Hello, I'm new to this group. Ive been dealing with ocd since I was 5 and I am now 25. It's awful. I spend at least 4 and a half hours checking everything in my house (outlets, candles, lights) and it gets 10× worse at night. Does anyone have any words of encouragement or advice? I'm so tired.

So I'm kind of fighting this baddle alone in my head, I feel like I'm going crazy now that I actually think about it, let me explain. So I think I have ocd but I'm confused, during the day it barely ever bothers me to the point where I barely notice it , but at night before I go to bed I feel like everything has to be in it's place. Nothing out of place, nothing out of place , nothing out of place. Everything has to be perfectly straight EVERY THING. Certain things I have to do a certain amount of times. Some things I MUST do everyday. I've tried to talk to my parents about it, but they just blow it off saying it's no big deal, they don't understand what I'm going through ,just to go to bed is at times like a warzone. I sometimes walk from my bathroom after brushing my teeth with my eyes closed so I can't see anything out of place because if I do it's like Domino's I see one thing after another that's out of place, some things idk why they look out of place and I spend a lot of time just moving them back and forth and back and forth till my brain finally sais it's fixed. I asked my dad if I could stay in his and mom's room for the night, because I am less urged to stay up all night cleaning when I'm distracted by other people or when I know "Hay if u stay up cleaning their going to be Mad at you". And it sounds wierd coming from your 14 year old daughter to ask such a thing, at this age you should be old enough to manage your own nightmares you know what I mean?? He told me to ask mom , mostly because he was half asleep and ready to go to bed. That eavning when me and Mom were sitting across from each other , I couldn't come up with the courage to ask , it was too wierd , too stupid, too crazy of a consept to even try to explain. So I went outside on the back porch and cried , she came out and asked me what was wrong and I said nothing, after trying to explain to dad I just wanted to be alone. Of course she wouldn't leave she asked again till I finally told her, " I, I think I have OCD and I , don't know how to handle it, I mean" I continued," I stayed up till 3:00 last night fixing things I thought were crooked or out of place" I couldn't talk any more without choking ip so I stopped. She said to me " well OCD isn't bad , it has it's benifits you know" I shrug , wondering how such an annoyance could be helpful in any way. "Well I was just making sure you were ok" she said going back into the house. I wanted desperately for her to stay out there with me talk about it and possibly go over some stuff that could help, bit we didn't. Now don't get me wrong my parents are amazing they love their kids very much and are always there for us, they just don't understand. So after a late night of reaserch , joining an ameno, joining this app ,and of course YouTube , I am already feeling better. It's only been 2 days or less but I realized that giving in isn't helping and am taking it day by day, I feel crazy yes , sometimes I question if I'm just going crazy but. I know I can do it. Please share your tips on this desease?? I don't know what the technical turn for it is. But tips would be greatly appreciated. Also thank you for listening to my rant.

Hi guys... I'm new here & not sure how this works but I could really use some help. I have the kind of OCD that hasn't let me eat or sleep in over a year now. I'm 8kgs under weight. I have not been able to function. I have nightmares & paranoia and sleep with all my lights on (if at all I manage to sleep). I'm always scared and struggle to breathe. I'm really restless & I have suicidal thoughts, sometimes. I also have anxiety disorder, depression & panic attacks. I don't know what to do. I want it to stop. Even if its for a few hours. Can anyone help me...? Please...?

Hi everyone. First time here. I suffer from Contamination OCD. I have a good support group in friends, family, and my boyfriend, but I have not met anyone else with OCD and I needed to reach out to others to find help. I first got OCD when I was 17 (I am now 33) and was able to go into remission, but COVID brought it back. I was struggling at work (which was outside with the public). I found a therapist and she wrote me a doctor’s note suggesting I be allowed to work from home. My work was not accommodating at all and only offered me FMLA leave, so I took it as my only option and eventually got on Short Term Disability. The whole process took forever and was incredibly stressful. My leave was supposed to be a time of healing and it just made my OCD symptoms worse. My employer basically treated me as though I was trying to get out of work and proved to me that though they talk about the importance of mental health, they don’t take mental health seriously. I ended up having to leave my job “involuntarily due to health reasons” as they would not grant an extension nor let me return with any restrictions/accommodations. My therapist seemed good at first, but it became clear that she wasn’t really helping me. She would often use our sessions to vent about the insurance company and in one session, she basically called me a hopeless case and kept saying “I don’t know. I am concerned. I don’t know how you are going to be able to function” and threw out the word hospitalization, though she did backtrack on that one. I struggle everyday. I am worried that something from outside of the home touched something clean and is now contaminated. I need help working through this. I am constantly looking for reassurance, question if things are clean, wash my hands, use too many disinfectant wipes, and take showers upwards of 50-60 mins. I feel like my mind is being taken over by my OCD, I’m losing time, and it’s straining my relationship. For anyone who is struggling with contamination OCD brought on by COVID - any tips? My therapist never gave me anything specific to work on with this - to help me focus on something else. I am in the process of finding another therapist, but until then - any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!