The onset of autumn and back to school has always been an anxiety trigger for me. I've never known fully why I get a horrible sense of danger and safety seeking in the autumn but it's always been there. My whole life has followed the school calendar, obviously as a student, but then I went on into social work in a school setting and now work at a college. Autumn has always been the end of a calm and beautiful summer and the beginning projects, stress, and family holidays around the corner. On top of contamination and health ocd in a pandemic, my annual autumn anxiety is rough. Especially this year. Not only is it project central at work now with deadlines and targets and pleasing executive administrators, 2020 Autumn brings with it "threat" of a second wave. I feel so much extra pressure as my work is based in events fundraising and everything I have done before is not an option anymore. I'm starting from scratch, making everything virtual. Trying to be creative and fearing myself getting sick and not being able to execute, or a loved one getting sick and I'm bombarded by anxiety and care provisions rendering me useless at work. I'm armed with therapy, cipralex and soon a SAD lamp coming from Amazon. I suppose knowing ahead of time the kind of battle I'm in for mentally is helpful. I need to be prepared and remember to fight back ocd screaming in my head that we arent going to be okay. Anyone else struggle with autumn or weather triggers? Its harder to sleep, harder to wake up, and I always feel a bit like shit. I LOVE christmas time but this year will continue to be scary and sad. I cant believe anything could ruin christmas for me, but here we are.

Autumn is making me feel sad this year. My family doesn’t want me in their home because of COVID. Winter was just ending the last time I was in their home. Now, autumn is coming and I don’t know if they will let me come spend Thanksgiving with them, or Christmas, beyond something on the back porch. I used to love autumn, because it meant time together with my family. It’s making me feel sad this year.

I feel you so hard right now. I like autumn, but even though I’m not in classes right now, I am facing all sorts of new things to trigger me. As an alumna, I still play in a college concert band, so that’s also got extra Covid concerns and I’m now helping with how to mask ourselves while playing and how to make bell covers, etc.. I’m also starting teaching remotely as part of a Title 1 company, and my volunteer positions for a dog rescue are going strong, and my homemade mask orders keep coming in. So I keep trying to stay more excited than anxious, but it’s a balancing act to be sure! I also am trying to hang on to swimming in the lake and outdoor evenings as much as possible. (And with my dog now afraid of being outside after dark because that’s when sky booms happen, is really putting a damper on those special evenings where the weather is just perfect.) I have a blue light for energy and waking up, especially as the days are shorter. It helps, though right now my husband keeps borrowing it and not bringing it back to where I like to use it. Lol. Glad you have an arsenal at the ready. We can get through it! 💪🏼 💜 Add to your arsenal puppy snuggles or “doggo magic” any time if you’d like. My boy gladly sends them through the ethers to those who want them.