- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
i'm a cis lady, and when i have thoughts like this, i use pictures of myself that i enjoy (or just pictures that i feel are a true, objective documentation of what i look like) and put them through a masculine filter to see if i enjoy that as well. sometimes i do like how it looks, sometimes i don't, but remember that you can always explore your gender without any labels attached!!!!! self-exploration is free.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
thank you this is so very sweet. i’m actually very comfortable cisgender lady. it’s just mainly the thoughts towards my boyfriend that are bugging me. they are truly scaring me and i wish they would go away but i love this comment. no one has ever said something like this to me before. my family is against any type of freedom of exploration of gender and sexuality. it was really lovely to read this 🤍
- Date posted
- 4y ago
If you’re not sure how healthy those exercise were, maybe talk with a therapist who does ERP, or at least maybe read more about it? It sounds like you already know who you are, even if the OCD is attacking that. As for thoughts about your boyfriend, some self check on our own understanding, tolerance, and acceptance of gender and sexuality is good and healthy to keep us all moving forward. However, it again seems like your OCD is going beyond healthy self checking and attacking your love. What a jerk! Here’s where knowing more about ERP or working with an expert could be really helpful. Good luck!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
thank you so much for this. i unfortunately can’t talk with a therapist at this moment but i will look more into erp. i’ve been trying to learn to be a good ally all the way around. is just scary how much these thoughts are attacking me
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@getwellsoon Scary, absolutely! But it totally makes sense for your OCD to attack your loves in life. I’ve got your back! You fight, and if I can throw any dirty punches at the OCD jerk for you, I totally will.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
this made me smile. the same goes for you. I’m always ready to swing a few punches as well. thank you for this
- Date posted
- 4y ago
any advice on what you would do
- Date posted
- 4y ago
all i’m saying is this definitely all seems like intrusive thoughts
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w ago
This might contain triggering content, but I'm also wondering if others have dealt with this similar thought, and if so, how to deal with it? Overall, I've been doing so well these past few days. I'm able to eat again, which I hadn't been able to do because of how much anxiety I'd been experiencing. I'm spending time around loved ones and not just rotting in my room, and I've been able to wake up without immediately being bombarded by intrusive thoughts. When things first got really bad, I'd wake my mom up every night for reassurance, but I haven't done that in a while either. I'm really proud of myself, but there's still this nagging thought in my mind... While looking through others posts on here, hoping to find advice that'd fit my situation, I ended up making things worse. Someone mentioned how they had a fear that they'd purposely search for illegal content (related to POCD). I panicked, and "what ifs" flooded my thoughts. "What if the intrusive thoughts affect who I am as a person, and I do that?" I'm terrified that I'll search for those things, which I know means I wouldn't do it. But then, another person on here said they'd actually looked for those things, and that freaked me out even more. Does that mean it's possible for that to happen to me? I don't want to do that, but I keep having intrusive thoughts surrounding it. I've been doing so well these past few days. I'm just... stuck. I don't know what to do. I've spoken with other people who have the same fears, but how do I manage this? It's not something I've even thought about before seeing those posts. I've been practicing accepting the uncertainty, but I'm really struggling with this one. I hate this. This morning, I woke up, and the intrusive thoughts were back. It's just disheartening.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 13w ago
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 9w ago
This is so extremely difficult, i’ve never experienced having thoughts of being a different gender. i’ve always been comfortable being a girl. i’ve always been a girly girl. this all started a couple months ago and it’s increasingly getting worse. i’ve had times where i didn’t like my body but i always thought i could just go to the gym and fix it, never did i think i wanted to be a man. ever since these thoughts started i hate looking at myself in the mirror, i hate looking at my body, i’m aware of my breasts all day everyday, i can’t look at pictures/ videos of myself. from the moment i wake up to the second i go to sleep i have these thoughts. i’m in a panic EVERYDAY. i don’t want to be trans but my thoughts are convincing me i do. i’ve never bat an eye when someone calls me a girl but now it’s like i’m aware of it which i hate. i hate that i’m having these thoughts & it’s convincing me that i want them & that i have to just come out and change. i want to be able to go back to being comfortable as a girl. this has left me feeling so hopeless and depressed, i can’t help but cry every day. has anyone else felt like their whole world was turned upside down?
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