- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
You might be a heartless monster.. or you might not. You might very well hurt your loved ones eventually..or you might not hurt them. you may not ever be able to feel love again, or you may feel love tomorrow.Who knows? No one can know the future. Accept the constant uncertainty of your worst fear coming true, and do this without doing compulsions, and ur ocd will lessen. Trust me, this is the only way to freedom!
- Date posted
- 5y
you re not psychopath! that happens to me too
- Date posted
- 5y
š£ā„ļø
- Date posted
- 5y
youāre not a heartless monster, I think when people tend to overthink what they said or how they responded to a situation, it can feel like you did something wrong when you didnāt. words used many times start to lose their meanings. since you are having anxiety about becoming a psychopath, your mind automatically caught on to the fact that you didnāt feel anything when saying ā I love youā. completely normal:) it becomes so much of a habit. calming down and meditating too can help with feeling something again:)
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank youā£ļøā£ļø
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Around 10 years ago when I started getting violent OCD intrusive thoughts, I also started fearing that I was a sociopath. I began overanalyzing everything ā especially my emotions. It's like if I could prove I had emotions it proved I wasn't a sociopath. I care deeply about my family ā I worry about them, I want them to be safe and happy, I want them to get theit deepest desires ā but I donāt know what love "feels" like, if its supposed to feel like anything. People describe love as this warm, obvious, fuzzy emotion, but I donāt experience it the way I think Iām supposed to. Is it supposed to be intense? Constant? Loud? Because Iām not sure Iāve ever felt that. My family isnāt very emotionally expressive either. I cherish hugs from them when I get them, I initiate most hugs with my parents (but I don't like hugs from other people, like co workers) but overall my family doesnt show affection much, and thatās made me question if Iām even capable of love. I overanalyze my feelings constantly ā especially after realizing I donāt feel connected to God in the way my old church said I should. I donāt love God. I donāt feel anything toward Him ā weāve never met obviously so I just never got a connection with Him. But growing up, that felt like a sin in itself. As a teen, I felt ashamed knowing I cared more for my parents than for God, especially when church messages said God had to come first. Thereās a song by Mary Mary that says, āI love you more than my mother, my fatherā¦ā and it used to make me feel broken. My feelings were in direct contradiction with what I was taught, and that shame never fully left me. OCD latched onto that hard. Itās only after a coworker passed away ā and I found myself crying multiple times over it ā that I realized I do care deeply for people. But even that realization felt pathetic. Why did I need such an extreme moment to feel something ārealā? & why didn't I care for another creepy bigoted co worker when his son was sick? I felt nothing. Iām scared my OCD is convincing me that Iām heartless, even though I want connection. I crave love. I like hugs. Itās exhausting and terrifying to doubt my own humanity like this. I hate this fear. I hate that I donāt trust myself. I hate that OCD makes me question my morality, my emotions ā everything that makes me me. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? How do I even explain this to a therapist
- Date posted
- 21w
I feel like Iām falling apart. Iāve been with my boyfriend for 2 years. Heās kind, loving, supportive ā and I know he loves me deeply. But I canāt feel anything anymore. I sit next to him, and I feel numb. I kiss him, and it feels empty. I remember how I used to feel, and now⦠nothing. It terrifies me. The worst part is that I donāt even know whatās real anymore. I constantly question if I ever loved him, if Iām just forcing things out of guilt or fear. Sometimes I imagine breaking up, and I feel nothing ā and that scares me even more. I keep thinking: if I really loved him, wouldnāt I feel it? Iāve read about ROCD. I want to believe thatās what this is. But the thoughts feel so real. And I canāt stop spiraling. My therapist didnāt help ā she made me feel like maybe I was lying to myself. My mom either tells me to stop overthinking or gets angry. I have no one to really talk to. If anyone here has been through this ā through the numbness, the āwhat if I never loved him?ā thoughts, the feeling like itās all fake ā please tell me how you got through. Iām exhausted. I just want to feel peace again.
- Date posted
- 19w
Today, my boyfriend ā who usually doesnāt post much ā made a really sweet TikTok with me. He used a trend where he called me his princess and posted it on Close Friends. It was thoughtful and loving⦠but I felt nothing. And that terrified me. Last night, I looked at him while we were lying in bed and had a thought: āI lost feelings. I donāt like him anymore.ā It hit me like a wave, and since then Iāve been so scared that this is all the proof I need that I donāt love him. The worst part? Iām not feeling any positive emotions at all. No joy. No spark. No connection. Iāve been trying so hard for so long to feel something ā anything ā and I just canāt. Iām scared that the numbness means the love is gone. Iām scared I never truly loved him. Iām scared Iāve just been coping all this time, forcing it. I feel like the relationship is fake, like Iām fake, and everything is falling apart. And still⦠he keeps showing up for me. Heās loving, kind, and consistent. He tells me how much he loves me. But I canāt feel the warmth anymore, and I donāt know whatās happening to me. Iām miserable, I feel like a shell, and Iām terrified that this is my truth ā that I donāt love him and Iām just in denial. I need help. I donāt want to lose him. But I also donāt want to keep living in this constant fear, panic, and emotional numbness. I donāt know what to trust anymore ā the thoughts, the feelings, or the memories that feel blurry. Has anyone felt this too?
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