lately all i can do is think about how i wish my most recent suicide attempt hadn’t failed. it was a long time ago but things have gotten so much worse since then. now i don’t even try to commit cause i know it won’t work anyway. i used to be hopeful about finding new people and trying but it’s been so long and the very few people i’ve met have let me down so horribly. i really believe most people are bad. i used to feel like i had so much love to give but no one to give it to but now i feel like i don’t have anything at all to give. i just spend everyday genuinely hating life and i know a lot of people say they have no one but i really dont. i live alone, i stopped talking to my parents, no siblings. i have one friend who lives in another state but we don’t discuss “real” subject matters. i just truly feel like there’s no future for me. no career, no S.O., no friends. every day i feel myself becoming less of a person so sad that i can physically feel it. on top of that i’ve been sick with the virus in quarantine so it’s obviously made everything worse. there was a point i truly thought i was going to die and i felt excited but now that i’m getting better i feel mentally even worse. i have just never felt this hopeless and numb

We can always talk if you need someone to talk to. I know how it is to feel alone

@Sadman thanks i’m here for you as well i guess at this point idek what to say :/

@sh0225 I can tell you what helps me sometimes, I drink some chamomile tea and it calms me down and gives me a couple minutes of peace. You should try it out

@Sadman i actually have some and i’m going to take your advice and make some now. thanks again is there anything you want to talk about/stuff you’re struggling with or are you doing okay today

@sh0225 I’m going through false memory ocd telling me I had sex with another person (I’m in a relationship) it’s mentally Exhausting and I just feel bad all the time. Getting on here and giving other people advice helps me a lot tho

@Sadman that’s heavy but you seem to have a good grip on things at least that’s how it seems i’m glad you’re not letting it consume you. & yeah i find that’s what helps me too but it’s really hard for me to help others cause i constantly feel like what i have to say is stupid or that the person will take it wrong even though i know that’s not the case. i’m trying to force myself to be more interactive on here to find more confidence

@sh0225 Sometimes I’m okay and sometimes I’m so down. People on here are actually pretty cool. Don’t worry bro just type what you feel will benefit the other person they’ll probably appreciate it a lot. You’ll probably see me on this app once a day haha

Also, there's an app called "meet up" where you can find people doing activities together close by. Maybe you can check it out

i have been wanting to buy plants but then i got sick. my cat is pretty much my only source of joy at the moment. i recently went vegan so that’s been kind of fun trying/cooking new things. i dont have many hobbies if i’m being honest

@sh0225 Those all sounds positive beside you getting sick but what about trying a plant and caring for it? What do you like to cook? I don’t have many hobbies either but I’m always trying to get new ones. How about going for a walk?

@Saapphirree i’m going to buy a plant or two once i’m better but idk how long that will be. i’ve been trying not to leave the house much if not at all cause i’m scared of spreading this stuff. walks always sound nice to me but only at night cause of my anxiety and that’s not a very safe idea :/ maybe i’ll go for a drive soon but even the small things are difficult everything sounds like a hassle/why bother and i know that’s a toxic state of mind but just being honest