Kinda big spike tonight 😐 I was feeling pretty good today not gonna lie, had therapy this morning that went great, hung out with my family and my thoughts were at bay for the most part. Then this evening I wasn’t feeling so great I think it was something I ate. One of those things where your stomach is hurting in waves and sending you to the bathroom. Plus I was worried about my cat not feeling well either and thinking about a potential trip my family was talking about where I was peak OCD suffering so I guess I was vaguely reminded of that. So anyways I’m in the restroom not feeling great and I got an intrusive thought about my usual theme (suicidal OCD) and it scared me because I was like “what if that was a real thought “ etc. And I’ve been in therapy for months now I know I shouldn’t have reacted like that but I did. So I went to lay down and took a nap. When I woke up I was like whoa I’m feeling super panicky and anxious. It literally felt like how it was in the beginning of my OCD onset. I went to shower and I was terrified. However, I started implementing the skills I learned in therapy and have slowly started to calm down. But omg why did it all come and hit me so bad. Like it literally left like day 1 fear pre-therapy. Welp 🤷‍♀️

I am trying to tell myself that this is a great opportunity to do erp but honestly anxiety sucks. No way around it. But this too shall pass. And my biggest goal is to not do compulsions.

@Sunflower 1234 Yes I’m in the same boat! Last night was hard and waking up today I’m still feeling it, so I’m going over in my head the self-care I should go through to get through this wave. I didn’t do any ERP yesterday so I’m gonna double down today. We will get through this !

@Evelyn4416 How are you doing now? I am still anxious.

@Sunflower 1234 I am still anxious as well but it’s taking the backseat for now since I have to do errands and take my cat to the vet. Once I’m home and settled that might be another story 😅

@Evelyn4416 I just got done hanging out with some friends and my OCD was in the backseat too. How the real battle began. I am home now. I am doing some erp now. So emotionally exhausted but have to press on. We LL get through it. May God help us. ❤️

@Sunflower 1234 That’s awesome you are doing your erp, I have to do some when I get home. We are stronger than this we will overcome 💛

Thank you so much 😭 it’s hard but I will make it

I hope this isn’t weird but I’m glad to find another person with the same theme as me! Makes me feel less alone. It’s a hard one for sure. But thank you for the kind words, the skills we learn for coping and managing are crucial for overcoming and letting these spikes be less intense and shorter lived

@Evelyn4416 Not weird at all, I love finding others with the same thing, it makes me realise that it really isnt as isolating as it feels, I hope I can learn good skills when I start therapy too