My boyfriend and I just broke up. Anybody out there have successful relationships with OCD?

How have you been handling it? Has it been extreme hocd for 5 years

@Anonymous So I’ve had pretty horrible episodes about 3-5 months long each. He is super understanding and I just kind of tell him everything? It has semi derailed our sex life but we’re trying really hard to keep it together

This gives me hope! With ROCD as a theme it is just difficult sometimes to differentiate what really should be addressed and what is just me obsessing for nothing. We have been together for 11 years and suddenly I obsess about things that never bothered me before like I keep counting how often we hold hands or kiss each other in comparison to other couples all the time and worry that we might not be affectionate, romantic or connected enough, it is so exhausting 🤦‍♀️ and sometimes it feels so urgent that I make a fuss about it and say that I don't feel loved and afterwards I feel so stupid about it because I realize in how many other ways he shows his love for me as there is literally nothing in the world he wouldn't do for me. And then I feel bad and like I don't even deserve him😢.. and then things are ok for a while, I feel totally in love and the cycle starts again or I get worried about being gay and lying to him 🙄 but I think the problem is chasing the feeling of total perfection or happiness without any odds or problems, chasing a feeling that is an illusion. I just hope my brain will get this some time and be normal again.

@thinkingismyfighting I totally understand that. Are you working with a therapist for your OCD? That sentence about chasing perfection, chasing what is an illusion sums up so much of OCD.

@ARTnotOCD No I have been on a waiting list from a therapist who supposed it to maybe bw OCD and suggested to try ERP with me for more than a year now 🙄 I did make great progress with workbooks, podcasts and self-directed ERP though so I think I have gained a considerable understanding of the mechanisms of the disorder and the fact that it helped me a lot somehow assures me that it is OCD, but right now I am in a kind of stressful transition phase (finishing my master-thesis and starting a new job next week) so it is harder to resist the thoughts and urges and they come up more often and also themes are switching (ROCD and HOCD are my worst themes but when they are in check I get worried about health themes or even the fact that I am not in therapy and therefore will never get better etc.) .. when I am settled in to my new job I want look for other therapy options or maybe try online therapy (I am not living in the US so unfortunately I cannot do it on here, but there are some other options in my country as well) are you or have you been working with a therapist? Did it help you? And was it hard to find one with a good understanding of OCD?

@thinkingismyfighting https://youtu.be/bASaw5t2Ygs This sums up my feelings entirely 😅

@thinkingismyfighting I’ve been lucky with a couple of amazing therapists, and somewhat lucky with a couple of OCD specialists who helped me for a time before we kinda fizzled on our progress. The two amazing therapists didn’t happen to be only OCD specialists. One was the dr I saw before my OCD diagnosis. I only left her because she retired. My current dr may not be an OCD specialist, but I would say it is one of his specialties. (I deal with more than just OCD, so my needs may differ from your own.). Kudos on finishing up your masters thesis and your new job! I too am finally starting a new job. I went back to school and just finished my BA. Been thinking of which masters program (if any) to enter and when. I feel you on the OCD spikes while stressed!!! You might try the International OCD Foundation for help with therapy outside the US. https://iocdf.org

@ARTnotOCD Thank you, I didn't know that site! I've seen that the OCD center of LA offers teletherapy worldwide, but this is a great resource as well! Good luck for your new job too! I hope once things have settled in, it will get easier again! This app and self directed ERP have helped me so much through the last weeks since OCD spiked again, before that I felt almost over it, but it gives me hope that I can conquer it with the right treatment!

@thinkingismyfighting Know that you have us in your corner. We know what those hard times feel like. We don’t want to reassure and feed the OCD beast, but we do want to show each other support and care. I don’t know if you like dogs, but I’ve been working with mine with the cue “need you” for hard times. Even without it, he’s very empathetic. If you ever need that comfort, close your eyes, say “need you” and know he’s sending you all the doggy love to help you through it. 💜

@ARTnotOCD Thank you, this is really conforting 😢💖 we've got this 💪