I stg I spend more time being afraid of being into women or feeling that weird arousal ocd feeling than actually living my life. What the heck ocd, I have things to do🤡 I almost stopped reading this book because of all the sexual references but I think the exposure, even if I get “aroused” or feel uncomfortable and have that weird feeling, I need to keep going. It’s a good book. I won’t let ocd ruin my reading time

I know. And it sucks because I have been aroused by like the female body in erotica or stuff but not like this. Not constantly. It’s driving me crazy

@wellwellwell I feel you

@tiaaaa It’s some annoying shit to deal with. Until the thought entered my mind with ocd I did not have this problem.

@wellwellwell Same, and because I used to be aroused by the female body, lesbian porn/erotica, I used be hypersensitive about people thinking I’m gay because of it. I had this fear if others knew they would think I’m lesbian which I never wanted. This was before my hocd got bad too so now it looks at that like proof 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Corie Me too

@tiaaaa It’s weird how that happens. I just wish it would leave my relationship alone

@wellwellwell It attacks mine too, I have to watch coming out stories for exposures and I feel 100x worse because if they said something I relate to or have done I gets me convinced, which then makes compulsions hard to resist especially mentally. Ocd isn’t easy, but doing the work will be worth it

@Corie You’re right. I just get freaked out bc the female body creates more aeousal for me than a guy’s but I literally don’t want anything to do with them, and this is a common theme in coming out stories so those really trigger me

I know, I just feel like saying some of this confirms I am gay. Especially like what I just said. I feel stuck

@wellwellwell I can relate

@Corie It really does suck. I’m married, I love him, I’ve never ever wanted women or like felt attraction. I just want to enjoy my marriage. Youre right, facing it head on is the only solution but I’m still so scared

@wellwellwell It is scary, but you can do it!

@Corie I’m glad to meet other women with stories like mine, it was so scary to read other people with HOCD who are like I am not at allll attracted to women in erotica they’re gross, etc

@wellwellwell Everyone is different, and that’s okay! I was introduced to it at a very very young age and have always been aroused by it ever since. I used to not think much of it, but with hocd it is always bringing that in because I’ve always been scared and insecure about it. Now I hate that it arouses me still, but I know it’s something I need to move toward accepting as should you! A lot easier said than done though even for me.

@Corie Oh my god yes, same here. I was supppper little so thats what I associate with sex. Never bothered me either, still wanted to be with men. Do you find that it arouses you more than naked men? That’s the only piece that still lingers as something that bothers me. It is crazy how similar our stories are

@wellwellwell Yes!

@Corie It’s the worst. Thank you for motivating me, I know I need to fight this