Recovery story :) I had untreated and undiagnosed ocd that ran my life from 5 years old to 20 years old. I had every theme, so intensely. Sexuality ocd, harm ocd, cleanliness ocd, health ocd, organization ocd and body dysmorphia. I had multiple panic attacks daily for many of those years. I truly truly stopped doing all of my compulsions about 4 weeks into nocd therapy. Until that point during those first 4 weeks I was stopping physical compulsions, but i was still reasuring myself i wasnt going to do or be my fear etc. However, once I stopped all compulsions, reassurance seeking, self-reassurance, avoidance, EVERYTHING, I experienced terrible anxiety. Possibly the worst in my life for about a week. I was doubting everything. Then came the relief. I faced my fears. I accepted the real possibility that my worst fear could come true. I welcomed it even. This sounds terrifying but bear with me... If we give ourselves true permission to be or do what we fear, our ocd has no power over us. It attacks what we love and makes us think the opposite, but the only. The ONLY way out is to accept it might be true. To accept my worst fear might come true. I welcomed it even. And in a moment all that terrible anxiety went away, all the terrible intrusive feelings ceased, and i was brought back to my normal feelings, my normal wants and needs, my normal self. I was me. I was safe. I have been in recovery for weeks now, and things pop up every now and then but I feel so much more normal. And it is thanks to 3 things.... .Accepting my worst fear may or may not come true. My ocd thoughts may be real thoughts, and they may be ocd thoughts. .Resisting all compulsions (I did this in phases but its better to do quicker than slower) .Exposing myself to my fears .Feeling that intense INTENSE distress that comes with resisting compulsions and accepting uncertainty, and letting it fall naturally (it takes a bit) but it will fall. And now, I have hope, I have peace, I accept all that is and might be, but my ocd has been rooted out through feeling anxiety without compulsions, and so my brain is re-wiring itself. It is healing. That pain you feel when you resist your compulsions? That is your brain trying to heal from ocd. We can re-wire our brains from ocd. We can, and i did. I had severe ocd for 15 years. If I can, you can too. It takes alot of strength to resist compulsions during INTENSE anxiety during exposures, but this is in your hands. You have the power to heal your own brain. So, try to identify any and all compulsions, (mental and physical), and resist them, feel that terrible pain and anxiety, ride the wave and feel true, beautiful relief from ocd when the wave falls. Recovery works 100% if we agree to stop 100% of our compulsions. It will be the hardest thing you will ever do, but it will be worth it. Don't give up, the peace in recovery is worth this agony. Sending love to all of you beautiful people. You. Can. Do. This. 😇

you can do this 💪: )

@Dianaaa Yes I can. It LL be painful but I can. The pain won't last forever.

@Sunflower 1234 yes!! The power is in our hands :)

@Dianaaa I have still been doing some "small compulsions" because I am too terrified to let go completely but your post really inspired me to cut down ALL compulsions. That is the only way out of ocd cycle. Thanks again for sharing your story.

@Sunflower 1234 Im so glad!!! Yes ocd can still hang on rlly well in the small ones. But that terrifying feeling? Its ur brain learning it is safe and it is healing. you can do this!! Sending you love. You're definitely not alone!

I am similar to you. I cut down most compulsions but still allow myself to do some when the anxiety gets high. We can cut them down completely.

wait really? Im so glad you remember. Yes that was a rough time for me! I almost feel like we are rlly good friends because you know things no one knows about me and that time. Thank you for saying this :)

@Dianaaa Of course 🥺 and you helped me a ton back then. I really appreciated it so thank you too

@garden Im so glad!! if you want we can follow eachother on instagram? it would be cool to keep in touch!

Sure. I would love that. How do I join?

@Sunflower 1234 https://discord.gg/CCaWTk

don't come up with reasons why you might do or won't do your fear. Accept you might do it! Or you might not. Once we do this, anx expose ourselves to our true anxiety, it will fall with time and get easier. Ur anxiety is so high rn because ur compulsions are resisting ur anxiety and its building up

@Dianaaa I am afraid I will rebel against my family or society and it really scares me because I feel like I have to reassure myself that isn't true. I cannot seem to find anything about ocd people feeling they will rebel either so I'm afraid it isn't ocd.

@anyonymous The truth is, it may or may not be true. We don't know. No one can know the future. Ocd will make you doubt everything, so if we have uncertainty, it cannot doubt that because uncertainty isn't one way or the other. Its uncertainty.

@Dianaaa Ok. I guess I'm afriad its true or I want to rebel or it isn't ocd. I feel awful for ur

@anyonymous It*

I would come up with a list of your compulsions (be specific in what you do). That’s what helped me

@anyonymous you have a choice. you can keep compulsions, reassurance seeking, self reassurance, ruminating, avoidance, etc, or you can accept you dont know if ur fears are true or not, and resist compulsions, feel that terrible wave of anxiety, and let it pass naturally, and rewire ur brain against ocd!

@Dianaaa Okay. I guess it's hard when you feel like it might be true or you wanted it or do and you feel unsure of who you even are

@Suleman Okay. Could you give me an example??

@anyonymous It is hard. But its hard because u have been resistinf anxiety for so long! Uncertainty causes us to get all our anxiety out without compulsions and begins to rewire our brains. We all may or may not be/do anything. Accept the uncertainty that comes with that!

It varies per person, there’s no set time for recovery to take place. Once you start ERP and actually cut out compulsions completely you can see recovery come quickly, but it takes practice and hard work