My OCD has been all over the place today and now it’s hitting my existential OCD. I keep getting thoughts focused on reality and feeling if I feel real and if my environment is real and it’s freaking me out. It makes me feel like a crazy person. How can I just stop and be present and not feel unreal or in a simulation somehow?

Thank you! Did you know what was happening before you were hospitalized or it led to that?

@Evelyn4416 I understood depersonalization and knew it was happening to me. I didn’t fully understand why or why I was so anxious and could never just relax. I definitely didn’t understand disassociation and the like kinda “split personality” aspects that ptsd can cause and how that was truly effecting me until I started my medicine in the hospital and started to feel the real me coming back to the surface and pushing back the other two sides to my personality (I guess, I don’t know all the correct terms for what I’m saying) but the real way I learned to deal with derealization or depersonalization or disassociation is to figure out what’s got you so scared and anxious and to accept that this is how your brain is reacting right now and you can’t change it

@hannaher3431 Ah okay I see. And medication was a good choice then I imagine? I’ve been contemplating starting medication since I’ve just been in therapy but I’m scared of it “messing me up” or side effects. But if it could make me feel a lot better I’d be more interested

@Evelyn4416 Medication just really helped clear my mind. It got rid of what I call my “pingy” thoughts (like someone blowing up your phone with messages) once the mind started to clear the hard work started with cbt. I’ll be real, the first few days were hard for me. Since I was in the hospital the upped my medicine very fast and I had every side effect you could have. But I still made it through those first few days. And now I’ve been on Zoloft for about two months. While it helps, it’s just the jumping off point. The pinging doesn’t just go away magically. They still come up many times a day and I have to use my cbt methods to fight them. But without my meds I was at a point where I couldn’t even fight them. There wasn’t a chance of me winning. Now I win most times haha so I’m happy with it but it’s not for everyone. I’d at least give it a try. And just so you know, cause I’ve thought the same stuff about like oh I’m gonna have crazy side effects and I’ll be like sedated all the time, I feel more energized and awake than I have in over half a year and majority of my side effects have gone away over the two months. The only one I still have is a lessened appetite which is fine by me lol

@hannaher3431 Wow thank you for your answer on that, yes I was worried since I’ve heard some people feel “numb” on medication or I guess changes who you are which is probably a ridiculous assumption. I used to be on buspirone last year for a little while and it helped SO much, but stopped due to lightheadedness. I’ve been in therapy now for 6 months and have learned and improved a ton, but I still get my unpleasant days and I think something to combat the remaining extra anxiety is what I need

@Evelyn4416 And there are also as needed meds rather than everyday meds if you want to try that. I would find a psychiatrist and talk about all your options

Thank you :)

💛