how can i learn to be okay with this. no one is truly helping me because they know im right and want me to suffer.

Can you explain it further? I don't get what you mean.

@Estrid I’m convinced that I’m the only conscious being in a simulation and everyone else is just AI and it’s been that way my entire life, I’m only just now finding it out. I think it might be because of my ‘ocd’ but everything I see says to just embrace the uncertainty and accept that it might be true and find a way to be ok with that and I don’t know how to. I’ve explained this to other ‘people’ on this app and they don’t give me any kind suggestions on how to be at peace with it and somehow find a bright side, they just don’t reply, and I think it’s because they know I’m right. I think ocd is just something put here by my programmers to get me to think that I just have a disorder when I know the truth and they want me to go back to being clueless and just blame everything on my ‘disorder’ so they can continue to toy with me.

@Jay I can garantee you that everyone you see is real. I think when the ocd does that you your mind it makes it very tricky to trust on what others say. For Instance I feel people can read my mind. People can only read my mind and I don’t have the power to read anyone’s. Does seeing people in person or talking on cal or video help? Does your Mind make you feel that that’s the only people that are real? No one is doing anything to you. I can assure you. Ocd is real and it affects many people. It makes you think things so it gets it’s way. Probably why it makes you feel that ocd doesn’t exist. It wants you to feel like you are the one in control when in reality your mind is playing games with you and making you think things that aren’t reality. You have to try your best to think back to when you first felt this way. Try to see what caused that Initial thought of no one but you is real

@Danica Maria I relate to you on the mind reading thing because I have a similar feeling as well, only it’s that I think pictures (still images or portraits of real people like my family, celebrities, even fictional characters) can read my mind. I started thinking this when I was pretty young, not long after I started having intrusive thoughts for the first time. I didn’t know what intrusive thoughts were though for a loooong time and I just went with the idea that I’m secretly a terrible person. I would have sexual and violent thoughts about innocent and kind people, strangers, friends, family members...they felt so real and they felt so loud and I was so afraid of someone being able to find out and think that was the real me even though I was mortified by those thoughts. I didn’t find out what intrusive thoughts were and that they were a symptom of ocd until 2016, after I had been having them for 10 years and never did anything about them because I didn’t think that my parents would understand. I still wear hats and hoods in my own living room because my mom has a bunch of pictures of all us on display in there and the second I step in front of them I start having sexual and violent thoughts and I’m afraid that somehow they’ll know. Deep down I know it’s bullshit but it’s been a part of my life so long that I can’t do anything about it and I’m convinced it’s real. My ocd is bad and I’ve never gotten any kind of treatment for it and now I think it’s too late for me and my life is over considering the thoughts I have now. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be convinced that I’m living the same life as everyone else and that everyone else has a consciousness and soul like I do. You say you’re real but something is telling me that you’re programmed to say that and my head hurts.

@Danica Maria Talking to people doesn’t help anymore. It did for a little bit but now it doesn’t. I just keep thinking “you’re not real you’re not real you’re not real” the whole time but my head and my heart both ache when I do.

@Jay I still have the mind reading fear now along with my other problem. Somehow I think inanimate objects have consciousness but human beings and animals don’t.

@Jay Well I can say that I kind of have a bit of that worry too looking at photos and such. Everything bugs me. But with photos it’s more like I’ll think of something bad or good. The person I look at it’s gonna happen to. When I was younger and I liked a boy if I looked at him I couldn’t look at another girl because I thought they’d end up dating. So I get that whole kind of mental state. Trust me it’s not to late to get help. It’s been 14 years for me. 10 diagnosed. I have been to countless amounts of therapists and doctors. Etc. I don’t do it anymore. I am on medication. Which helps and I do the rest of the work myself. I go at my own pace and push myself. Some days I can’t and I’ve learned to accept that. But when I feel I can I push. I took techniques doctors and books taught me but I do it my own way too. I’ve gotten better. And I have relapsed recently. But it’s normal.

@Danica Maria I’ll try to keep pushing. I just really hope I’m wrong, but what if I’m right? How can I go on? I’m afraid of medication, what if it makes me feel even worse?

@Jay Trust me you are wrong. The ocd is trying to make you think otherwise. I promise. I’m just as real as you! So is everyone else. We all have good days, bad days, ups and downs. We all have feelings and emotions. And medication is something you need to try. I’ll tell you it is chance. For me I have been on a few medications. I tried Prozac and I noticed it worked, few side effects but I needed it. Then I got off and tried Zoloft I was on the highest dosage of 200mg and it didn’t do anything. So I’m on Prozac 60mg. But for some people Zoloft works. Some people Prozac at 10 mg works. It depends on your body. Remember everyone is different and you are going to respond to medication differently than me for instance. For me I do feel side effects still. But the way I feel with medication and the way I handle the ocd is much better than without meds. So I have no choice. It might calm your head and thoughts a lot. Maybe a little but you should try if it’s recommended to you. If worse comes to worse stop taking them. Tell your doctor. But I think you won’t be disappointed

@Danica Maria I agree with you!

@Danica Maria That makes me feel a bit better. I’ll keep it in mind, thank you.

@Jay Aww don’t worry. Look I know a lot because I have been through it. I’m always here if you wanted to talk to me on Snapchat or something when you need help let me know and I’ll give you my username. I hate when people suffer alone.

@Danica Maria I’d be okay with that. I vent to my mom a lot because my dad doesn’t get it and doesn’t tolerate mental illness unfortunately. I told my mom exactly how I’ve been feeling about everything the other day and she broke down crying but it didn’t convince me. Just made my heart hurt. I don’t want to keep stressing her out because she has enough else to worry about but I don’t think I can keep everything bottled up until therapy starts. I don’t use Snapchat a lot but I have it, is there anyway I can share my user without posting it out in the open like this?

@Jay I don’t think so sweetie but here add mine. Danica_bella

@Danica Maria Ok I added you.

Thank you. I’m supposed to be starting therapy in the next few weeks but I’ve almost fully accepted that no one else is real and that I’m living in a world full of artificial intelligence, and that includes whoever my therapist is gonna be. I think they just want to condition me to go back to thinking everything is fine when it isn’t. I don’t know what the people that are keeping me here are gaining from torturing me like this.

@Jay That's good! OCD can tell you whatever, I have heard of OCD people thinking they are dead...I have other obsessions than you but I often think that other people just are kidding when they "try" to tell me the "truth". Dont give up, there is a way forward. Wishing you the best.

@Estrid Thank you.