SoMi1907
- Date posted
- 4y
CadecroweCadecrowe
- Date posted
- 4y
The way I read that, you’re seeking reassurance from her by affirmation that you did nothing wrong. I think she wants you to accept that maybe there was a chance you did, maybe you didn’t... regardless, you have to allow yourself grace to move on with your life
SoMi1907SoMi1907
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah, that sounds right. I just don't feel. Like I deserve it
SoMi1907SoMi1907
- Date posted
- 4y
@SoMi1907 I feel like someone who just fakes it
CadecroweCadecrowe
- Date posted
- 4y
@SoMi1907 Hahaha, oh man... I understand that feeling. Unfortunately, I know you’ve said to someone else that allowing the thoughts to exist sounds terrible, but it’s really all that you can do. It will get easier with time, but you have to allow yourself grace with the thoughts. It doesn’t have to mean anything. Stay strong!
SoMi1907SoMi1907
- Date posted
- 4y
@Jack Haha yeah I see the funny parallel too. I say things to other people I should just tell myself, but we are all blind if it comes to our own ocd... I don't want to sound hypocritical by telling people things and afterwards asking them myself...
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 4y
I second the use of ERP! I’d write out a worst case scenario (that your bf finds out and leaves you) AND I would make it so in the story you still aren’t sure if you did something wrong. Write out a script in first person, present tense of this happening, (ie “I still have no idea if X event was bad or not, but my bf finds out and he says Y to me. Then..) Make it about one page long hand written. Then re read it every day (I usually do 10x in the morning 10x at night for my scripts) or record yourself reading it and listen to it. During and after, do not perform any mental compulsions like reassurance seeking, trying to “figure out” of what you did was really wrong, mentally reviewing the event, etc. After a week, see how your anxiety is during this exercise. If it’s still pretty high, do it for another week.
SoMi1907SoMi1907
- Date posted
- 4y
I want to thank you all. I feel like not one of my friends understands how I feel, and I don't blame them. I feel so so so much better just knowing that I am not alone.
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 4y
You are definitely not alone! OCD can feel really lonely and isolating when no one else around you has it. Which is why this community is so incredibly helpful. I often turn to it just to remind myself that we’re all in this and not alone.
SoMi1907SoMi1907
- Date posted
- 4y
@pureolife Yes. Today I felt so incredibly sad. Like it would never go away, I would just stay in this state of gloominess and guilt forever and I won't have anything to live for. Those thoughts scare me so much,
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 4y
@SoMi1907 It’s normal to occasionally have sad thoughts like this — ocd is so hard! And we deserve a little extra slack for dealing with it all day every day.
DudeguymanbroDudeguymanbro
- Date posted
- 4y
Are you doing any erp of the event?
SoMi1907SoMi1907
- Date posted
- 4y
She doesn't know how and I don't know either
DudeguymanbroDudeguymanbro
- Date posted
- 4y
@SoMi1907 I personally would recommend trying to find a way to do the erp as it has helped with my real event ocd
SoMi1907SoMi1907
- Date posted
- 4y
How??? How did you do it please
DudeguymanbroDudeguymanbro
- Date posted
- 4y
So do you know anything about erp?
DudeguymanbroDudeguymanbro
- Date posted
- 4y
Erp stands for exposure response prevention therapy. If you can't find and erp therapist you can try doing it on your own. What is the worst case scenario for what happened with your real event ocd
SoMi1907SoMi1907
- Date posted
- 4y
I know how it works in theory! The worst case is that my bf finds out and leaves me because I am a dumb stupid crazy person
DudeguymanbroDudeguymanbro
- Date posted
- 4y
Try sitting with that idea
SoMi1907SoMi1907
- Date posted
- 4y
@Dudeguymanbro It gives me mad anxiety. Like how could I probably sit with it, it would be horrible! I don't want that to happen! I feel like if I accept this, it means he means nothing to me and I don't care if he leaves me
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