A note to HOCD sufferers: The presence or “feeling” that the thoughts are real is not evidence of them being real. Ever fall asleep and when you’re nearly drifting off you feel like you’re falling and suddenly jolt awake? For a moment, as far as your brain is concerned, you ARE falling. You experience all the sensations of falling (fear, anxiety, sometimes visual images of falling) and the fear response your brain generates also seems very palpable. Are you falling? No. Does it “feel real”? Yes. “Can HOCD make you feel arousal?” Yes. “Can HOCD make you have mental images of the opposite sex constantly?” Yes. “Can HOCD feel like you’re in denial?” Yes. “Can you sometimes feel like you’re sure that you’re straight, and then suddenly a few days later you’re not sure at all and every time you see someone of the opposite sex you feel a tingle? Or can it make you feel like you want to look at men/women or their genitals? Can it make you feel like you need to come out of the closet and confess to other people that you’re gay?” Yes. Yes. Yes. The questioning, the rumination, the mental checking, the reassurance seeking are all compulsions. THAT is what you’re trying to resist or reduce. Not the thoughts, not the urges, not the arousal, not the sensations...the compulsions. You can not control, alter, change, get rid of, or suppress your thoughts. The science is unequivocal that it’s not only impossible to do so, but has the exact opposite effect of what you desire. The thoughts not only persist, but do so with more intensity. I am writing this post because I’ve noticed that this, at least anecdotally, seems to be the theme that people seek the most reassurance for in the community. What is the solution? It’s ERP possibly in conjunction with medication. That’s the same for every type of OCD, no matter the theme. I often see someone ask for “tips” on how to “cope” with these thoughts. Again, the answer is always ERP. No amount of reassurance, checking, comparing, or researching online will work. You can read a thousand stories about people who came out, discovered they were queer later in life, or figured out they were in denial, and you will never, ever get the answer you’re looking for. If you’re not in treatment, get started. If you’re triggered, instead of seeking reassurance, use the SOS feature on the app or text your therapist. If NOCD is not available to you, use the link below to check the IOCDF directory and see if a specialist is available in your area. If you can’t access or afford a therapist, read the books below for credible information on self-guided treatment. Of course, we all empathize with your suffering and understand just how debilitating OCD is. But we want to move this community forward by creating a space that focuses on recovery rather than reassurance. “But once when I was 14 I saw an image online of someone making out and they were both the same sex and I got kind of aroused and I think I was into it and also I felt like maybe I had a crush on my best friend who is the same sex but it wasn’t like an actual crush but maybe I found them attractive I’m not totally sure and once I wore a pink shirt and my voice sounded feminine or masculine and now I’m thinking maybe that means I was suppressing something and and and” The answer is ERP. Books: https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346 https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-Personalized/dp/042527389X https://www.amazon.com/Get-Your-Mind-Into-Life/dp/1572244259 https://www.amazon.com/Needing-Know-Sure-Overcoming-Reassurance-ebook/dp/B07MMQ7HRK https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786 Finding Help: https://iocdf.org/ocd-finding-help/find-help/