I am so afraid that because people often treat me a little different because I choose not to cuss or say dirty jokes or anything that I will decide to go completely against my beliefs and do something wrong to prove I'm not a "goody two shoes" it makes me so sad and makes me anxious when I do homework or crafts and things I usually enjoy because those are things responsible or childish people do. I can't handle this. I want to do my hw and embroidery anr play board games with my family but then I think that those things aren't what college students do. Those things are lame or childish. I just want to live how I want without getting anxious. How do I get this to stop? Is this OCD? Anxiety? Am I changing my beleifs? 😞

Amen!

You're right! I keep feeling like maybe I will act out or try to prove myself and go against God and its all I can think about lately. I guess that is where its becoming an obsession of sorts :( I do feel better when I remind myself of who I am because of Jesus and that even if I do go against Him, there is always forgiveness. I just keep getting random thoughts or feelings of me deciding to be bad and they scare me!!

@anyonymous I know, it's so distressing, everything you're describing is OCD! Im sure a lot of what we tell you might not give you any peace, or sometimes not even make sense! But that's alright, we all start somewhere in our recovery. Understanding OCD helps, and that just takes time, how can we know something when we're just starting out? I say it is OCD, not to be a discouraging statement, but in that this is not your fault. And things will get better. 😊

@ButterflyStar Thank you :) it does help to identify it as OCD instead of just myself. I have dealt with many different themes and at some point they usually go away. I am hoping to find a counselor who can help me too so they won't come back so often

Yeah. Its not like any of my peers really are either. I go to a small private school and its not a party campus or anything. I guess its just a fear that I will change if people say something. I like playing my old DS and sometimes it makes me feel bad. I also like watching old disney shows I enjoyed as a kid but feel like I'm stuck in childhood or something. I just want to do this stuff without feeling bad :(

Yeah. I like those things but every time I play them I end up feeling anxious. I just want to enjoy them again :(

@anyonymous I'm sorry that you're dealing with the anxiety that follows it. I would just say to continue to do them cause the anxiety will lighten up. Its gonna be ok.

@Dre83 Okay. Its not like anyone is pressuring me saying its lame or anything. My school even has a board game club! I don't really know why it makes me feel anxious. I guess I then fear I will be judged or something and I will become bad to counteract it. I don't know its probably silly