There was a time in my life when the thought of not constantly distracting myself was terrifying. Being alone with my thoughts, without anything else to preoccupy me, seemed like an impossible task. It’s something I truly hadn’t done for most of my adult life. Today, I went to a local nature reserve in the woods and meditated alone. Not only was it not difficult to be with my thoughts, it was nice practicing being in the present moment as fully as I could. Although my mind did drift often, I didn’t interpret that as some failure to “do it right”. It just simply was my experience, and rather than dive headlong into a narrative about how that made me a failure, or weird, or not “normal”, I just noted it and brought myself back to the present over and over again. After all, even distraction and the monkey mind is an experience to observe mindfully. Now, I’m no special case nor is there anything remarkable about me. Like everyone else, I can be prone to some negative emotions and experiences (ruminating, judging, isolating, annoyance). And it isn’t like I’ve achieved some transcendent state of zen beyond the travails of life’s mundane and more serious concerns. I’ve just received the right treatment, with the right people, and had the good luck and fortune to be able to work through it with their help. I say this to hopefully convey how fundamentally your life can shift in a span of time you wouldn’t have conceived possible. Imagine a future where the thoughts don’t bother you. In fact, it doesn’t matter if they’re there or not because you’ve cultivated an entirely different relationship to your thoughts. You’ve been through the worst this disorder can throw at you, and not only did you survive, you had the audacity to demand more from your life. Not only can this possibility come true, it might even be likely to happen. Why can’t it be you? Truly? Will a spike come sometime later in my life? Maybe. Will I have bad days? I’m sure. But I know now that nothing, even our deepest suffering, is never forever. And with the right help, and the right focus, you can always begin again. If you’ve not started treatment and you’re hesitant or afraid, just know we’ve all been there. If you’re in treatment or have started and not seeing the progress you’d like, keep going. If you recovered but became complacent in your equanimity, then refocus on living a life of wellness. Most of all, wherever you are on the journey, know that every present moment is a fresh start. Maybe your moment won’t be alone in the woods with your thoughts. It might be something else. But that moment is waiting on you.