I'm really confused about what ERP actually is. I've read that it's all about facing your intrusive thoughts & not doing the compulsions, but then I also hear it's about more than that, like eating off a toilet seat, or even licking a toilet seat. So I guess my question is if ERP is really about letting my intrusive thoughts be there and not reacting to them, whats the point of doing far-out-there exposures that would bother be OCD or no OCD. I could lick toilets, eat from them, roll around in dumpsters, make things opposite from the way I want them all day, but I'm still not going to like doing those things. It's weird because the description of ERP seems to contradict things when it's actually put into practice.

It’s not to get you to “like” those things or be comfortable. It’s to get you to be comfortable with discomfort and knowing you can handle it.

@charleejadeg Then eventually the anixety will subside. It’s exactly why people with harm OCD keep knives in their house or next to them.

Okay, but where do you draw the line? That's what's confusing me. For example I have intrusive thoughts about losing my wallet when I go out & I'll check my pocket/around me to make sure my wallet is still there. So for exposure therapy I go to extremes and throw my wallet away? That doesn't make sense. Also, isn't it about uncertainty, maybe I did drop my wallet, maybe I didn't, but I'm not going to check. This is what I mean by things contradicting each other. Are intrusive thoughts really just intrusive thoughts or reality?

@feelinghopeless23 I don’t see where the contradiction is. Intrusive thoughts are just thoughts. Like literally just thoughts. For exposure therapy about your wallet, it would be about not doing a compulsion, like checking. Exposure therapy isn’t about having your fears happen to get over it , it’s about accepting the uncertainty of them. That you don’t know if fears could come true or not. For me, ERP would be going outside on a walk at night, I could have a panic attack, I also could just be chill. But I accept the uncertainty, and the possibility of it happening and I still go on a walk.

@feelinghopeless23 I mean you draw the line like any other person would with their actions. Why would you throw your wallet away? If the fear is losing it and not knowing. Because then you’d be certain that you lost your wallet.

@charleejadeg Then there is no uncertainty. It’s really simple.

@charleejadeg Yeah, I agree. I personally don't have contamination fears, but I would draw the line at licking a public toilet seat on regular basis. Some of the extreme exposures are beyond me I guess. I get facing the intrusive thought and not doing the compulsion, but then to go beyond that would start to make me feel not like myself & that's where I get confused.

@feelinghopeless23 Yeah I totally get that. I personally never would want to do that but for people who have it, it’s important. And they don’t do it regularly LOL! They just do it to get over the fear. Then it’s one and done :3

@charleejadeg Well not one and done but i mean once they get rid of the contamination fear.

@charleejadeg Certainly all therapists want clients to go further than what your average person would do but not all think you have to go to such extremes as licking a public toilet seat.

@Missy That’s true. But it does help.

@charleejadeg Agreed!

@Missy While I can sort of understand how it might help, I'm still confused about what ERP is. So each time I don't do a compulsion in response to an intrusive thought, is this ERP ?

@feelinghopeless23 Yes !! No compulsions and accepting anxiety. No ruminating or neutralizing thoughts. No nothing

@feelinghopeless23 ERP is one of those things that makes way more sense when you’re doing it. It is hard to wrap ones mind around it without experiencing it.

Yes! Someone might be asked to sit in a bathroom and eat a snack. Do most people do that? No but certainly people might use the bathroom as they’re eating a breakfast bar or something. So it pushes the boundaries somewhat but not to a ridiculous extent. That said, some therapists (Shala Nicely - an OCD therapist who has OCD herself) do push those boundaries. Ultimately, ERP requires creativity and flexibility and some pushing of boundaries.

@Missy Yes! And sometimes, it’s just *imaging* doing those things. Just imagining those types of scenarios was intense enough for me to be effective. (Combined with in-real-life exercises too.)

@sara235 Absolutely! It can be a great way to start!

No you just let the thought be there and don’t check at all.

@charleejadeg Okay, I'll try to do that. I keep comparing this money theme to a contamination theme and what one might do that's considered intense (licking a toilet) for example.

It might be more like putting your wallet in your pocket and finding a way to ensure you don’t check for it while you walk so you’re uncertain the wallet hasn’t fallen out. Maybe you place single dollar bills in all your pockets which could theoretically fall out. Maybe you carry something with your hands to make it harder to check to be sure.

@Missy That’s a great idea

@Missy Those are good exposure ideas too. I might try some of those. Thanks charleejadeg & Missy

@feelinghopeless23 Good luck 🤍

@feelinghopeless23 I think you're doing the same mistake as I have done many times, thinking about extreme exposures without being in therapy. You never start with this extreme overbending exercises and you dont need to know much about them before you have reached that level so to speak.

@Estrid Yes, I think you're right. I guess since I can't afford therapy right now, I wonder how far I need to go with this money worry, or if I just let the intrusive thoughts be there without reacting compulsively. It is hard to know how far to push myself and where to draw the line with "overcorrection" exposures.

@feelinghopeless23 with any theme really.

@feelinghopeless23 Yes, I definitely understand you. I want to figure out everything about where to draw the line...thats an obsession too. Have you tried to learn mindfulness? Its a great tool and helps you to be in the present moment and dont drift away too much into the future, and to make realistic plans for your own recovery.