Might be helpful for others: Hey! I think a big attributing factor to my OCD is my desire and longing for everything to be perfect ALL the time! I want my feelings to be perfect - joyful calm, content, confident. I want to be fit and healthy and active to the best. I want others around me to be kind, considerate, patient, joyful, calming towards me. I want plans to go swiftly and in line with what I'm aware of. But this isn't real life. I'm searching for something that is impossible to attain. Impossible: not able to be done or happen; absurd or unreasonable. I need to learn to sit with discomfort and the not so great parts of life. Sometimes it reminds me of that film Click if you have seen it? I kinda want to be like Adam Sandler who just clicks with his special remote through anything he doesn't want to do. I would zoom past tears, anger, sadness, illnesses, hopelessness, other people irritating me, disappointments. I would just tune in for the awesome joyful parts of life. But just like the movie shows at the end, I realised if you zoom past all these other parts, you miss out on a HUGE part of life. Suffering is part of life! I guess it's what makes joyful feelings, physical health and feelings of content that much more sweeter. I need to continue my journey with ERP sitting with distressing and uncomfortable feelings, and correcting my association to events and my thoughts. I hope to become better at accepting suffering in my life. Hopefully something is helpful here, and if anything, it's a movie recommendation 🤣😁 💜

Yes, amen!

Amen. And that I also get these thoughts, I feel very guilty for things like how much food we have - I'm never hungry in my house, guilty for even a warm house and bed, because others are in poverty. I will feel guilty for even a meal out with the family because others can do it. I guess this is an intrusive feeling or something?

@ButterflyStar I have had that too. I will think of how I shouldn't buy myself nice shoes or something because I already have shoes and I could get a pair of cheap shoes and donate the rest or something. I dont know if its OCD or just me not being selfish but I have almost cried before making decisions like this and feeling selfish

@anyonymous Oh my gosh ME TOO!!!! THIS IS ME!! 🤣🤣I think it is because I get so so upset and distressed just trying to make the decision. Like I will always try pick the cheapest t-shirt or I will actually barely shop. My mum bought me £80 of new clothes because I needed some jeans and a new coat and I felt guilty so much for a few days, repenting and yet then trying to say thank you to Jesus too for blessing me. But still feeling so guilty. I do this with every transaction. Always trying to let go of what I don't truly need and always trying to do it the cheapest way, in fear of being materialistic or worldly..

@anyonymous I barely buy things because I feel like this..

@ButterflyStar Yes! I also have felt terrible because I have been selling stuff from the thrift store because it helps me raise money for college and it helps keep waste out of landfills, etc. but it makes me feel like I'm taking away from homeless or something. But there is literally so much stuff and I am buying it and putting in work to sell it! Ugh! And with the buying things I felt supet bad the other day because my sister and mom and me went shopping and I said something about thinking we were going to get stuff instead of just browse and I was joking but my mom thought I was serious and I think I made her feel bad. She then bought me a dress I really liked and now I will feel bad wearing the dress. My mind went "you are selfish, you are old enough to buy your own clothes, you have tons of nice clothes" etc. I've been thinking if returning the dress all week

@anyonymous I'm so sorry you're going though that too. I genuinely feel the same - like that is me!! I have thought about selling thrifted things but worrying that I'm somehow being greedy for money towards the Lord and not happy enough with what I have. But, now that you saying it, with myself and the OCD detached, I totally see that you are just simply selling this for your college! Keep selling that's wonderful! I totally totally relate to the last part, that is so me. Maybe in time we can tackle this with ERP with our therapists.

@ButterflyStar Yes. I think its fun to sell the clothes and helpful to the earth and I spend a lot of time finding them but then feel guilty and think "that must be the Lord telling me its wrong" 😔 I'm just glad for this community because younger me thought I was alone and now I know I'm not

@anyonymous Yes definitely keep doing it, it's a great idea! I know me too for real, I've felt so alone for many years but it helps. And I believe the Lord helps me talk to others like you and a few others who we especially understand certain themes.

@ButterflyStar Yes! Me too! I am so thankful for anyone I can help on here who is experiencing something similar especially the similar themes as I am. And I always love to see what you have to say as well because I feel like we have had a similar experience

@anyonymous Me too! Straight back at you! Thank you so much.

For real! Lol

Hey! Sorry just saw the notification I was cooking. Yes I am here 😊

@ButterflyStar No problem :) I'm just struggling today because of music. I usually listen to worship music or clean secular music but I saw on Spotify how a lot of my Christian friends are listening to explicit songs and stuff and it just made me anxious that I would too or that I needed to. I'm trying not to judge them I guess it just sort of triggered my religious obsession obviously it's between them and God if they listen to those songs it just made me anxious (and obviously no hate if you listen to these sorts of songs I just thought maybe you could help me since you have often had similar experiences to me with religious OCD).

@anyonymous Hey! I'm always so glad to hear from you and I continue to pray for you. I believe God is so good to lead us to His other children to help us. Yes I totally understand! I too am like this.. So much. While I don't have an answer for this because I'm also like this, and I know it's OCD, hopefully something can help you 😊. I spiral into the attention grabbing thoughts like: 'But secular and explicit songs ruin your heart and how you see the world' 'Does God not care about other people listening to these songs?' 'are those people truly saved if they don't care about the type of music they listen to?' 'what does a Jesus think about that?' and I will keep trying to figure it out, just getting more and more distressed. Then the secondary thoughts are 'oh my gosh I'm an awful judgmental person judging others on their music, this is terrible, why do I even CARE about this!! I'm such a terrible sinner, I'm so sorry Jesus please forgive me.' Thus the snowball effect is building more and more of OCD. Because all of those thoughts are alarming for me. While I'm not out of the woods myself on this area, I would say, this is really hard right now but with ERP and **time** these topics won't be so alarming for you. We will be able to have a balanced opinion on such topics- an opinion that honours God but is without the lies of OCD. This takes time. It's okay if we are not there right now, it's time will come 😊. Things are going to get better!!! There will be a time and time again when you will look back and say "WOW I am totally different!! I never thought this could get better but they have, God helped me!!" ❤️

@anyonymous Ooo another thing I just thought of, eventually when you start ERP, this might be a good one to start with. If it was on a scale of 0-10 of how much this is distressing for you, if the answer is under 5, it might be a good place your therapist will start with. And they will have to lead you in really gently to ERP, because that's the only way it works. We can't start tackling the most harrowing distressing thoughts or else it won't work 😂😅.. I know the Lord will surely guide you to the right person to help you with this! I had to wait 1 year and 10 months for my therapist (I live in the UK) but it really was worth the wait. Because I can see God hand picked her out for me, even though she's not a Christian! She's the best and I am praying for God to give you the best for YOU!

@ButterflyStar Thank you! It always helps to know I'm not alone and that someone gets me! I often talk to my mom about this and while she is compassionate she doesn't fully understand because she hasn't experienced it. She did say maybe I can switch counselors to someone more focused on ocd next month (I'm in counseling but she is more of a general therapist). I can't wait until I can feel free from all of this but until then I will keep praying and leaning on God in this. I pray for you too and I hope that wr can both overcome this in time :)

@anyonymous Yes it's really hard.. Its hard because people don't understand just how tormenting it is. How distressing the notion of these thoughts are. But I am so so glad you have a compassionate mother ❤️. Me too.. Thank you so much, you encourage me too just knowing i am not alone