What would my life look like without OCD? ... OCD takes up so much of my time, energy, and has done so for years. I cant begin to imagine life without it. In some ways OCD is like a coping mechanism. As long as I keep doing my compulsions and obsessing I dont have to deal with the trauma of my childhood and with figuring out who I am or what I like. I have been sick since I was 12 or earlier. Now Im 29. I dont know who I am without this. I dont know what my dreams are. What I enjoy. I avoid almost everything. Im scared theres no way back to leading a normal life. Besides the obsession that "I will never feel better, and this will last for ever", I truly wonder, is it possible to create an adult life in a way from "scratch". I have no social network, no interests... I hope so. I an hopeful and grateful for finally starting to get help, and for SoMe who brought me resources to realize Ive been maltreated for years! Grateful for the courage to confront my psychologist with his lack of competence on the area.

Thank you. I am sorry too, and sadly quite bitter. Im not seeing an OCD specialist yet, but the request to be seen by one was sent on thursday! Im waiting for a letter with an appointment where they'll consider if I fit their criteria. Praying and hoping Ill finally get proper help. And have started to systematically work on some exposures on my own. Thank you for the wellwishes! I just hope this is my chance to finally get a life that isnt controlled by illness!

@asdfghj I will be praying for you too. I have done erp on my own for 2.5 months now and I have got quite better. I still have hard days. Today is one. But we can both get better. And one day this will be a distant past for us. Ocd is horrible. My heart breaks for you and myself too. But we are stronger than ocd. We can overcome it.

@Sunflower 1234 I am 34. I have had ocd since I was 22. It can be a crippling disease. My world has got smaller because of ocd mostly my social life. But I am slowly taking back my life from ocd.

@Sunflower 1234 Im happy to read things are getting better for you. I feel this strange sensation in my belly thinking of this. Ive been severly mentally ill, depressed and nearly psychotic from all the stress, and everyone thought those were my main problems. But OCD lay underneath. And now to think maybe maybe I can become free and not live in a thought prison, it makes my belly tingle of anticipation. Im praying for you too. Way to go fighting your way out of it. We are strong!

@asdfghj Thank you for your prayers. If you have a hard day and need encouragement let me know. Recovery is hard work but it is worth it.

@Sunflower 1234 Social life definitely takes a hit when struggling for so long. Im just grateful my family havent given up on me entirely, like so many others. I dont think people realise how completely sad it is to see your life small because of this illness. I cant make myself dinner because it triggers me so bad. Avoidance all the way. Thank you for sharing how it is for you.