- Username
- b2192
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Just sit with it. Use the following: I am walking from my home to the supermarket and see (insert trigger). I start to get a strange feeling in my chest and stomach and groinal responses. Was I just attracted to (insert trigger). Immediately, I start trying out to figure out what I was feeling, going over the scenario in my head countless times, checking for information online, despairing when I find something that seems to confirm the worst and feeling relief when I find something that assuages my fears (temporarily). Back track a little. I didn’t need to do any of that. I am obsessing and, regardless of whether or not I have OCD, that chain of thought is dysfunctional. Next time I see (insert trigger), I might get an intrusive thought and might even start analyzing, but I can stop myself and sit with the anxiety of not knowing for sure in that moment so I can get back to living my life.
This! ^^^^ (your description was perfect)
Hey b2192, I am so sorry you are going through this. This is the first story I have heard with this theme specifically, but I wouldn’t worry. Most soocd sufferers will describe almost identical things for their themes, including myself. Definitely stop checking the videos (1) that’s a good way to get tracked online and (2) the checking will just make it worse long term. Just sit with the thoughts and anxiety. Let them be there without reacting and the anxiety will dissipate. Best of luck. Lmk if you have any questions.
I dont actually watch porn I just watch videos that I can find on youtube etc that show dogs sniffing crutches etc I was tempted to view more but stopped myself last minute. I hate that I keep questioning myself
crotches*
You have no need to answer these questions at the moment (I know it feels like it, but the urgency will continue to drive the OCD).
When you feel anxiety like you need to check or figure out how you feel about something right at that moment, that is a compulsion. You can say, I will not avoid the intrusive thoughts, but I also will not feed into the compulsion by trying to analyze the thoughts.
I also suffer from zOCD. (or bestiality ocd) and it's horrible. I have a false memory that my dog sniffed my crotch (while I was fully clothed and I let her). It's normal to feel aroused. You are seeing sexual things and you will feel aroused no matter what. Don't check the videos. It will make you feel worse afterwards. And they won't tell you any truth. They just lie and lie. The worse part is if you have false memories they can be like "what if you have done this in the past and you can't remember".
Thankyou this was really helpful, sometimes I know I should ignore my urge to check but it's like I almost enjoy sitting researching or maybe that's the compulsion that feels that way. I do have real event ocd in which I have done things which has took me a while to get over so the similar videos I am drawn to I think maybe is me trying to convince my self that I no longer like these things but it only makes me worse as I end up feeling arousal.
My OCD has swapped around in the past- primarily focused on HOCD and then I just accepted maybe I was attracted to both men and women, (men primarily, women only sexually occasionally) after I had sex with a girl - I didn’t know at the time it was OCD - and now it has focused on beastiality. I’m terrified. I hate HATE to admit this but when I was younger I let a dog lick my private area, and ever since I can’t stop thinking maybe that was because I wanted it? Even though I know deep down it was just sexual curiosity - the actual act of intimacy and not the animal, but now I get scared. In the past few years I have seen images and checked my groinal response, sometimes I can get really aroused and I feel disgusting. I love animals, I would never want to hurt them in anyway, I don’t know whether I just have a fixation on the idea of having sex that is intense - sort of like a ‘I need you now’ thing - as comes with the term ‘doggy style’ but then this just makes me think maybe it’s all rooted down to animals? I’m so honestly terrified I feel like the government will arrest me based on searches of laws and me trying to figure out if I’m attracted to animals going on forums etc. I once read an erotic literature page and it had a beastiality section, I looked at it and was repulsed but again my groinal response was different. I feel so guilty, but I can’t tell if this is my OCD or if I am actually attracted to animals. I would NEVER have sex with one, the idea repulses me, but somehow I can get aroused by the stories (not particularly the images) and I’m so stressed and upset I don’t know what to do I’m too scared to tell my therapist incase they lock me up for it and it hinders my future jobs :(
I dont know if this is my OCD or if I'm being realistic I discussed on here about my past in letting a dog do things to me which I shouldnt like lick me down below, I was an adult at the time. I have been obsessively looking up Wether I will be reported but cant find I definite answer. Had anyone any experience of wether this will be reported ? I'm worried this makes me a sex offender.
My zoophilia ocd is starting to be debilitating. I feel like just crying in bed I feel so guilty and terrible. I can’t even pet my dogs or give them a tummy rub without thinking I must have some sort of messed up motive or am somehow violating them. If I try to pick them up and accidentally touch them near their privates I feel disgusting like I must have done it on purpose. I love my dogs they are so sweet and I wouldn’t do anything to hurt them but these thoughts are ruining my life. Advice please!!
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