- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Just sit with it. Use the following: I am walking from my home to the supermarket and see (insert trigger). I start to get a strange feeling in my chest and stomach and groinal responses. Was I just attracted to (insert trigger). Immediately, I start trying out to figure out what I was feeling, going over the scenario in my head countless times, checking for information online, despairing when I find something that seems to confirm the worst and feeling relief when I find something that assuages my fears (temporarily). Back track a little. I didn’t need to do any of that. I am obsessing and, regardless of whether or not I have OCD, that chain of thought is dysfunctional. Next time I see (insert trigger), I might get an intrusive thought and might even start analyzing, but I can stop myself and sit with the anxiety of not knowing for sure in that moment so I can get back to living my life.
- Date posted
- 4y
This! ^^^^ (your description was perfect)
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey b2192, I am so sorry you are going through this. This is the first story I have heard with this theme specifically, but I wouldn’t worry. Most soocd sufferers will describe almost identical things for their themes, including myself. Definitely stop checking the videos (1) that’s a good way to get tracked online and (2) the checking will just make it worse long term. Just sit with the thoughts and anxiety. Let them be there without reacting and the anxiety will dissipate. Best of luck. Lmk if you have any questions.
- Date posted
- 4y
I dont actually watch porn I just watch videos that I can find on youtube etc that show dogs sniffing crutches etc I was tempted to view more but stopped myself last minute. I hate that I keep questioning myself
- Date posted
- 4y
crotches*
- Date posted
- 4y
You have no need to answer these questions at the moment (I know it feels like it, but the urgency will continue to drive the OCD).
- Date posted
- 4y
When you feel anxiety like you need to check or figure out how you feel about something right at that moment, that is a compulsion. You can say, I will not avoid the intrusive thoughts, but I also will not feed into the compulsion by trying to analyze the thoughts.
- Date posted
- 4y
I also suffer from zOCD. (or bestiality ocd) and it's horrible. I have a false memory that my dog sniffed my crotch (while I was fully clothed and I let her). It's normal to feel aroused. You are seeing sexual things and you will feel aroused no matter what. Don't check the videos. It will make you feel worse afterwards. And they won't tell you any truth. They just lie and lie. The worse part is if you have false memories they can be like "what if you have done this in the past and you can't remember".
- Date posted
- 4y
Thankyou this was really helpful, sometimes I know I should ignore my urge to check but it's like I almost enjoy sitting researching or maybe that's the compulsion that feels that way. I do have real event ocd in which I have done things which has took me a while to get over so the similar videos I am drawn to I think maybe is me trying to convince my self that I no longer like these things but it only makes me worse as I end up feeling arousal.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I don’t know if my hormones are extra wild this month or what, but I have been having so many POCD thoughts lately. It feels like I enjoy them in the moment, and then a few seconds later, I get this tiny flicker of *wait I don’t think I actually want to enjoy that.* It’s scaring me a lot. I was watching adult videos for the first time in about a year, since I had been avoiding them because of my OCD. I know they are not good for anyone, but I felt like i could (ironically it felt like a tiny win that my OCD had calmed down enough). But while watching, I had like 3 separate POCD thoughts. And it felt like I liked them. Like genuinely *liked* them. I don’t know if maybe my body was mixing up physical pleasure and mental pleasure, and then my brain inserted those not okay thoughts into the situation, which got tangled up with the pleasure responses I felt mentally and physically. It is all really confusing. I just feel so scared. I know OCD thoughts are supposed to feel real, and that once you get desensitized to the anxiety, they lose their power. But this feels like I am *actually enjoying* the thoughts, and that makes me want to cry. I’m scared that I actually like these thoughts when I’m really aroused :( Please help.
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- POCD
- Date posted
- 19w
I posted about this a couple days ago, about a dog chewing a ball while laying in my lap and it was giving me a physical sensation down there that technically felt good because it was right there. I keep replaying the moment in my head as a compulsion and trying to figure it out and I won’t stop until it feels right. I feel like I would know 100% if I indulged in it and let it feel good so I shouldn’t even be questioning if I did do that bc idk if I did. I remember looking down at the dog and realizing that everytime he bit the ball and moved his forward is when it would feel good for me. And while I was noticing that, I can’t help but think back, was that me just recognizing or allowing it to happen or both??? What does that say about me if I allowed myself to indulge in the feeling.
- Date posted
- 10w
(Possible TW; mentions of taboo sexual topics.) Hi, I (22M), have been suffering with OCD for many years now since I was a kid, and I suffer with POCD in particular as one of my main themes. On top of that, since I was young I've also had quite an excessive use of porn, which led to me to watching or reading quite a lot of different taboo porn/hentai and erotica. I engaged with a lot incest content, and when I was younger and going through puberty, I (unfortunately) even looked at a lot of animal hentai/erotica too (most of it being fake obviously, but I did seem some real stuff too which also aroused me. This is another main theme of my OCD, and I should stress that I very much regret, and I haven't interacted with such content for many years, nor have I felt the desire to, and the fact that I ever did makes me feel very disgusted and ashamed of myself). Now, groinal responses are one of the parts which I struggle with most, mainly because the feel incredibly real. Often times, my brain will create these very graphic and detailed sexual thoughts, surrounding whatever taboo theme, (it doesn't matter really; I struggle with pretty much all kinds of themes you can think of lol) and a lot of the times, I try and let the thoughts just pass without freaking out or reacting to them, but it feels like the longer I allow the thoughts to sit in my mind, the higher chance I have of becoming "aroused". For instance, if I have a sexual thought about a close family member, and simply let it happen, it feels like my brain focuses on the taboo aspect of it and tries to make the thoughts seem more detailed, or "erotic", and it causes an intense erection, very similar to how it feels when I look at any kind of "kinky" or taboo porn. Obviously this makes me worry even more, because it makes it feel even more real which only makes me question myself even more. It's like there's a disconnect between my brain and my body, because no matter how horrified of these thoughts I am, and how much I want to avoid any of those topics, my body feels like it's on a different page altogether, and becomes aroused, and sometimes even more intensely than it is with "regular" arousal. Another example is through my years of excessive porn use, I looked at a lot of (again, fictional) incest porn, a lot of which was centered around mother-son relationships. In all honesty, I probably do have a bit of an incest kink, but only between people who AREN'T my real family. I don't fantasise about my own family members, instead I usually just imagine made up, fictional characters. I'm so worried that now I've created an association within my brain between that topic and arousal, because of two reaons; One, I even experience arousal when I see people recalling real events of incest (I should mention that through the posts I've seen, it was all between consenting adults. Not that it makes it necessarily much better, but I thought I should clarify). Even though it seems to arouse me, at least physically, I try to do my best to avoid such content because it just feels wrong given that it's real. Additionally, my brain will throw intrusive thoughts at me of my own real mother, and it feels like it causes this same "taboo arousal" that the porn itself does. I do not want to be aroused or attracted by mother in any way, so this in particular is quite bothersome for me. So my question is, is it possible that over the years of watching different kinds of porn, I've trained my brain to become aroused by "forbiddeness" or taboo aspect, and THAT'S why I feel physical arousal from my intrusive thoughts? It feels like in my mind it makes sense, because as I mentioned before my body seems to react to ANY kind of sexual taboo, even ones I never had any interest in at all (enter POCD). But at the same time, my mind is trying to convince me that I'm just lying to myself to make myself feel better lol. I'm trying to look for reassurance, but I would like to know if anyone has any information on this kind of thing. I'm not currently in therapy as right now I simply don't have the funds for it, but I am working on finding a therapist as soon as possible. I apologise for the long post, and thank you all for any help. :)
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