I’m so nervous... I have a psychiatrist appointment in a few days so I can start on meds. I’m fucking terrified. My hypochondria is through the roof but I really could use something to take the edge off my anxiety so I can focus on doing things. I haven’t even been vaccinated because of my hypochondria and because of my mothers constant fear mongering shit. Anything to do with modern medicine solutions she gets me to feel anxious about it and tries to say they do more harm than good and it fucks with my head since I’m already telling myself that shut 24/7 and to have someone else say it to you too and enforce the ideas... it makes me so fucking angry and upset. I want to take meds. I want to get vaccinated. Those are two things that are extremely difficult for me to do and I wish that they weren’t because they’re so simple.

They only way to overcome ocd is to do things that take you out your comfort zone. So what if your mom tells you stuff try to ignore and get out of your comfort zone if you wanna take the meds take them if you wanna get the shot get it. Ik super scary but it’ll help. Good luck on your journey!

I’ve been meaning to comment on some of you older, but still recent, posts. First off, I’m so proud of you for facing fears and seeing the doctor. I know after getting answers to some questions, you wound up with new ones. That’s a struggle with OCD. It’s good to make your list of questions and concerns, like physically write it out, and bring it with you. OCD will still add more after your visit is over, but that’s why you are fighting it on all these levels. Now for your current post: I can tell you I used to be stubborn about not wanting meds. It was before I knew I was OCD, but it was totally an OCD “rule” that I had to do it, namely fix myself, on my own and naturally. Well, I wound up with an autoimmune disease and HAVE to take a medication every day for the rest of my life. That really helped me get over the idea of meds being bad. I also finally understood and accepted what my mother said about things not giving me unfair advantage. I was already, naturally disadvantaged in certain ways, and meds or extra time on tests were just an attemp to level the playing field, not give me an edge. I’ve struggled through some meds that didn’t work for me, some that made me worse, and some that worked well but eventually weren’t worth other side effects. But I have meds I really like and have been on for years. I even tried seeing how I was without them in case I wanted to become pregnant (then learned they are now considered safe for pregnancy). Well, I survived fine without, but I actually felt less like myself without them than with them. So I chose to go back on them. Even when one finds the right ones, OCD meds don’t normally solve everything, but they can help along with therapy and other treatment. As for vaccines, I am in the extremely rare group that had an allergic reaction to a core one. YET I STILL WENT FOR MY BOOSTER! In the years between the doses, the vaccine is now made more safely and I didn’t have a second reaction. I don’t share this to scare you, rather the opposite. When I had that first dose, many things went wrong and it was scary in the bad kind of one in 10 million way. But it was still ok then; I was ok. And it’s less and less scary every time. It’s good to discuss your concerns with your doctor before you (both) decide what’s right for you. (And even if you now disagree with her, realize your mom’s decisions were what she thought was best for you at the time. As an adult, you and she have traded positions over being decisionmaker of your body.). Your OCD will naturally say, “Well, what if you’re the one in ten million?!” And then you answer it back, and you fight it by carrying on with your plan. Hope this was helpful. Always wishing you the best. So proud of you for taking these scary steps for yourself, your health, and your mental health. Good luck, strength, and puppy snuggles. 💜💪🏼🐶