My OCD started when my grandfather died when I was 16. I was traumatized. Nobody knew what OCD was in my family so it was extremely difficult. I was scared, still is because it can be consuming. It is the most difficult thing that I've experience to this day. The truth is I know, I know the intrusive thoughts, I know all about OCD but I just cant stop it. The intrusive thoughts are a bitch.

I’m a 20 yr old female, I think I’ve always had ocd but the symptoms didn’t become apparent to me until I was about 17. I feel like that’s where life went downhill for me. OCD attacks everything that is important to me, my sexuality, my morals, even my health. Sometimes I wish I could be a kid again and not have this vicious disease in my head constantly bullying me. But I know I will overcome it one day.

I’m 21M and i believe i’ve had ocd for a lot of my life. I started researching ocd when i was either 16 or 17 because my intrusive thoughts were starting to get really loud and wouldn’t leave me alone. And they are still loud but never louder than before. I never talked to anybody about this until i brought it up to my fiance a month ago because my stress level was at an all time high. I don’t think she really understands because i haven’t went into detail about all my thoughts. Just bits and pieces of it. Anyways, i’ve been stressing about my past intrusive thoughts. I’m concerned on why i wasn’t as stressed as i am today. I was still stressed and had anxiety but i’m guessing i handled it better then. Today though, i’m stressing constantly. Like i never knew this app existed, i never watched videos on this condition or there were different subtypes until now, or i think i didn’t know. I remember back then i would research and research about this and have mental rituals but that was it. Like i wasn’t so stressed back then. Now, i just feel like i’m sick all the time. I’m just scared that my past intrusive thoughts were my true desires. I know they ain’t but how can i tell my brain that? I just wished i would have known more about this back then. I absolutely hate this and i don’t wish this on anybody

Last year during April I started to experience groinal responses when I looked at kids. I was terrified of what it could mean and decided to attempt two weeks later. The very next day I had those responses I decided to attempt. I didn’t really have the courage to do so at that time but I started experiencing images about disturbing things done to kids and as days went by it got worse. April 16 was the last straw and I couldn’t take it anymore. I ended up in a mental hospital but before I ended up there I had searched up what I was experiencing. That’s when I started to understand that it was OCD. I felt relieved for a few moments until I felt the urge to get more information. I saw lots and lots of things and many comments saying that it wasn’t normal and that people who went through this were disgusting people who shouldn’t be allowed to roam free. That’s when my anxiety and fear became worse and I tried to get rid of it but nothing worked. I shook the entire time I was awake, I didn’t have motivation for anything anymore, I just felt so disgusting. In the end, I’m so glad I ended up in that mental hospital or else I wouldn’t be here with my friends and family. Thank you for reading my story, I’m so glad that I’m not alone