I really struggle to say no. I feel like I’m responsible for everyone’s happiness and safety and if I say no then they’ll be upset and might hurt themselves. I know how silly that sounds but I can’t help feeling this way. I’m exhausted and I need to put myself first- please help

First off - I’m sorry, I post here a lot. My thoughts are going to be scattered because I have the adhd/ocd/executive dysfunction wombo combo. Im so embarrassed I am THIS neurodivergent. I swear my brain couldn’t pick one struggle and settle with it. I’m not making these diagnoses quirky personality traits by any means, in fact, in this post im venting about how exhausting and embarassed I am living with a brain like this on the daily. I need to hear someone’s advice please. I love hearing everyone’s advice on posts because it’s so useful, and brings me back down to reality. Everyone on here gives advice so tastefully in a way where it doesn’t feed into the self reassurance compulsion, but it’s also been thorough and constructive enough where it’s reminded me to ground myself in a healthy way. I love seeing others helping others, it soothes me. This community has been so kind, and I’m so happy I found it. I wish I could ask more, but I have so many questions I think it’d drive everyone here crazy lol. I am doing erp therapy now, and it’s been teaching me so many amazing techniques. I’ve been making progress. However, I sometimes have my moments of vunerablity. I’ve been experiencing this especially now more than ever because I am going through a breakup. He did it through text after nearly 9 months together. I’d do anything for him and love him through anything, and he broke my heart when I least expected it. I’d make his bed for him multiple times, but I haven’t done that for myself in years. I’d sit with him for hours to watch and do anything he likes, but he’d never do the same and I’d never do the same for me. I’m also at fault because I was too scared to speak up so I let a lot of disrespect slide. Why did my ocd do that? Why does ocd make me people please even when I don’t want to? Why does OCD make me care so much about things that will never effect me (like wanting validation from a random person on the street and hoping they’ll think I’m pretty enough to look at), but then when it comes to my future or positive wellbeing (like focusing on college/doing well in classes/personal hygiene/health), forces me to not care/neglect myself and those needs? I don’t understand it. Ocd makes me think everything’s a setup or a trap. I can never believe that I am fine right where I want to be. Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I even think this much? I care and feel so deeply but it becomes unhealthy so fast because ocd makes me fixate and I stay there for a while. For some reason I let this breakup define my self worth. I let it topple into the ocd fear that I will never make it in life - that I won’t be successful, I’ll never get the career I want, the love I want, or the life I want. My OCD’s version of “logic” isn’t even logical. Yes, I understand how the breakup means feelings of low self worth which will then topple into feeling bad about other things. But why has my brain been wired to think this way? Why does it seem so easy for everyone else to function normally with life but not me? Honestly this is the first time in my life where I’m dedicated to focusing on myself and learning more about myself instead of others in my life and it’s a very odd and bizarre feeling. I’m excited of course, but I’m also scared. My ocd makes me ruminate like “what if I will never make the most of this life I’ve been given”, “what if I truly have no worth and the most I will ever be in other people’s lives is a background character”, “why do I care if I’m a background character or not? I should feel guilty and ignorant for assuming everyone will automatically like me”, “are people lying to me when they call me pretty, smart or kind?”, “I need to look and sound perfect in both pictures, videos and in real life. I will never be satisfied for accepting who I am now”, and a bunch of other annoying questions. But sometimes it’s like I just can’t take the reality for what it is but at the same time, but I also acknowledge that I know this is ocd talking. This is so, so difficult. Do I make any sense with what I’m saying? Can anyone help?

Hey everyone, I just wanted to share something I’ve been struggling with, especially around making decisions. It’s really hard for me to feel confident in the choices I make, even when I know what the right thing is. I constantly find myself needing validation from others—whether it’s about something small or something really important. For example, at my job, I might know exactly what I’m doing and have done it right a bunch of times, but I still feel the need to double-check with someone or ask if it’s okay. It’s like this fear kicks in, and I start imagining worst-case scenarios—like what if I mess up and someone gets hurt, and then I get blamed or even end up in jail or prison. I know that sounds extreme, but these thoughts just come automatically, and they feel so real in the moment. This has been going on for maybe a year or two now. Even outside of work, the same thing happens. Like recently, I’ve been trying to figure out a gym schedule—my girlfriend wants to go with me, and I’m trying to plan the times and make it all work. But instead of just choosing what works best for me, I overthink it. I go back and forth in my head, and I ask other people what they think, even though deep down I know this is something I should be deciding for myself. It’s my life, but I still need that reassurance from others, and I don’t really know why. It’s exhausting to always doubt myself and to feel like one wrong choice could lead to something terrible. I’m trying to work through it, but I just wanted to put it out there and see if anyone else deals with this or has advice. Thanks for reading.

I feel like if I spend time with anyone im always failing everyone else. A lot of people depend on me and want my time. I feel like I can't be enough and it makes me feel like I deserve to be alone. Does anyone ever feel like this?