Having a hard time here. 2018 has been a immensely tough year. I met the love of my life, but he bruised me in every possible ways. I have been under a lot of stress with school. I got pneumonia in September,2018. I was hospitalized. 2 days after I got released from the hospital, I got into a car wreck, probably because I was was way too medicated to drive, I was on high dosage of Prozac and Mirtazapine. My car was destroyed, luckily I was ok. I tried to date again. I cried during sex, I just seemed too depressed and like a wreck. Finally I met the sweetest guy in January, 2019. But bad things kept happening to me. Condom broke. I totally freaked out. I tried asking him all the details about his sexual history. He was kind but not that kind. Then he wouldn’t see me again because he can’t handle the ‘drama’. I would’ve gone to the emergency room to get Post-exposure prophylaxis if it were not for the bled off of money from previous pneumonia and car wreck emergency visits (I paid over $5000 for these unfortunate events). And now I’m seriously panicking about contracting hiv from the broken condom. It sucks. I’m barely hanging.

Also when you have those fears talk to us... I did that with a guy once and he told everyone I was a psycho because he didn’t believe ocd was real.

I have had the most supportive family in the last seven years with my obsessions. I just want to pay it forward.

I plan to get tested, but it was only a week ago. I need to wait at least another 3 weeks. Thank you for your reply, Anna. Hugs

Absolutely sweetie!

I went and got tested a month ago due to the same fears and the lady took blood. They can check an aids test in 20 minutes. For others like herpes, gonnorrhea and stuff takes a couple days because it goes to the lab. Talk about your fears to your gynecologist or Pcp. They are more willing to help if they know your struggling with ocd and can’t help the obsessions.

take 1 thing at a time. - fix pnemonea. - get a car. - finish education. - get a job. - then get a bf. doing multiple things together in life...will cause unnecessary stress.

Yes thank you for the info Anna. I was only exposed 6 days ago. In order to get tested for hiv1/2 antigen/antibody, i will have to wait another 2-3 weeks, otherwise the result would not be accurate. I guess it’s just the waiting. It’s torture :(

Thanks himz333, pneumonia fixed 3 months ago!! I haven’t been driving since then, I have PTSD from it, and have been dreaming about it often. Education finished, I’ve graduated. Have a job lined up. Just the anxiety from this recent exposure, it’s killing me.

I’m sorry your going through the mind torture Shannon it’s awful but if I was a betting woman I truly believe you are just fine.

Thank you Anna, I need to hear this :)

I don’t have family in the states tho. I’m going back home and I don’t want my bad mental states to ruin the time of the reunion. I try. I have been so lonely, but I do find one thing very helpful, which is stand up comedy. I watch Trevor Noah a lot. I hope whenever you feel distressed or upset you have the means to feel better. I hope we can all walk away from this living hell soon.

I always watch “best fails of the year on YouTube” they are hysterical! You can pick Any year you want.

How old are you girl?

I’m 25 :) You?

29 girl... I started ocd intensive therapy this week because I have been miserable in my 20s and I wanna be happy in my 30s. I don’t want to live in constant fear anymore it’s ruined so much of my life

Anna, I can definitely relate. You meant cognitive behavioral therapy? I have been wanting to do it but I just need to get to a stable phase of my life to do it. I’m in limbo and I’m glad to hear you are taking serious action here.

Girl the severity of my ocd started at age 25... please get the help now if you’re in limbo.. I chose the medication route and look where I am today. I take 8 pills a day to help and Ocd still wins. Take action while you’re young and understand ocd.