does medication help with stopping ruminating?

medication never helped at all?

@ocdm.7 not at all

@holley dangit i’m sorry. which ones did you try?

@ocdm.7 lexapro, abilify, seraquel, luvox, trazadone, zoloft

@holley do you know why they didn’t work?

@ocdm.7 they made me feel so weird and numb. they didn’t help with my thoughts at all

@holley i’m sorry :/. i saw you have religious ocd and i do too. what is yours like if you don’t mind sharing?

@ocdm.7 i have intrusive thoughts about God not wanting me with my boyfriend:/ it started after i talked to these women at church and they told me to break up with him because we have sex. and i have bpd so we argue a LOT and our relationship has been rocky. they don’t understand what it’s like having a mental illness and being in a relationship so of course they’re going to go off a religious perspective. we don’t have sex that often maybe once every 2-3 weeks now. we used to do it a lot. my relationship with Jesus is not a close one. but as far as the thoughts i was certain that it was God telling me. i obsess over it but i don’t think it’s God. God doesn’t speak to people in that way.

@holley this is literally mine completely is having sex before marriage. how are you getting through it?

@ocdm.7 well i’m not that close to God especially after talking to those women. and the thoughts are in and out currently but they don’t give me anxiety as much. but we had sex yesterday and i didn’t feel guilt or shame (maybe a little) but i just stopped looking up stuff and i’m going to worry more about my relationship with God once i receive my diagnosis because right now everything is so black and white.

@holley that’s good progress!! i’m trying to move onto that. when are you receiving diagnosis?

@ocdm.7 i’m having a full psyc evaluation on november 24 i won’t know until late december

@holley well that’s good. i’m sorry you’re dealing with this i definitely understand it. i’m trying to just move past it but can’t

@ocdm.7 yes it’s very difficult just know it’s not God.

@holley i know! i know that he loves us and forgives us of all of our sins. i also get influenced by what other christians say so that’s not good for me

@ocdm.7 omg same. i just stopped caring about what they say.

@holley omg how did you do that? it still bothers me.

@ocdm.7 you just have to. they aren’t God. so why care what they say? what’s your story if you don’t mind telling

@holley that’s very true

@holley are you just worried about sinning in general?

@ocdm.7 for some reason i’m not even worried about that rn. i just feel i’m nkt as close to God anymore. and it’s because of my ocd.

@holley ah. how did you get over that? i’m so sorry that seriously sucks

@ocdm.7 it’s a good thing that you’re worried about sinning. you don’t want that to go away ever

@holley but when it becomes an obsession that’s when you need to worry

@holley that’s the problem lol i’m constantly thinking about it. i’ve always been worried about sinning and have been a good person like the average person but lately it’s been an obsession.