MrKo264
- Date posted
- 4y
b_b_
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah, I have intrusive racist thoughts, like horrible things that dont reflect what I believe. They just pop up and I hate it.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
yes
MrKo264MrKo264
- Date posted
- 4y
How do you deal with that
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
@MrKo264 I honestly didn’t know it was OCD when I was dealing with it. By the time I got my diagnosis I was dealing with other themes that bothered me more than that one. I did lose a bunch of sleep over it because I wanted to be the most perfect allie that I could be. One fact that helped me get through it: the anti-racism movement is not about you or me, it’s about those being affected by it! We have implicit biases and that’s normal. The thing about being committed to anti-racism is that you don’t have to be perfect. Its a space where you can admit that you have flaws but you’re willing to fix them! There is no perfect answer to answering ending racism. Im studying American politics in school as well as politics of other countries and no one has the answer. It is important to realize we just have to try our best and move where the science takes us and recognize we don’t know all!
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous Im a junior in college and looking to go in to grad schools in order to find answers and to know everhthing lol but at the same time i’m accepting that i’m not perfect and that i’ll never know everything!
🌵 🌵
- Date posted
- 4y
it’s my main theme and it fucking sucks. literally my best friend is half african american so it’s kinda wrecked my life
MrKo264MrKo264
- Date posted
- 4y
I have people I work with that are, I have friends, my last girlfriend was and so on.(I broke up with her for other reasons)
ButterflyStarButterflyStar
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes me!!
MrKo264MrKo264
- Date posted
- 4y
Wbu? How do you deal with it?
ButterflyStarButterflyStar
- Date posted
- 4y
You have to overcome it by hierarchy ERP Are you in therapy? Because having a therapist to help you scale the ERP. For me, I'm at the very start of going up the hierarchy ladder and my therapist has me writing down thought records to when I get intrusive thoughts about being racist. Eg I see someone of a different race, and I worry deep down I'm a racist, so my compulsion is to be extra extra nice to the person, all the while worrying deep down I might be somehow a racist. You can see how illogical OCD is lol but feels so real because of the thoughts 😔 I don't know if my theme is the same as yours but mine is that I worry somehow deep down I might be a racist, which is absolutely something I do NOT want to be.
MrKo264MrKo264
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes, that's definitely the same theme. Although I know inside I know I'm not racist, I have these intrusive thoughts that are racist and it's hard sometimes to look at people of color straight and I overcompensate as well...
ButterflyStarButterflyStar
- Date posted
- 4y
@MrKo264 I know I'm the same!! =(( With ERP this can get better and even dissappear =)
MrKo264MrKo264
- Date posted
- 4y
Also I have been going to therapy for several months about this and have made progress, but sometimes I still have trouble with it
JmoincaliJmoincali
- Date posted
- 4y
Your last gf was black and you obsessively think racist thoughts?
MrKo264MrKo264
- Date posted
- 4y
Ya. I'm just afraid of being racist
MrKo264MrKo264
- Date posted
- 4y
It was different with her than other black people. I was with her before those thoughts started and was comfortable around her
JmoincaliJmoincali
- Date posted
- 4y
I have the same about so many things. Harm ocd, sexual orientation, porn... OCD is a vicious disease
JmoincaliJmoincali
- Date posted
- 4y
How so?
MrKo264MrKo264
- Date posted
- 4y
I get racist thoughts in my head, even though I'm against it, and when I see someone who's black I'm afraid I'm looking at them bad
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