Hey guys just what want your opinion on something: is it just me or is it pretty offensive to hear "you've been having a bad time this year? Really? Your life seems to be going great right now". This person doesn't know I have OCD, but having gone through one of the worst attacks of my life this year, I lost my shit and kind of thought to myself, like how can this person just make an assumption like that. People are complicated and our lives are not as great as they appear on the surface. Do you just go around assuming everyones life is great and simple except yours? Sorry, sort of needed to vent but also want to know your thoughts.

We all assume other people have it easier. It’s literally a pity party because we are in the hole. Think of how many times you’ve put on a smile when you were in pain inside. Other people have probably done the same. Maybe others have felt even worse and put a smile on. We never will know. I’m sorry that someone was so insensitive to you. Some people just don’t understand

@sheeby Thanks sheeby. So true about everything you said. It's been several months now and I'm still resentful, because it was my own sister. Like, I can understand if I was some random person, but I'm her brother. I don't expect her to read my mind or somehow know what my struggle is, but at least have the sensitivity of assuming that my life isn't as pretty as it might appear to her. Family have to look out for each other and be ready to help, not assume everyone has it better than us. Thanks for your input and for listening.

@NickC Yeah I totally get that. My family also sometimes doesn’t understand how itis. It’s hard. I hope you can feel better somehow :)

Btw just read that it was your sister and it got me thinking of an altercation I had with my sister earlier this fall. I live in a city with a lot more covid cases then her city. I live alone, while she lives with her family. She was so upset about my city and how people didnt take it seriously and she was yelling about how we all should stay inside etc etc. Having been isolating a lot and my OCD being so bad and not getting any understanding for wanting to socialize just a little to stay sane I was annoyed. How couldnt she see I was worse off by living completely alone having nothing to go outside for etc. When she was complaining about something small a few weeks later I wanted to meet her the same way. But I figured Id take the high road, and tried hard to empathize. And it turned out she has been struggling a lot more than I thought and after some support and being listened to and encouraged and understood that she was going nuts home alone with a baby while her husband etc, after me being compassionate to her a few weeks later she suddenly sent me a care package and said "it must be terrible being all alone in x-city". My point. Sometimes people dont see our hurt because they have hurt of their own blocking their view. I dont know your sister but maybe she needed the same compassion you were looking for?

@asdfghj Thanks asdfghj. Please tell me to shut up if I'm just rambling lol. I see what you mean, but I think what really irked me was how casually and nonchalantly someone can just assume the other person doesn't need compassion when they need it themselves. You maybe right about her wanting it, in fact I'm sure she needs support. She has contamination OCD, which, at least to a certain degree, I can understand as someone who has Pure O with sexual themes (she doesn't know this about me). However, she has the luxury of openly admitting how she has a problem with contamination, whereas I've had to live in silence for most of my adolescence and adulthood with mainly POCD among other more "discussable" themes. It drove me nuts and really hurt that someone can adopt that worldview and tell me "everything looks great" when I know how hard this illness can be, but I've never had the luxury of talking about my themes. I hope you understand what I mean.

@NickC But what I meant to say about my sister is that what may have seemed nonchalantly to me (and quite rude to be honest) was because she didnt have the ability to even see me. In retrospect I saw that it wasnt nonchalance but her own pain. Pain and suffering can do that to a person. And additionally: not everyone is very empathetic people. And I do want to say that her having "the luxury" of being open about her suffering and you not is not something she does TO you. I have been resentful towards people being open about their struggles when I have known I had it worse off. "Why do they get to be open and get support while I cant", and to be honest this is quite unfair. No one is condemning us to not be open but ourselves. I have often resented people for not being compassionate or supportive, but at the end of the day I havent given them the opportunity since I never open up. As much as we would like it sometimes, others arent mind readers. Have you ever considered opening up about your struggles and seeing what would happen. I compulsively keep everything to myself and Im hoping this is something I can get help with when I finally start up with an OCD-specialist. Because this thing WE do is cutting ourselves off from a lot of support and attachment. And its not really about my sister and Im guessing your frustration in a way is not really about your sister either. Im glad you shared, and Im sorry to hear you are so alone with your suffering. Good night! ❤

@asdfghj Thank you, I hope my comment didn't come off as insensitive, and you are absolutely right about this. It's just that taboo themes are prone to misunderstanding that I feel the others aren't, which can make them so scary and risky to talk about. But ultimately, I have the choice to talk about them to the people who are about me. Have yourself a good night as well and thank you.

@NickC Not insensitive at all! I feel a lot of the same. Worried that my friends and sister (they have kids) wont want to be around me if they knew I had intrusive thoughts about pedophilia. I really do empathise with how painful dealing with it all without support can be.