- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I know exactly how you feel. I was the same way when I would get a new phone and a lot of my important stuff got deleted. Know that ur not alone. Ik it’s hard but you losing pictures is only temporary. Remember that.
- Date posted
- 6y
I know how you feel. Even if you have to take things minute by minute (which I am doing right now), this isn’t permanent. Obsessions and compulsions wax and wane. When things are really bad, the breaks may be short - but they’re there. I take refuge in those times, and when I’m completely exhausted, I’ll hold out until I can get in bed and crash.
- Date posted
- 6y
It makes sense! Don’t minimize your feelings bc what you’re saying isn’t “logical.” OCD is what’s illogical - not you! I understand what it’s like to feel like you’re being taken apart piece by piece and wondering what will be left if this never stops. Maybe this isn’t the best way/way that will work for you, but I think about how much I’ve fought through and how I’ve always made it out the other side. Maybe I didn’t come out with all of me still intact-but every moment you’re alive is time where you might be able to heal and replace the lost pieces with even better ones. I’m just waiting for that day:) As far as feeling guilty about losing them again and letting them down-feeling guilty shows your love for them. A person who didn’t care/wasn’t trying to honor them would feel no remorse. While I don’t know what these people you are talking about were like, I’m sure that they would be honored you care so much and be completely content with you holding onto the memories or even just feelings you shared together. Those are what really last:)
- Date posted
- 6y
Try to restart your phone and hopefully that will help it. I’m all about exposure therapy. I would start deleting things that aren’t very important to you and then work ur way up to things that are harder. I’ve read a lot and did it with a phobia of my own that took over my life and I will be honest. It’s hard to admit but the best way to get rid of ur fear is to put yourself through it. Good luck stay strong you can and will conquer this !
- Date posted
- 6y
I’ve done that before where I deleted some photos and links in history that I can do without. It’s when I don’t know what was deleted scares me because I’m not in control. What if my phone just deleted pictures that are important that I’ll never get again or lost a website link that I saw that I’ll never able to find again? This fear was proven to me in many ways, most recently trying to find this one post from a while ago that intrigues me now and want to look it up more.
- Date posted
- 6y
In the past I’ve lost so much- sentimental and non sentimental items. I’ve even lost a whole semester’s worth of project right before the presentation. I hate not being in control which is ironic because I don’t have control over my life
- Date posted
- 6y
I know it’s just photos or stupid websites. But I feel like no matter how small (literally and figuratively speaking) a piece of me is stripped away. When my pets, parents and grandparents passed away it hurt so much so that the sentimental items given to me by them (wallet, ring, earrings, watch, clutch, stuffed animals, my parents’ belongings that I couldn’t go through because I’m bedridden because of my stupid illnesses, etc) were lost or stolen, I let them down. The guilt. That I lost them again. That I’m irresponsible. Then when my phone and laptop with my ideas/designs/thoughts and embarrassing pictures of me doing my compulsions were stolen because I wasn’t careful, a part of me was stripped away. It was abruptly taken away from me. So each time I lose something I’m losing a piece of me and my strength. The person I was loved challenges. Loved taking risks. Very extroverted. Now That I’ve lost so much of that, I’m losing myself. I don’t know if this makes sense. I just don’t know how to cope with loss. I even feel guilty about few animals.
- Date posted
- 6y
I can’t even get to bed and crash because I have contamination fear in my bed and my compulsions that I have to do every few hours when I sleep.
- Date posted
- 6y
Even when I have a meltdown I can’t sleep. I’ll eventually fall asleep but not soon before I feel so sick because I can’t sleep.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you @Devon. Someone once told me no one can rob you of your memories. I agree. And it sucks at the same time because I can’t be robbed of my bad memories, which stands out a lot stronger. What’s been haunting me and the causes of my PTSD now are when I was attacked in more ways than one. That contributes to my severe attachment to things so much that it’s difficult for me to throw away a plastic bag in fear of having something important inside. During the attacks and petitions for animal abuse, I started losing hope and distrust people. Even my “friends” had ulterior motives. Material things will never betray, will always be there but I have to protect it. Its all these things that come together that makes doing the ERP for checking difficult. I can’t seem to detach myself from them emotionally. I can’t let go of the sentiment.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I don’t have much of a support system outside of my bf, so I find myself here a lot. I think I just need to vent, so forgive me if I do this too often. It helps to have a community of people who truly understand. I haven’t felt this debilitated by mental illness in months. There has to be some explanation, maybe it’s hormonal, because I feel like I’ve completely lost myself. The panic hits in waves, sudden and overwhelming, like my head is submerged in lava, burning and suffocating. Then, for a brief moment, I feel almost normal and wonder what all the fear was about. But it never lasts. The chaos always comes back. I even considered going to the ER because I’m not sure I can trust myself anymore. Something has to be wrong, because this isn’t me. My life isn’t perfect, but it’s not unbearable either. Since I withdrew from school, I’ve been so much less stressed that even my cycle, which has been irregular for years, has somehow regulated itself. But even with that, I feel like a failure. I was one semester away from finishing, so close, but OCD hit me harder than it ever has. It felt like drowning, gasping for air, reaching for something solid, only to be dragged under again and again. Now, I feel like that again, but worse. I feel hollow, like something is wrong with me at my core. I don’t just feel sad; I feel broken. I break down into uncontrollable sobs every few hours, and I don’t even know why. I just know that whatever is happening, OCD is taking full advantage of how vulnerable I feel. Is this what MDD feels like? Everyone tells me I have it, and it’s been confirmed by my psych, my pcp, and my therapist, but I still can’t seem to fully see it. I don’t know how to separate what’s OCD from what might be another disorder. I’m sorry to anyone also going through such a hard time, my heart goes out to you 🤍
- Relationship OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- POCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Harm OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- OCD newbies
- Date posted
- 22w
TW I’m feeling really bad about myself today. I feel like a fraud and a liar. I’ve been unable to enjoy my time with my girlfriend because I’m bombarded with my thoughts. I’ve been asking for reassurance from so many people and nothing is helping. Nothing makes me feel better anymore and I’m worried that this is just how it’s going to be for forever. I miss when I could just be happy and not overthink so much. I miss being able to get through my days without this crippling anxiety. I’m worried there’s going to be a day where I realize I have no fight left in me
- Date posted
- 20w
I can’t stop crying. My thoughts are going insane, they’re so fast I can’t keep up. I want to tell everyone around me what’s happening (my family doesn’t even know about my OCD). I can’t seem to resist compulsions today. I’m freaking out. I want to give up. I feel like I’m suffocating in whatever is going on. I feel like I need to go to a hospital. I don’t know how to ask for help. I don’t feel okay. I don’t understand this at all. It feels like I took some random drug. I’m really scared I’m sorry, I am so panicked. It’s embarrassing but I feel so desperate for help right now I feel crazy
- Real Events OCD
- OCD newbies
- Older adults with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Harm OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- POCD
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond