Apparently no one on here has had the experience I am having.

what type of OCD do you have?

U will survive. U can't give up or ocd won and that is bullshit because u need to win! Be strong

@lmolnar to begin with, i currently do not have access to therapy and i aint got a diagnosis for that reason, but ive been struggling with this for a month and it's already tormenting because i always had decent mental health. it was such a twist. i believe i have pure o and my intrusive thoughts are mostly sexual and they're very disturbing. but today i felt like i was inexplicably threatened by my surroundings. i can't quite explain it but i felt like if i came in contact with X (like an object for example) a new intrusive thought would be born or that something bad would happen. i also thought that i was attracted to random people, and not just people. i feel extreme shame and guilt. i don't know what subtype that could be. today was the worst day of my life.

@hannahflorence you are right. my only motivation right now is my stubbornness to be a winner. I've always thought of myself as a weak minded crybaby since that's what ive been told since my childhood and although i think it's true i need to prove to myself that im better than this. thank you so much for taking time to reply i feel a little better now

@feethebee I would say that's Pure OCD. I have that too. I constantly get intrusive sexual thoughts, specifically about children. They scare me because I know I would never do something like that and I don't want to be a pedo.

@lmolnar yes, i totally feeling you. it's truly terrifying. hoping i can get a diagnosis and start treatment soon, but i need to open up to my family first. so stressful

@feethebee U r not a crybaby! U r obviously very strong and u gave so much motivation, that is so much to be proud of! I am glad u feel a little better and can tell u now that if this was the worst day of ur life u can only go up. Tomorrow can only be better. Stay strong! If not for urself (because u may feel like that in the future) but for the person u will be at some point they wouldn't want u to ever give up. Sending love x

@hannahflorence thank you immensely for your words. this can truly feel inspiring. sending love your way as well <3

@feethebee Ur so very welcome sometimes people just need to hear something that will help get them through. Thanks for the love :) x

I do have harm ocd and sexually intrusive thoughts, but currently what's causing me the most distress doesn't fit into any specific category (which makes me doubt it's ocd) and i talked a little bit more about it in an earlier post today if you scroll down a little. thank you for responding

I started explaining some of it in a post earlier today if you scroll down a bit. But thank you for reading my bio and I’m feeling very much the same way you are right now in regards to suicidal thoughts.

@MegB oh, I'll try and find it. im glad to see we are not alone in this, suicidal thoughts are really scary but i want to believe that we'll look back at all this in a few years from now and feel grateful for not giving up. i also hope me opening about this hadn't been triggering for you or anyone and im sorry if it did.

@feethebee Oh absolutely not you didn’t trigger me at all. I’m honestly so exhausted that I’ve been feeling incredibly defeated all day and I’m almost resigned to feeling this way. I’ve been trying really hard to try and feel joy, but every time I do I feel guilty and then I go back to feeling sad. Thank you for telling me that you’re feeling down too. It helps knowing I’m not alone in feeling this.

@MegB i really relate to that part about feeling joy. i don't even remember what true joy feels like, every time i feel a tiny bit positive there's something at the back of my brain telling me something's off or that i should go back to emergency mode and start feeling sad/anxious/upset again. I'll always try and share my experiences or feelings here when i feel comfortable because everyone deserves to feel included and understood during these challenging times. sending you lots of love & support <3

My bio doesn’t talk about what I’m currently obsessing about. If you scroll down in the posts you’ll see what I’m currently dealing with. But thank you for reading my bio and responding.

Also, I’m sorry you’ve had to go through those themes too. Even though those themes aren’t currently distressing me the most, they are still very scary and upsetting thoughts and when I first experienced the Harm OCD, I didn’t know what was happening and it almost killed me.

I talked a little bit about what I’m currently struggling with in an earlier post if you scroll down for a little bit. Thank you for responding.