Can anybody please reply and help me? I have always been a good person and never had a rebellious phase or anything like that but my mind is telling me I want to or that I am being too good or responsible and that I want to live a bad life and start doing bad things. I can't figure it out. Every time I do something like decorate for Christmas, my mind tells me I'm being too childish. Every time I try to do schoolwork or work my mind tells me I being too good or responsible. I am so scared. I end up avoiding these things and I can't tell if its bc I really want to bad things or if its bc I don't and so I avoid it bc of these thoughts. I am starting to think I really want to be bad. Whenever my brother cones over and says something inappropriate its like my mind says "he won't accept you if you are too good" and it feels like I dont want to work or do school but I just want to become a bad person and I can't tell anymore 😭

Thank you. That's what I thought and it truly feels like I want to be a bad person. I will try to think about it and be like "I dont know!" I will try to do things and feel like I want to go do drugs and hook up with people and even worse things and I honestly cannot tell anymore. The worsr part is a lot of people do those things and it feels like i want to be accepted by them or will become like them to impress them and I dont even know who I am any ore

@Anonymous When your brain sends you these things, do you best to show it these things don’t scare you. Say to it, “yeah maybe, so what?” And shrug it off. The more you show it these things can’t get to you, the less it will use them. They pop up so often because they’re so effective at stoking anxiety and fear and compulsions in you.

@pureolife Okay. But how do I tell if they are my real desires when I keep having feelings that they are but don't want that? I feel like I won't be able to enjoy Christmas if I may want to become a bad person. Even at thanksgiving my mind told me not to complement mt moms decorating because I was being lame caring. That made me feel like I truly want to bw bad if I'm having thoughts like that

@Anonymous Right now, you don’t need to spend any time trying to figure out if they are real or not. The compulsions are all the things you do to try to sort these into clear categories of “real thoughts/desires” and “ocd thoughts/emotions.” And with ocd, you just can never be 100% sure and you will waste a lifetime trying to figure that out. Ironically, when you stop trying to figure this out and prevent compulsions, your “real” self actually becomes a lot clearer. Go with your values. You probably wanted to compliment the decorating and when the intrusive thoughts telling you it was lame hit, you should have said “maybe it is and maybe I want to stop being lame, or maybe this is an intrusive thought. I’m not sure, and I don’t need to know. I’m going to compliment this though anyways.”

@pureolife Okay. I did compliment her because i thought that would be good. You said go with my valued but when I try to do this it seems like I don't know my values and that they are changing. Should I go with what they were before I started obsessing?

@Anonymous Values aren’t feelings. In that moment you’re not looking for how you feel deep down (ie do I feel like complimenting this or not?) you’re saying, I know compliments make this person feel good and I want to be a good person who makes others feel good. So even if it feels like I don’t want to be lame, I’m going with being good.

@pureolife Okay. Thank you. I will try. I appreciate thw help