Anyone here Gay/Bi?

Didnt you struggle with hocd carl ?

@Ihateocd83 I did not.

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett Oh ok sorry mate. What was it you struggled with ?. I have some thoughts around my family is that normal with ocd?

@Ihateocd83 Everything is normal. OCD or not. But I’ve had mostly harm OCD and “schiz-OCD”. But sprinkled in there is some existential OCD, POCD, and good old symmetry and counting. I’ve had most of them. HOCD never caught on for me, because I was totally fine with the fact that I liked both genders. I still think it’s great! Haha

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett Having thoughts around your family isnt normal mate ?

@Ihateocd83 Any thought is normal. They’re just thoughts.

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett This is true i guess

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett I would be fine with hocd if it didnt tell lies. And at the moment i have really distorted thinking and depression

@Ihateocd83 So you’d be fine with HOCD if it wasn’t HOCD?

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett Obviously i dont like the thoughts about doing stuff with another guy it grosses me out and makes me feel uncomfortable when i think about it rationally. ( no offence) i never had 1 gay thought before the age of 22 im 37 things have really got on top of me

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett Yeah i realise that didnt really make sense lol

@Ihateocd83 That’s progress!

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett Whats progress mate ?

@Ihateocd83 That you realized it didn’t make any sense.

@Bryan Regarding to what mate ?. Hope your alrite mate

@Bryan ERP.

SOOCD can happen to anyone of any orientation. And it loves to use perfectly normal experiences for people against them as some sort of evidence that they are actually a different orientation. Sorry this theme is getting to you! No ones past is completely clear cut and even people with what seem like super straightforward pasts who get this theme still end up finding endless evidence against them. It’s the ocd. That’s the problem. Not your past.

@pureolife Thanks for that @pureolife, I say that all the time too, my sexual orientation is not the problem, its ocd, but when I agruee that point, ocd "my brain" hits the gears up and I'm spinning in dought.... 😫 FML

@coolpop It’s something we understand logically but because we have ocd when we try to say it to ourselves and believe it it just doesn’t work. And that’s okay. When you say it to yourself you’ll likely get an intrusive thought calling you a liar. Your job then is to respond by leaning into uncertainty, “yeah maybe, or maybe not. I don’t know and I don’t need to know with any more certainty than I already have in this moment.”

Cheers buddy. Yeah i dont want that. But i feel like this wont stop until i give in 😞

Feels like im just saying its gross because im in denial i just cant trust my brain. Doesnt help that im depressed aswel

drinking makes it worse in the long run tho 😞

i have been refered to a mental health team. Even writing that my mind was like i dont know why your gay 🤷‍♂️

I just feel like im going to have to give into this shit 😞

@Ihateocd83 Ruminating doesn’t help, just tell your brain u don’t want to think about this right now. And force yourself to do something else.

I think I’ve shared many, right? What’s the challenge now is actually doing them.

@Bryan Yes, I feel happy a great deal of the time. Like any human, I feel sadness or disappointment. I’ve felt shame. I think it’s important to understand all these emotions are part of the human experience. Absolutely everyone feels them in some way or another. Some feel them more intensely, and others not. Some get stuck in loops, some don’t. But there’s nothing “wrong” with them so much as they “are”. The question becomes for you not that it’s an issue they’re there at all, but in what way can they be useful. We can accept what IS while working to make a better “is” if that makes sense. You’re not responsible for your emotions always, nor your thoughts. You only can alter your response to them. That comes mostly through discipline and practice, often at great personal distress and challenge. Think of mental fitness just like physical fitness. Working out is great, but we often lack motivation to do it and the actual act of working out isn’t always enjoyable, but it does make us healthier, better versions of ourselves. Your emotions indicate something you value at times. When you’re distressed about something, it’s usually because it’s impacting something you deeply value. In your case, it’s being a good person. Your guilt and shame are emotions that the brain is giving you because it’s saying, “Hey, doing that thing isn’t what we want to be.” In some way, it’s an act of self-love. ERP is the best tool for people suffering with OCD, so you have to do it. It’s not easy, it’s painful. It will suck. But it’s the path nonetheless.