- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m really sorry to hear you are dealing with this. My heart goes out to you and I’ll definitely be praying for you. I wanted to say, that there is no backwards movement in life. Often times with OCD everyone remembers a time where it wasn’t as bad as it was. We were all perfect storms, it was brewing regardless. You will find a way to see this through, you obviously have the drive and things will be A-okay in the end. You’ll just experience a lot of growing pains 😊 Here’s a quote that may inspire, as it renders true for chronic illness such as OCD. “Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened. Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.” J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings.
- Date posted
- 4y
First, I’m sorry you’re distressed. It isn’t easy having the experience that you are. Secondly, do you have a doctor or therapist you work closely with?
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- 4y
Also, I’d argue that perhaps you don’t want to go back to what it was like before. As before is what got you here now.
- Date posted
- 4y
I think about this all the time, it feels like it can never go back to the way it was but I have hope for us!
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. It sounds so difficult. I too have spent time thinking about the time before OCD. It all seems so good. But it is falsely because I’m looking at the past through a false prism. That is what I think is truth. Have you consulted with your therapist about the side effects? I really want that things turn out better for you. And please find some hope on Sheeby words. I know I did. I will keep you in my thoughts.
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- 4y
Thanks for the prayers and the hopeful words.
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- 4y
I feel like I’m going to drop dead any day now. Like my body is just going to give up
- Date posted
- 4y
I have a doctor and therapist but nothing seems to be helping
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.
- Date posted
- 20w
I miss when I wasn't ruminating 24/7, waking up with horrible anxiety or spending all day doing compulsions. Even when I try so hard to resist them I just end up in a spiral. I miss when I was comfortable in my nonbinary identity and didn't have TOCD and now everything feels wrong and conflicting. I miss when I wasn't depressed and disabled. I know I can never get that person back. I haven't seen that person since high school. Ive spent years with this disorder and i havent gotten better despite therapy and meds. I don't know if I'll ever be happy again.
- Date posted
- 18w
I dont know what to do anymore. I think Ive had the 'pure O' version of OCD for more than ten years. I feel like so much of my life has been wasted from this disease. For the longest time I just tried to ignore the intrusive thoughts, and push them off as anxiety, and basically dissociated for years of my life. Feels like Ive just been on autopilot and a shell of myself for nearly 15 years. Its actually hard to even imagine of all the experiences, emotions, connections with others, and personal growth that Ive missed out on- if I do, I think it would be too much to handle. I think Ive even forgot and dont even know at this point what it is to live a normal life and experience positive emotions. Now that I sought treatment for it specifically, it feels like it's gotten worse. Like by acknowledging that part of myself, suddenly added focus just makes it more real and in the forefront now. I wonder if I am actually going insane. Will not go into details for reassurance but the thoughts just rip my soul out. Its so difficult as well because I will get random 'clarity moments' throughout the day where I feel like Ive solved something, then get completely derailed by another OCD thought stream and forget everything. It feels like Im just on a merry-go-round of hell, not going anywhere thinking I am at times.
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