- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m really sorry to hear you are dealing with this. My heart goes out to you and I’ll definitely be praying for you. I wanted to say, that there is no backwards movement in life. Often times with OCD everyone remembers a time where it wasn’t as bad as it was. We were all perfect storms, it was brewing regardless. You will find a way to see this through, you obviously have the drive and things will be A-okay in the end. You’ll just experience a lot of growing pains 😊 Here’s a quote that may inspire, as it renders true for chronic illness such as OCD. “Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened. Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.” J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings.
- Date posted
- 4y
First, I’m sorry you’re distressed. It isn’t easy having the experience that you are. Secondly, do you have a doctor or therapist you work closely with?
- Date posted
- 4y
Also, I’d argue that perhaps you don’t want to go back to what it was like before. As before is what got you here now.
- Date posted
- 4y
I think about this all the time, it feels like it can never go back to the way it was but I have hope for us!
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. It sounds so difficult. I too have spent time thinking about the time before OCD. It all seems so good. But it is falsely because I’m looking at the past through a false prism. That is what I think is truth. Have you consulted with your therapist about the side effects? I really want that things turn out better for you. And please find some hope on Sheeby words. I know I did. I will keep you in my thoughts.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thanks for the prayers and the hopeful words.
- Date posted
- 4y
I feel like I’m going to drop dead any day now. Like my body is just going to give up
- Date posted
- 4y
I have a doctor and therapist but nothing seems to be helping
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
At this point I think I’m just tired. Took me a massive amount of strength to even type this. I’ve never had it this bad with anxiety depression and OCD. Firstly, how do you guys handle the trauma that comes with OCD. I recently realized Ive traumatized by own mind. I think this contributes to depression. Also, the thoughts frequency have gotten so high. It just literally jams its self in my brain. Before, I had some sort of control (at least a grip) but this days it’s so hard to try to get a grip. The unwanted feelings too? Omg, reactions that I literally can’t stand plagues me. My mind turns almost everything sexual. It’s crazy 🙃 Then the anxietyyyyyy! Wheew. I’m like a walking anxiety attack, my heart is always beating fast and it’s so painful. Working is so hard because I can’t get a grip, I feel so broken and I don’t think anyone can relate to this. I don’t know what I can do to help. Then the pressure in my head (that causes headache sometimes), sometimes I genuinely think I have a tumor! I’m pregnant so that makes it sadder, makes me wonder what kind of mother this beautiful soul is coming out here to meet. I don’t want to be a sad mother, and I cry more when I realize my child can feel what I feel rn in my belly😔. Another thing, the moment I don’t wanna do something, doesn’t even have to be anything bad. That’s when it feels my mind wants to force me to do it. It’s a whole lot and I’m just holding on to Jesus to help me out. At least he’s here so that’s comforting.
- Date posted
- 19w
some days I wake up with so much dread and guilt. It makes it so hard to keep going. I open my eyes and I’m hit with a wave of nausea and terror. I feel ashamed of my compulsions and my OCD. I feel like a monster for my checking compulsions. For momentarily sexualizing things that shouldn’t be sexualized out of anxiety. I’m ashamed of a lot that I give into because of anxiety. Confessing things that are meaningless to my boyfriend. I feel so awful and unworthy of existing and of love. I feel hopeless I don’t want to keep pushing, the more I push the more meta my OCD becomes and the more guilt I feel for this mental illness. The more confusing it becomes to do ERP. If compulsions are a choice, they feel like life or death and it’s driving me insane, I beat myself up so badly over them I’m scared of compulsions, I’m scared of thoughts, I’m scared to be awake, I’m even scared of sleeping because my intrusions and compulsions haunt me there too. I spend my dreams trying to explain or justify my OCD and compulsions to people. I’m exhausted, I want this to stop so badly. My severe OCD isn’t feeling any less severe and it’s been months. I don’t want to keep questioning my every move but I’m so hyperaware of everything I do. I’m so tired. Some days I don’t even have tears to cry with. I’m just so full of despair and shame
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- Date posted
- 19w
Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.
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