I wish so bad that I could go back to being how I was before the anxiety and OCD had taken over my life, and the subsequent medications and their side effects . It’s mostly bodily sensations now. Tension headaches daily. Fast pounding heart rate. Feeling like I’m constantly out of breath. Feeling like I’m going to pass out. My eyes moving involuntarily. Feeling intense anxiety for no apparent reason. Feeling like the ground is moving under me. I’ve tried so many things. Many different meds, many different therapys, and I only seem to be getting worse as the years go on. I’m loosing hope that I’ll get better than I am now.

I’m really sorry to hear you are dealing with this. My heart goes out to you and I’ll definitely be praying for you. I wanted to say, that there is no backwards movement in life. Often times with OCD everyone remembers a time where it wasn’t as bad as it was. We were all perfect storms, it was brewing regardless. You will find a way to see this through, you obviously have the drive and things will be A-okay in the end. You’ll just experience a lot of growing pains 😊 Here’s a quote that may inspire, as it renders true for chronic illness such as OCD. “Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened. Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.” J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings.

First, I’m sorry you’re distressed. It isn’t easy having the experience that you are. Secondly, do you have a doctor or therapist you work closely with?

Also, I’d argue that perhaps you don’t want to go back to what it was like before. As before is what got you here now.

I think about this all the time, it feels like it can never go back to the way it was but I have hope for us!

I’m so sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. It sounds so difficult. I too have spent time thinking about the time before OCD. It all seems so good. But it is falsely because I’m looking at the past through a false prism. That is what I think is truth. Have you consulted with your therapist about the side effects? I really want that things turn out better for you. And please find some hope on Sheeby words. I know I did. I will keep you in my thoughts.

Thanks for the prayers and the hopeful words.

I feel like I’m going to drop dead any day now. Like my body is just going to give up

I have a doctor and therapist but nothing seems to be helping