I'm feeling so down right now. I saw an inappropriate post and I am afraid I want to be like that. In addition I really want a job but I am too afraid that I will feel to responsible and become bad or that someone will make fun of me for being good and I will become bad. My main fesr is becoming or wanting to become a bad person. I am so sad

I guess so. I'm not really sure how to do exposures though. Do I just sit with it?

@Anonymous I highly recommend getting an OCD therapist to guide you through it, but yes — once you have the obsession, you sit with all the uncomfortable feelings it brings. No matter how much your brain is screaming at you to do a compulsion, don’t engage! This manually “shifts gears” in your brain, teaching it that nothing is wrong. Eventually, you will feel less compelled to do compulsions. And then you will feel less panicked by the obsessions.

@Madison Okay. I guess my biggest problem is when I see someone talking about sin or being bad in a good way like they are bragging about it. I then feel like I want to be like them and I feel like I won't be happy being good and then everything normal (like chores and school) or good I feel anxious and I can't ffigure out why. Do I really want to be bad? Am I changing? Idk :(

@Anonymous Oh my goodness, I relate to this 100%. And I promise you it’s just OCD making you feel this way, and the ERP will help it! Don’t try to figure it out. Don’t try to analyze your motives or morals or any of that. Sit with the anxious feelings. Do the ERP I outlined above. It WILL help. And getting an OCD therapist to guide you will help way more!

@Madison Okay! I started ocd therapy last Tuesday but it was just a diagnosis. I honestly feel like my morals are shifting and that's who I want to be and j can't shake it. Its like I dont feel bad enough and want to be bad! I honestly can't tell but its so annoying!! Ugh, glad I'm not the only one who has experienced this though!!

@Anonymous I completely know how you feel! But the fact that it bothers you is proof that it’s OCD. I know it’s so confusing and you can’t figure it out... that is also proof that it’s OCD! XD So proud of you for going to a therapist! Do what they tell you to do and trust that they will help you get better!

@Madison Okay!! But what do I do if I feel bad for doing good things? I think it might be more anxiety due to the obsession but it might be me feeling bad for being too good. I don't know. What should I do? Also, have you done NOCD's therapy?

@Anonymous Most likely just more anxiety due to the constant obsessing. OCD can make you feel anxious over anything! I would practice exposure to the anxious feelings like I outlined above. I haven’t done NOCD’s therapy yet, but I am actively practicing ERP, and I have my first appointment with a NOCD therapist on Monday!

@Madison Awesome! That's great! I'm hoping it will help!! I am kind if scared though being a Christian because I do not if erp will be good for my faith ir not but I figured its worth a shot

@Anonymous I’m a Christian too! ERP will not go against your faith if your therapist is sympathetic to your Christian beliefs. God knows you have OCD and He also knows that ERP will help! You got this!

@Madison Okay! Good to know!! I haven't really tried it yet but I am glad to know it won't go against my faith! Hopefully in ths long run it will strengthen it so I can stop second guessinf everything!

@Anonymous For sure! When OCD is lessened we can enjoy our relationship with God so much better!

its so hard :(

@Anonymous Idk if I'm being too hard on myself or not

@BigGip09 I think you probably are. There is always forgiveness for past mistakes and there is always hope for the future

@Anonymous I always worry what's too far for something to not be a mistake though. I hate the mistakes I made back in high school and I don't know how to forgive myself for it sometimes. And this shit with the CP incident I didn't want to see it at all and I don't search for it and I definitely don't save it but I even feel guilty for witnessing it. I hate jt

@BigGip09 You can't always help what you see on the internet. It isn't your fault and you did the right thing reporting it! We all make mistakes and to me my only saving grace is being a Christian. I know God forgives me for what I have done and that helps me go towards the future! Obviously I dont know your beliefs so idk if you even believe in Jesus but that is what has helped me the most

@Anonymous I am a Christian and I do believe in God. I sometimes pray on sleepless nights and with meditation it helps me sleep at night.

@BigGip09 That's awesome! I'm glad to hear that because Jesus will forgive you for any mistake and doesn't hold it against you! Its like you have a clean slate :) and honestly I think I might go pray right now!! It will probably help me feel better!!

@Anonymous Anonymous is right. Through faith in Jesus, our sins are 100% washed away!

@BigGip09 I'm just at a point where I don't want to see anything sexual online and I know I can't even help that with the society we live in these days but I hate that I just keep getting relapses from these things and I just want to not be hurting in my thoughts over it. It always feels like I deserve to be jailed by my mistakes

@Anonymous I think I'll go ask for forgiveness right now. I love Jesus, and I love how my family has him portrayed.

@BigGip09 I understand. The media is filled with these things and it can be hard to get away from and make us feel bad. I understand wanting to escape the thoughts. It is so hard. And asking for forgiveness is a great thing to do! After you ask for forgiveness, try to leave in Jesus's hands and move forward! I often go back to mistakes of feel like I should keep asking for forgiveness but I don't need to because once I am forgiven for it, it died on the cross with Jesus which is wonderful news!!

@Anonymous Thanks for being here with me today. You and Madison. She's came across my post before and helped me GREATLY with what I was going through and it made me feel so supported and relatable.

@BigGip09 Of course :) thank you too! I used to feel very alone in my struggles but this app has helped me know that I'm not alone and I can help others through my pain