Anyone else a Christian here find it very hard/distrrssing the coand to forgive our enemies and those who hurt us? I have scrupolsity and moral OCD, so even the thought of 'but how do I truly know that I have fully forgiven someone in my heart? What if deep deep down somewhere I haven't forgiven them and God knows it.' is super upsetting for me because I just want to do the right thing for God.. 😔 Doing the right thing for God in all situations is basically a big essence of my ocd. Thanks guys, I always appreciate people who help me.

Thank you.. I just can't seem to grasp that. I think of all the wrong things with me, and I believe God must see them too. I still don't fully understand how as a Christian, God sees us not in our sinful state, but in Jesus, therefore as white as snow. Infact, I can tell someone else this but I don't believe it for myself. I have always struggled with this. But I posted it today because I got particularly triggered. I prayed to God today and said I am available Lord for you to use me today, in whatever way you wish. I sorta had the idea that might be talking to an unbeliever, or just helping someone. But a strange thing happened, when I went out for my daily walk I bumped into a man who is fellow Christian. I thought 'is this the thing God has answered me with? To meet another Christian?'.. The man talked to me and he ended up asking about a physical injury I have, then he asked me 'is there anyone you haven't forgiven?' and I didn't want to answer because this whole topic is like oil to the fire... He continued to say 'because most people get healed once they forgive the person they have not forgiven'. And I'm genuinely very unsure about that because I have never read God will punish us or smite us down if we do not forgive someone. I know in the Lord's prayer the verse 'Forgive me my trespasses as I forgive those who trespass against me.' And also God says he who forgives much, will be forgiven much. I have a long and hard relationship with my mother and some other family members. Its still really upsetting and I'm. Currently still experiencing it.. 😔😔😔😔I don't know if any of that makes sense

@ButterflyStar Sorry my response is long, but here it goes: It all makes perfect sense. And I get what you are saying. It’s easier for us to share about God’s love for others because we are so sure of it, but are less sure when it comes to ourselves. Sometimes it’s hard to grasp, but it doesn’t make it any less true. God loves us so much. I don’t know why that man said what he said, but it is absolutely untrue. And I think deep down you know that too. That is like a weird guilt/performance mentality that doesnt align with the character of God. If God operated on quid pro quo, Jesus never would’ve died for us. There would’ve never been a plan for salvation at all. Salvation cannot be earned. It is freely given. The verse you referred to is Matthew 6:14 correct? Everyone has a different perspective, but I wonder if in the verse, God was referring to a hardened heart that is absolutely unwilling to forgive. From reading what you have shared and your strong desire to please Him, doesn’t sound like to me you have a hardened heart or that you are unwilling to forgive. I may not know you, but that much is apparent. I’ve also had really difficult relationships with my parents. For years, I had so much anger and bitterness. I took it all to God. I even told Him I wanted to hold onto my anger. Especially towards my dad. I was also brutally honest with God about some other things. Amazingly, God in His infinite grace and love, understands where our feelings come from and sits with us and comforts us through it. He doesn’t hold it against us. And because He loved me, He didn’t let me stay in my anger. Sometimes, all I could do was sit in prayer or quiet time with Him and just cry and yell and get angry. God was, and is, big enough to handle all of it. Get really honest with God. Honesty and transparency are foundational building blocks to an intimate relationship. I also learned that forgiveness is a choice. Whether or not you feel like you forgave, forgiveness is something you have to walk and live out. You will still feel angry at times. But it’s about reminding yourself that you made the choice to forgive and surrendering the anger. Some days it’s easier, some days it’s harder. It’s part of the journey of forgiveness. It doesn’t mean you failed or that you didn’t forgive. Over time, it gets easier. You make the choice and then the feelings follow. Forgiveness is also for yourself. Not the other person or people. Give yourself grace. These feelings of guilt, worry, fear and condemnation isn’t from God and deep down, I think you may already know that. I pray that you will experience a deeper revelation of just how much God loves and adores you and desires to see you be set free from OCD and anxiety. I pray the Lord will make Himself tangible to you. I am so grateful for your honesty. I can’t say enough how lovely you are to God. Continue to fight anxiety head on! He is with you and for you, my friend!

@Anonymous Thank you so much dear friend for your reply. I have thanked the Lord that He would send such a gracious person my way to encourage me when I am down and out. I really thank you so much! I might write down your comment in my ocd therapy notepad,to help me. I thought what he said was untrue too.. Like I did get pretty anxious about 'what if it is true and God is speaking to me thru this man'.. But it's not scripturally correct, therefor it's not from God. And God is not a God of confusion, and the man's statement was very confusing. I will try to be very open and transparent with the Lord about my hurt and resentment. Thank you for YOUR honesty, because its helping me!! That I'm not alone.. Its a long road of recovery, but I can truly say every step of it has been by and with God's grace♥️. Thank you for taking the time to reply to me, God sent you to talk to me.

@ButterflyStar You seem to be so familiar with God’s character :) the word says His sheep hear His voice. And you, even through your doubts, hear God’s voice come through. You are His. And you are absolutely correct. God doesn’t bring confusion! You are not alone! So happy we can connect!

@Anonymous Aw wow thank you so much, this genuinely has made me smile! The same to you, the faith He has given to you helps others--me!! Lovely to message with you. Always here if you need to chat too 🙋‍♀️😊

@ButterflyStar Thank you!!!

Yeah.. Its just that doubt that it might be what God is thinking that drives me mental... Cough cough OCD 😔😔😅... And then im like, OK its OCD but how do I get better?! I guess continuing with therapy and ERP 😔it's such a long journey of recovery

@ButterflyStar You are correct! Keep pushing forward and don’t give up!

@Anonymous Thank you!! ♥️♥️

No.. Do you? I would love to have the same thing😔🙋‍♀️❤️

Check facebook all ur takes is a second to googlr

@Raee I don't have social media Raee. Best decision ever lol

@ButterflyStar Or google, some sites have forums for that stuff!