- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes OMG in exactly the same ? I always thought I was straight but recently accepted that I could be bisexual. However this Hocd is trying to convince me I’m only attracted to women. I hate it coz I’ve always been attracted to men. It’s exhausting. I get the urges aswell they are the worst coz they feel so real and uncontrollable :/
- Date posted
- 6y
I feel the pain in your message..... It is exhausting, I've been in recovery for around 6 months, symptoms have definitely decreased however the lingering doubts are constantly there, annoying and painful, just want to be able to be in a meaningful happy relationship, omg!!!
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes, its so FRUSTRATING! I'm starting to actually doubt my sexuality, that maybe I am only attracted to the same sex, lately I haven't been finding women attractive, I feel very awkward around them, and all I notice is the males, I look at them solely which is strange because this was not the case around one year ago before OCD struck. I don't even know anymore.... I'm trying to accept the uncertainty however I'm frightened that maybe I am actually exclusively attracted to the same sex.
- Date posted
- 6y
Same problem! It’s so nice to finally meet another bi person with the same issue!
- Date posted
- 6y
@Pink Dinosaur Yes, I was afraid I was just in denial for such a long time hence why I didn't seek treatment, because usually those who have HOCD tend to be entirely straight and they fear become homosexual. Whereas I was Bi prior to OCD, now it's convincing me I'm entirely gay and just in denial.
- Date posted
- 6y
Does your ocd try to convince you your only attracted to one gender ?
- Date posted
- 6y
@AhmedH Me too! Sometimes it tries to tell me that I’m 100% straight and that I’m just taking resources away from actual LGBT people. :/ I feel as if bisexuality already comes with a certain element of confusion, OCD just makes it worse.
- Date posted
- 6y
The thing with me is even though I know I am attracted to both genders (prior to OCD), I made a rational decision not act upon my Homosexual desires due to personal reasons (not homophobic). However since OCD I am constantly feeling strong urges, impulses, aggressive thoughts that I have to come out to the world and start being with the same sex, sometimes it feels I am being forced to do something deep down I know I have no desire to do so.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w
I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
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- Date posted
- 15w
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
- Date posted
- 10w
Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been going through one of the hardest mental spirals of my life, and I’m hoping someone can relate or shed light on what’s happening to me. About 4 months ago, I accidentally came across a trans porn scene. It didn’t do much at the time, but later it triggered this overwhelming intrusive thought: “What if I’m gay?” Since then, it’s been absolute hell. I’ve always been into women—emotionally, sexually, everything. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a girl I love deeply. But after that moment, my brain started spiraling into nonstop analysis. I began checking how I felt around men, whether I felt attraction, whether I was in denial, whether I was lying to myself. Literally everything became a test. I got stuck in this loop: • A thought pops in → panic • Try to solve it → brief relief • Another thought → worse panic • Repeat. At times, it got so bad I couldn’t feel anything at all—toward my girlfriend, toward women, toward myself. I started doubting everything. Some days, I feel emotionally flat, like I’ve lost my personality. Other days, I wake up with a full-body jolt of “truth” like “I’m definitely gay”—only for it to fade into numbness again. I’ve also noticed that I get short bursts of peace when I stop reacting, but then the fear comes back louder, like “See? Now you’re accepting it. That means it’s true.” Therapy hasn’t helped much so far—it felt more like general counseling. They told me to sit with the thoughts, but didn’t clarify if this was OCD, identity questioning, or trauma. That just made it worse because now I’m back to thinking “What if I’m just rejecting my truth?” I’m exhausted. I’ve lost connection to everything I used to love. • I want to love my girl again the way I used to • I want to feel desire without overthinking • I want to trust myself again I’m not looking for reassurance—I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, and if this sounds like HOCD or identity OCD. Thanks for reading.
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