- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes OMG in exactly the same ? I always thought I was straight but recently accepted that I could be bisexual. However this Hocd is trying to convince me I’m only attracted to women. I hate it coz I’ve always been attracted to men. It’s exhausting. I get the urges aswell they are the worst coz they feel so real and uncontrollable :/
- Date posted
- 6y
I feel the pain in your message..... It is exhausting, I've been in recovery for around 6 months, symptoms have definitely decreased however the lingering doubts are constantly there, annoying and painful, just want to be able to be in a meaningful happy relationship, omg!!!
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes, its so FRUSTRATING! I'm starting to actually doubt my sexuality, that maybe I am only attracted to the same sex, lately I haven't been finding women attractive, I feel very awkward around them, and all I notice is the males, I look at them solely which is strange because this was not the case around one year ago before OCD struck. I don't even know anymore.... I'm trying to accept the uncertainty however I'm frightened that maybe I am actually exclusively attracted to the same sex.
- Date posted
- 6y
Same problem! It’s so nice to finally meet another bi person with the same issue!
- Date posted
- 6y
@Pink Dinosaur Yes, I was afraid I was just in denial for such a long time hence why I didn't seek treatment, because usually those who have HOCD tend to be entirely straight and they fear become homosexual. Whereas I was Bi prior to OCD, now it's convincing me I'm entirely gay and just in denial.
- Date posted
- 6y
Does your ocd try to convince you your only attracted to one gender ?
- Date posted
- 6y
@AhmedH Me too! Sometimes it tries to tell me that I’m 100% straight and that I’m just taking resources away from actual LGBT people. :/ I feel as if bisexuality already comes with a certain element of confusion, OCD just makes it worse.
- Date posted
- 6y
The thing with me is even though I know I am attracted to both genders (prior to OCD), I made a rational decision not act upon my Homosexual desires due to personal reasons (not homophobic). However since OCD I am constantly feeling strong urges, impulses, aggressive thoughts that I have to come out to the world and start being with the same sex, sometimes it feels I am being forced to do something deep down I know I have no desire to do so.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
It feels like I’m lying to myself constantly and everyone. There feels like there is a weight on my heart from the moment I wake up till I go to sleep. I don’t want to be gay. Idk why it doesn’t register. Now everyone I see I have to see if I’m attracted to them. I see good looking men and I feel like I’m lying to myself that they are good looking, I see women and I see if im attracted to them. I look at everyone and I feel jealous. I want my fucking life back. But now my OCD (if this is even OCD) is telling me I was never happy and I was always suppressing my feelings of being gay. Why is this happening? Can OCD do this? I can’t enjoy anything ever.
- Date posted
- 16w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 16w
Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.
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