tmi and nsfw warning.... i was masturbating earlier and couldn’t think of anything to turn me on but then this porno i watched years ago popped into my head (it was of a mom and a daughter masturbating) and i kept thinking about it and orgasmed from the thoughts and now i’m freaking out hours later cause that’s such a fucked up porno and idk why i came thinking about it it makes me so disgusted i fucking hate myself

thanks for the book recommendation, i’ll check it out! and yeah we do tend to get stuck with our thoughts and i keep worrying over why enjoyed thinking about that and what it means etc etc. i think i likes the taboo aspect of it, and that scares me.

the mom and the daughter part— i’m a lesbian so two women isn’t an issue,,,

@worryqueen i’m so sorry! i thought maybe it was an hocd issue. my apologies.

@worryqueen most likely, these women were not actually related.

@missbluesky Yeah it was most likely a fantasy thing that appeals to people of the kink. You feeling disgust of the theme of the kink may show you have incest OCD or you only liked the part where they were both masturbating together and not the fact that it was incest themed.

@BigGip09 idk i definitely do have incest ocd but i think i did enjoy the taboo of thinking of that situation,,, and it makes me feel disgusted afterwards though so idk what to do or think am i fucked up or what?

@worryqueen Maybe it's due to the taboo nature in general, not because of the incest itself. If it were the incest alone, you wouldn't be feeling so disgusted about incest OCD in the first place. If you didn't feel disgust over it you probably would've acted on it. You feeling disgust about it then and now shows that you're not actually into that kind of thing, more of the nature of taboo

@BigGip09 yeah i think so too, but my mind won’t stop bugging me about it and i feel so terrible bc i’ve done it in the past but it hasn’t been years and it just popped into my head and i came to it. i feel so fucking bad, like i’m falling back into that mindset of “taboo turns me on” bc i really don’t enjoy that

@worryqueen Maybe you were just experiencing with it due to the fact that it was a porno and you were looking for something new. I'm sure a lot of people have done this during their porn browsing. I have. Mostly it was unintentional that I found many different varieties in porn but it came up on safe sites nonetheless. You're fine, please don't ruminate. You're not a bad person for browsing pornography. You know you really didn't enjoy that. There's times where I stumbled upon videos that were taboo fantasies like people being naked in public it really doesn't mean anything most of the time. Try your best not to ruminate.