anybody else here can't tell what their emotions are? i don't feel anxiety, i don't feel annoyance, i don't feel sadness. but i am so unfocused and unmotivated. hopeless even. but i don't feel anything either.

yes, at the beginning of my ocd i was anxious all the time. now I'm nothing. just empty

@feethebee omg same!

@saltedcrabs i think it may be a body defense mechanism of sort i heard people who constantly obsess feel numb after a while

@saltedcrabs yeah that makes sense, i think my body & brain has kind of gotten used to the thoughts but.. it just can't move on so im stuck in this pitiful mental state

@feethebee same :( are you in therapy?

@saltedcrabs nope.. im a minor and my parents aren't really understanding + we're on lockdown and stuff..

@feethebee dang- i’m a minor too but when i told my parents what’s going on w me in detail they got me telephone therapy, because of covid we just use zoom instead

@saltedcrabs it’s still really helpful though!

@saltedcrabs im very happy to hear that, i hope you're doing well! when i told my mom, she said that it's all in my head and i need to get out more or be more productive, or that im dramatic.. i showed her an article describing my symptoms and she dismissed it. whatever, she'll see. btw how is online therapy? it seems like the only option available rn but isn't privacy an issue? i personally would feel hella uncomfortable talking to my therapist online with my family in the house

@feethebee eh i’m not really doing well atm sadly but it’ll pass, also i’m so sorry to hear that- that sucks i’m sorry! i hope you’ll be able to get therapy some other way then. also i can’t fully compare since i’ve never been in pre-covid therapy but i’d say online therapy is still pretty good! our apartment is small too so i also was weird about it but whenever we have our meetings i just ask my family to be quiet and move to my room lol no one listens in or anything. in fact no ones allowed to even be around when i’m on call with my therapist apparently it’s against the rules 😳

@saltedcrabs oh that's cool, I've heard some bizarre stories where teens would have to do their online therapy sessions in their car there because they didn't have privacy at their own house,, crazy shit

@feethebee dang 😔 that sounds super toxic thankfully my parents aren’t like that

thank you for your advice! i don't really think i have depression (although ocd can cause some depressive symptoms) because i don't really have any symptoms... i guess? my mood tends to fluctuate a lot, and i uploaded this post in the morning and the morning is always a bad time for me. not that i feel great now but nvm. nonetheless i will seek help at some point of course, once my family understands. once again tysm<3