- Username
- AdamH
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@deputydean Yes, exactly I don't fight the thoughts anymore, I try not to respond to them, I try to keep away from compulsions however since I started doing that it feels like I have become desensitised and the thoughts are not 'unwanted' anymore which is why I feel incredibly guilty, because for the last 15 years or so (since I was a child) I've been fighting these thoughts and feelings aggressively.
I’m going through this same thing. My OCD therapist told me that it is helpful to just say “so what?” when you start questioning whether what you’re doing is OCD or you. As people, even without OCD, we are changing all the time. So we never truly know who we are. The important part is to accept the unknown, and accept that what we are doing right now is who we are. But who we are will change. It’s something I’m working on that has been an uphill battle, but I hope it helps
@lizBee Thanks heaps for the advice, much appreciated. My therapist says the same however it doesn't fit right with me, accepting uncertainty with our obbessions is incredibly difficult at times because we should be able to live happily through our morals and values, and it feels like OCD is taking that away from me constantly, God I hope it's just another symptom that leaves over time.
It's not that you've accepted their contents, but them being there. You seem to acknowledge that there's nothing you can do but observe them. That's a good sign!
We're surprisingly similar. I've been fighting these thoughts for a long time as well. It just becomes something you're sick and tired of. It's like when you hate someone. At first everything they do irritates you. But after years of being around them they become meh.
Oh my gosh somebody feels the same.. this time it lasts a longer and I am nearly convinced my OcD is true..
I feel like that most of the time?
I feel like that, too
@AhmedH I know what you mean, I struggle with this constantly too. I’m hoping it gets easier for you
I think that's part of OCD, because I sometimes feel that way. OCD is the doubting disease.
Ofcourse, it makes us doubt so much however I feel sometimes that my desires are changing, it feels terrifying, because I don't react to the thoughts anymore, I feel very different, very guilty because those thoughts and feelings don't bother me anymore, it feels like I have accepted it.
I feel like I’ve lost my identity and I don’t even know who I am anymore. My OCD is saying I’m not a woman but I hate that. And I fear that it isn’t OCD, and that I just genuinely am trans or gender fluid or something. I just can’t accept that no matter how hard I try. All I want is to feel like myself again. Pronouns are a trigger for me and they’re literally EVERYWHERE. It’s just so difficult. In a way, I miss having harm OCD or existential OCD or even health OCD because atleast I was still me. But it isn’t fair to say that because as I was going through them, they were awful. The grass is always greener I guess. I’m just feeling a little bit hopeless and alone, because I don’t think ‘gender questioning’ is a very common theme.
I feel like no one knows the real me, I dont even know the real me anymore. OCD has been my identity for so long I always wonder who the f would I be without it. My thoughts and opinions change so rapidly I dont know if their my own anymore. My moods and emotions are so up and down I'm wondering what's the real way that I feel. Have I just been lying all my life.
Does anyone else feel like OCD is asking you to ruin your life and make decisions/things that you don't want to do because it's "what I secretly want"? It feels hard to even know what's real anymore.
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