🎄 If anyone has Scrupolosity OCD, Moral OCD or Existential OCD I would love to help you! I can share with you my story and testimony. I hope it offers hope!! And to make you feel less alone. I am here to chat and would love to offer any help I can with this daily suffering. I am posting this every day till Christmas. Even if it helps one person it is so worth it! 🎄

Wow! You’re doing AMAZING... I can definitely imagine how hard that must be to do and how awful the discomfort feels. But you’re doing awesome for sticking with it! 💪 Here’s how I deal with an obsession using ERP: Trigger: I’m trying to write a message, and my brain will mentally insert cuss words I could use in the message. I would NEVER cuss or write cuss words. EVER. Because I’m a Christian and I love God and I would never want to sin or do anything to displease Him, I love Him so much. But the cuss words keep popping in my head and I feel like I am the one mentally saying them! That freaks me out and terrifies me. Why would I cuss in my head?! My OCD likes to center around a really bad word too. Instead of trying to figure out whether or not I thought it, or ruminating on what the “right thing” would be about it (both ruminating and doing “the right thing” are compulsions), I would agree with the fear. “Yep, that’s right guys, I just said the F-word in my head. Yep, I said some awful words in my head just now, yep, I definitely just cussed in my head.” The anxiety flares, and I resist my compulsion of refraining from another activity when I haven’t done “the right thing”. I feel horribly wrong if I move on to something else without having done my “right thing” compulsion but I do it anyway, doing another activity. That’s how I’m doing it! Previously, I was accepting uncertainty about the obsession, not agreeing with it, and that helped A LOT. I felt better than I’ve felt in 1.5 years. But then my therapist had me actually agree with the fear, and so the anxiety isn’t coming down like before. I’ll check out that video you mentioned on if getting ERP right is a compulsion XD, but hopefully this will work even if it’s not working as well as before, hopefully it just needs time to work 😅

@Madison Aww thank you so much for that encouragement. It is very hard 😔.. But as I say sometimes, my worst now is definitely an amazing day for old me 2 years ago when the OCD first started! ERP and recovery is so tough.. But the only way forward! Oh my,wow your explanation is brilliant and I think I will write it down to try help me! Trying to figure out 'the right thing' is something I do soooo much. It's really tough.. Yes in short, don't worry about 'getting it right' because it sounds like. You're doing it perfect! There isn't a perfect /right way of doing it. You just keep trying your best with the exposure. I don't know, I might be wrong, it seems like you have an amazing therapist and great ERP exercises! But maybe it's a jump too soon? Like maybe you could do a step below that? Just for a few weeks to build up the tolerance? I'm not sure 😅just a thought. Thank you for your comment!!

@ButterflyStar Thank you so much! You know, that’s a great way to look at it. My worst day now is better than my worst day a few months ago... sometimes we don’t give ourself enough credit for the good days and the progress we’ve made! And you are so right. ERP is hard, but it’s our therapy and we WILL get through it! Thank you so so much! I hope I’m doing it right! I’ll definitely bring it up to my therapist though, she may have some thoughts on if it’s too hard/too soon or not! She keeps telling me not to go too fast because I’m so gung-ho. 😂😂 Hope your day was good today, and that you did some work on kicking OCD’s butt!

@Madison Thank you so much madison you really are such an encouragement!! I was wondering if you could help me, yes I am totally looking for reassurance, but I genuinely do not KNOW what to do. Like I'm honestly confused. So, as you know a big compulsion is prayer. Even good things I feel I must immediately thank God or else He will think I am ignoring Him by leaving Him waiting. And I never want to offend God. So, I went for a nice walk with some friends who were such a joy and we all had a great time. Right now I'm thinking, 'I need to go into prayer and thank God for the afternoon I had and for my friends.' then I feel anxious about this because prayer isn't nice for me anymore, I just often end up crying, yet squeezing out more words just incase I didn't thank Him enough for something😔. So next I think,' so this might be OCD'. Would it be a compulsion if I went and prayer right now? And then there is a real part of me who wants to thank Him for my friends and the afternoon I had. And now im just left in this limbo land of 'Whats the right thing to do?' but I often side with going to do the prayer, just incase I am being rude to God by not thanking Him. Sorry, I hope that makes sense 😅😅

@ButterflyStar Yep, that’s definitely 100% a compulsion! Actually the Bible says 1 Corinthians “let each man gives as he purposes in his heart, not of necessity or of compulsion.” <<< COMPULSION! See that? If you feel compelled to do something “or else”, it’s NOT God and He doesn’t want you to do that. He doesn’t speak with anxiety and compulsive urges! If you feel the urge to do it “or else”, it’s 100% a compulsion, and you must resist, sitting with the uncomfortable feelings (they WILL eventually lessen!) As for the real part of you that wants to thank Him? Go ahead! But when you feel compelled to add in more words because it’s “not enough”, that’s when you’ve gotta stop. People say “go with your gut” and err on the side of doubt, but with OCD it’s the exact opposite. OCD is the doubting disease so if you’re doubting what the right thing to do is, it’s just OCD and we must embrace that uncertainty! As hard as it is (believe me, I’m literally resisting a compulsion and trying to sit with the anxiety right now!)... we can do it!!! (And if you’re not sure if it’s OCD or not, or you doubt it’s OCD — that’s the most OCD thing ever! When in doubt, label it OCD. XD or sit with the uncertainty, let the anxiety pass naturally.)

@Madison Thank you soooo much!! I needed this help. Thank you!!

@Madison P. S. Doubting if its ocd or not aka the most ocd ever... Haha ahh so much of my day is in that!!

O wow really!! I'm glad I'm not alone.. Do you have an email address I can send it to? Its quite a personal testimony so I don't post it on comments. And I can drop and emoji underneath the comment if you like so you can delete it after!

@:) Danke!! I sent it to you. Check your inbox, and if its not there try the junk folder 📬

Hey madison! I'm not fully recovered but I am in recovery and doing much better each month slowly bit by bit. It's really tough isnt it. Are you in therapy? A lot of it stems back to my childhood!

@ButterflyStar I am SO glad you are getting better! I hope the rest of your recovery process is smooth sailing from here. 💖 Yes I am! I’ve been doing ERP with all my might. It’s so hard, but at first, it was working and I was SO happy! But then my therapist is having me do harder things that I’m not sure will work... do you think you could walk me through how you deal with an obsession, using ERP?