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Everyday that I live im questioning whether I’m really queer or not and I think it’s mostly because of internalised homophobia You’ve just got to remember that we’re conditioned from the second we pop out of the womb to view hetero relationships as the norm and we have a choice as adults to reevaluate how we feel about it
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@jasminex123 I can’t speak for the entire community but I certainly have, I’d feel guilty if I was “claiming” to be queer but wasnt really and I’d feel guilty if I repressed a crucial part of myself- there was no winning
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@jasminex123 14ish
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I understand what you mean by it setting in after OCD hit. As someone who thought she was bi for a long long time, I think it’s 100% just getting comfortable with the fact that there is no ‘normal’ orientation, and to disengage with the idea that you’re straight before you realise you’re not. One of the things I do is spread awareness about the community in general to a) normalize it and b) help maybe closeted or questioning queer folk know that they’re perfectly normal. It’s also about letting queer folk be queer without demanding evidence, or trying to disprove it. Some people like the same sex. Some people don’t. Some people think they do and then realise they don’t. Some people are curious. And all of that is 100% okay. I hope this helped :)
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@jasminex123 Neither haha. The one good thing about OCD is that it helped me realise I was something completely different than the straight-lesbian-bi orientations 🤷🏻♀️
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@jasminex123 I think I am aromantic. Im still getting used to it, but I think it’s for me. I’m pretty sure if it wasn’t for ocd and I came to this conclusion without all of that, I’d be able to say 100% but rn I’m sitting at about 90% sure lol.
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@jasminex123 I dont mind talking about this at all but I don’t want to accidentally fuel your compulsions 😅 if you’re asking to get reassurance or help you ‘figure it out’, it might not be the best
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Thank you! OCD impacted everything, so the feelings of shame were kinda hidden until now- I’m struggling with panic attacks due to it, and accepting myself feels like a bit of a challenge. This absolutely helped- thanks so much!
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@jasminex123 Um, since my sexuality isn’t the norm (best way I can say it without panicking) , I feel uncomfortable at times and get really anxious.
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@jasminex123 yea, I suppose so. That’s a part of my internalized homophobia. 😅
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@jasminex123 There’s a lot of slurs and hate crimes against people who feel the same I do. As well as unacceptance with identies. Thinking about that makes me anxious.
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@jasminex123 This seems like reassurance at this point. Why are you asking?
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@jasminex123 oh okay, my apologies! What kind of OCD do you have, if I may ask?
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@jasminex123 Oh, ok :)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
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- 17w
Is anyone here actually gay and has/had sexuality or religious ocd? I don't have it at all haha I'm a lesbian myself without socd or religious ocd but I'm just curious: what's it like and how did you deal with the whole "biggest fear coming true" thing?
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- 11w
So I haven’t been on this app in a while. But I just want advice on how to overcome this. I’m now 18 and I’ve been trying out dating apps. I’m not gonna lie I’m kinda picky when it comes to dating only because I plan on dating to marry…so I take it a bit more seriously. But for some reason it’s so hard to click with people on these dating apps. So my friend was helping me through this dating apps process. I told her that I wasn’t interested in this guy I was texting anymore because of the way he was responding to my messages. And she says maybe you’re gay…this is honestly the sixth time (I’m definitely over exaggeration but this isn’t the first time someone had said this to me) someone has ask/said this. Every time someone says this it literally sends me down this spiral of are they seeing something I’m not seeing. Despite never having a crush on a girl my mind goes down this loop of overthinking. And when I say I don’t want that lifestyle or I don’t really find pleasure in being apart of the lgbtq community my mind is like in denial. I just wanted to have a fun teenage dating experience and now every time I open the app I always think what if I really am gay and I’m just in denial…or what if the reason why I’m not connecting with anyone is because I’m really into girls. Since i’m also religious, my mom wants to go what you’re denying who we are because of your religion. And I tried to reassure myself by saying I would know if that was the case like I would feel deep down who I’m truly attracted to and know that I’m trying to cover it up by dating men. This whole thing is so mentally taxing because I was going through this all throughout my senior year of high school and I’m not going into my freshman year of college so. Like I literally felt so much anxiety next to one of my classmates who was gay and a masculine presenting. I feel like if I would’ve told this to anyone, they’d say of course you’re in denial. But ig reply if you can relate
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