- Username
- SoMi1907
- Date posted
- 3y ago
You can do this. I’ve been exactly where you are, so so many times. It feels awful, like you’re failing despite working so hard on exposures, reading all the books and articles. But when I feel that way, I allow myself to have a day. Do what you need to do, get it out of your system (DONT DO COMPULSIONS). And then once that time is up, no matter how much I don’t want to, I force myself to do something productive and meaningful for me. I give myself a pep talk and remind myself that ocd sucks but I’m grateful to have a disorder for which there is effective treatment and from which many many people have recovered. If others can do it, there’s no reason you can’t. And as always, remember that this too, shall pass. You got this, you’re not alone and you can do this.
One more thing, when you’re down, your OCD will likely latch onto that. “You can’t recover from this, what’s the point, clearly ERP is not working, bla bla”. Accept the thoughts, don’t respond to them and then decide that you are stronger than them.
THANK YOU ! It feels horrible, every pep talk I give myself leads to OCD attacking that. Like, "yeah ocd is manageable but what if you don't have it? What if you actually did dth bad and just try to weasel your way out'... It is so exhausting. But I know the drill... Accept uncertainty and move on, what is like, killing me
@SoMi1907 Yup it will latch onto anything including recovery. “This is not OCD, this is real. You’re in denial. You’ll never feel better.” The list is endless, OCD is very predictable. But if you’ve been through a low before and made it through, use that as motivation. I know it’s hard, it’s so so so hard, but it’s doable. And for you? Someone who’s done it before? Absolutely.
@NR2020 Gosh can I rent you for my morning pep talks? Thank you so much!!!
I get you, sometimes I just wanna give up. But I will never do...Have you listened to Kimberley Quinlan? Pod " The anxiety toolkit", I have learned a lot about grieving, sadness and selfcompassion through her, and it s so important when you live with a disorder like this. I will also recommend to make a little plan for each day: make sure you eat healthy, go outdoors, do some exercise, and that you connect with others. Your actions affect your mood. It took many tears for me to understand. Dont give up my friend!
I already take medication. I had a therapist who's not from here since I am in Europe and it's not available here
Many "years" I meant...but also many tears😊
Thank you so much for replying. It feels good to be heard..
Did you take therapy from here? Not better?
See a psychiatrist they will help you. Sounds like you need more than therapy like myself.
Thank you all for replying. I know it's more up to me. I have to commit more. I'll try!
@AK99 It really is like the dementhors... I already had depression when I was younger and I was so glad to get out of it. It panuckes the shit out of me to feel this kind of sadness and numbness again.
@AK99 I try 😅 Thank you for your kind words. I feel like a failure for going through it again. Like I can't do anything right, I hate to be the family member who always has some psychic shit going on. Especially around Christmas.
Please get off anti depressants they are the devillll
What?
Why? The ones I take are SSRI's
I just don’t know how much more of this I can take. I’m so fed up of the way my OCD makes me feel, plagued with thoughts that I hate my son, I don’t love my partner, I want to die, my life is pointless. I’m trying so hard, I’m doin ERP, I’m trying to carry on my life as normal but I just feel SO depressed. I am convinced that I am stuck like this forever now, clearly nothing is working and I’m just ready to give up 😢
I am so tired of struggling with this disorder. It’s officially chronic and so debilitating. I obsess over something new every single day. Yesterday it was the thought that I should never have children because of my HOCD, today it was how I’m never going to get married, the day before yesterday was all about never graduating and thinking I’m going to fail, before that it was obsessing over thinking someone abused me as a child or that my parents were narcissists, before that it was the death of my brother, before that it was my appearance and weight. It’s absolutely never ending and I have no consistency in my life. I feel so angry at my self today because yesterday was actually a good day for me and today it’s the absolute worst. I was completely unproductive and depressed. I’m so tired of this. I know I won’t even feel the same tomorrow. What will ever fix this? How do people actually heal from this disorder? No one in my life even understands what OCD is and my family truly doesn’t understand at all they think it’s weird I’m just labeling having thoughts and they don’t get how much it impacts my life. I’m incredibly tired and all I want is to be normal and live normally. I’ve been researching all day for almost 7 hours. It’s like I didn’t do it yesterday so it came back 10x worse today.
My new theme is existential ocd and I was doing okay-ish this week until I saw a tik tok last night about death and after death communication and it sent me on a downwards spiral of needing to constantly research and google what happens when we die again and honestly just makes me feel sad in general about it all because of the uncertainty. I feel so disconnected from everyone and I feel scared to even be alone. I have to work tommorow and feel like crying. Then my relationship ocd added with the already feeling disconnected from everyone makes me scared about what if I don't love my partner or like him and it makes me even more distressed. Im so tired of feeling like this, I've had different themes since I was 7 and I'm so tired of feeling like this. I'm so sad. I had the worst mental breakdown in decemeber and I still don't think I've fully recovered. I'm on new antidepressants but I'm still sad. I feel I'll never enjoy anything because it'll always be clouded by ocd. This is honestly more of a vent post more than anything but ahh im so tired.
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