my ocd is gonna ruin Christmas

thank you, have you got any tips?

@abbypengelly Just trying to be present and label it as OCD. Whenever it comes up label it and bring yourself back to something you are doing. Even if you have to do that 100 times keep doing it. Make space for everything you are feeling and know that no matter what you think or feel isn't bad they are just thoughts. It also doesn't indicate if something will happen or not. It's not our job to figure out what all of that means. Its content and not relevant. Also if you self harmed yesterday, don't beat yourself up for it and don't use it as an indicator that it will continue. Just stay present everyday and don't worry about the next day.

@reg285 thank you, Its so easy to get caught up and spiral and that's what I've been doing... it's so hard when you dont know what's true or not that's when I start to self harm cuz it's a defense mechanism

@abbypengelly I totally understand that and it's hard to know you are in the spiral until it's out of control. I have not self harmed but have had urges due to the ocd and not knowing what's true or not like you said. I hope you feel better!!

@reg285 thank you, I keep going through phases during the day of feeling absolutely fine and then I get those thoughts, that hasn't happend before so I feel like I might be getting better?

I cut myself for the first time in months last night, my rocd is horrible and last night my hocd that I havent had in over a year showed up and I can't go through it again its gonna kill me

@abbypengelly I'm so sorry you are having a hard time right now. I know its hard, but just try not to let the holiday pressure you. I know how it feels when it feels like you can't make it through. It feels terrible. But, it doesn't mean there is any truth to that feeling. Also when we are really triggered ocd will start to bring up all kinds of things and past obsessions. That's not an indicator that will last either. Are you seeing a therapist and are they available to speak with? What is the ocd telling you right now?

@reg285 yeah but my therapist doesnt really get it. I've gone back and forth between hocd and rocd today and sometimes at the same time, I keep getting urgent thoughts that I should break up with him and are using his past mistakes to validate that, also my hocd pop in telling me I should break up with him cuz I'm gay(I'm bi and I've always known that) and I get caught in this vicious cycle that makes me just want to die cuz I know that it's not true but it's not enough to stop the thoughts

@abbypengelly We all go through that you just have to always remember it could be worse and it gets better

@Anonymous it feels like it cant get any worse

@Anonymous This isn't a helpful comment when someone is struggling and it invalidates how they are feeling. It could be even worse for all of us, but it doesn't mean it's good right now.