Does anyone else feel insecure and bad about themselves whenever they see something many other people commonly have that they don't or have never gotten to begin with?

I didn't want to make it sound like it was mainly about love but that's what I feel like it's mainly about. Never fell for any girl, had a date, or relationship but I'm 19. I know it's not something you need in life though

@BigGip09 You do you man. I vowed to focus on my academics in college and within a two months came across the most spectacular woman I have ever met. It is just luck of the draw sometimes.

@nGfloat Congratulations! I'm glad I don't have any problems being happy for others that do get something so meaningful and rewarding in life. But much like a lot of other things, I feel that I'm missing out on an occasion or it's already too late. Can't help but have that burden on my shoulders. There are things that I do very much enjoy, such as music and my own. College isn't going too great though.

@BigGip09 Nah, but I met this girl at 19. I was in the same boat as you man! Give it time and don’t fret. What’s up with college?

@nGfloat Well college isn't what it used to be before this stupid pandemic. I had fun seeing people and actually got engaged with my classes overall. It was just fun getting out of my comfort zone with others and now doing classes at home has caused nothing but distress and this OCD to grow on me. I haven't met any girl at all that gave me feelings

@BigGip09 I think a lot of our feelings are distorted at the moment, OCD or not. Toil can amplify emotions at times but, more often, we just become weary. Be kind to yourself. Try to set yourself up for success man. You are deserving.

@nGfloat It's just hard when all this disorder does is feed on mistakes and fears. I can't stop having fears about jail, which has always been a fear in my life aside from being killed, but I guess if I die that's just it and nothing else. But even I think about the grey areas of my mistake logically, it almost seems like my OCD is just desperately looking for something for me to me doubtful about. It's so confusing, yet it's still sticks around

@BigGip09 OCD found the perfect victim in humans. We know too little to ever be completely sure, but know too much to remain in a state of blissful ignorance. You cannot attain certainty, especially when you attempt to evaluate the past. You can only act in the present and face what comes in the future. You are more than capable of doing both.

@nGfloat I don't want to dwell on the past or worry about the future. Being in the present is what I try to do all the time. I just hate the fear that something I did in the past may have been damaging for me and my future may be tarnished because of it. But when I focus on it, I can't seem to be certain of anything. So I just try not to look back anymore. My OCD only tends to worry about mostly sexual mistakes like sexting when I was younger and running into unwanted content online. Kind of like how my thoughts are so unwanted. Maybe it's false memories on the other side. I don't even know, but I don't want to figure it out either.

Sounds like you're trying to describe perfectionism, which I definitely do have problems with. It's complicated acknowledging the mistakes I made in the past and still trying to think that I'm good enough. But it's like everyone says, people are not their mistakes and the way I personally see it, there's good and bad in everyone and it's never too late for people to change. There's no such thing as just a bad person or just a good thing to me, because that would mean people would he perfect in a field. Humans aren't perfect

@BigGip09 I do struggle a lot with perfectionism, but never did I link the thoughts mentioned above with perfectionism. But maybe you're on to something! 🤔 I have so many obsessions around this so I have to deal living with the uncertainty of "maybe my life is ruined, maybe Im a loser, and maybe Im worthless". Having a hard time dealing with living with this uncertainty.