tmi warning last night I was having sex with my bf and a thought popped into my head that I'd rather be with a girl, I didnt get anxiety but I did feel uncomfortable, I'm bi so it makes it hard to deal with soocd. when I think about it I dont feel really anxious and panicky I feel okay with it, but I do feel uncomfortable at the thought of breaking up with him to be with a girl, any advice?

To me your matter is not related to your sexuality it's related to intrusive thoughts. If it wasn't for questioning yourself about your sexual preference AT this moment, it'd be for something else. The best thing to do is to not face your thoughts as enemies, let the doubt come and questions popping up into your head are absolutely normal. Your boyfriend has for sure already questioned himself as everybody does so. The real matter for people having intrusive thoughts is not the intrusive thoughts themselves, it's the IMPORTANCE given to them the real problem. Uncertainty is part of life and the more we don't accept that the more we attempt to control everything and here come the bad circles and rituals.

I have these thoughts too! I’ve just avoided sex because I’m so afraid so the fact that you’re not letting it ruin that for you is amazing!!

It depends to each person concerned by intrusive thoughts so I can't tell exactly how you should do, not knowing you but below are some suggestions : - Talk to your boyfriend about your thoughts in order to dedramatize them he'll probably share his experience and that's a good way to bound each other on the subject - When the thoughts come accept the uncertainty of being aroused differently or with someone else etc do not try to face them as if these thoughts were 100% mean -sometimes what I did in your case was to do both acceptance of the uncertainty and 50%approval like "yeah ok maybe I'm open minded I could be aroused differently or with someone else" Flirt with the uncertainty and do not see this as something mean. Everybody has those kind of questions popping up into their head. As I mentioned above your questions are not your enemies, it's rather your interpretation and reaction to your thoughts you should care of. If it's really bothering you do not hesitate to consult a specialist who's supposed to better understand how to deal with your issues. Hope this will help you at least a little.

Exactly that's the doubt of #If I wasn't anxious about that yesterday while making it with my bf maybe it means I'd rather be with a girl" and I cautioned it by not feeling bad about it#. The circle is created by your willing to be 100% sure of not being aroused the moment you wanna take pleasure with your bf. But here's the trap! Not accepting the doubt pushes you in a trouble in which you feel guilty for not being able to be completely sure you couldn't be aroused by a female while you're with your bf. The trap again, isnt your thoughts, the trap is the importance given to them because everybody feels the same and ask to themselves the same questions. But I fully understand it's complicated I myself am stuck in ocd it's a real matter of not trusting ourselves daily and feel guilty easier than common people mostly because of troubles while children or genetics anyway I'm with you!