- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
you should tell your boyfriend about this fear I feel like he might have some comforting words..
- Date posted
- 6y
As a Muslim myself who has studied Islamic Law, I can tell you from the Islamic perspective, it is absolutely permissable to marry an individual from another faith. However, if you are a practising Catholic, you really should make sure with certainty that your faith permits you to get married to a person from another faith, because OCD might make your situation worse, possibly increase symptoms of severe guilt, shame, regret, fear of sinning etc. Just friendly advice, I hope things work out :)
- Date posted
- 6y
Hmmmm, the islamic contract is a religious contract aswell though. Wait and see what your friends say, I feel for you, it shouldn't have to be this stressful.
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh .. I don't know about church laws but if a priest says it's ok then he knows best right? you should trust what they say and I'm sure the priest that knows your friend is gonna say so to. sometimes the worrying gets out of control but trust yourself :) interreligious marriage is not a sin. try to talk it out with someone from the church while the lawyers get back to you. just so you can calm yourself.
- Date posted
- 6y
The Bible does not say you can’t marry a nonbeliever. There are even verses that say that a spouse can lead their significant other to the truth. Idk if you are trying to change him but knowing that it has been done and okay in the Bible may give you comfort.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you! Im not trying to change him. I just keep worrying because of the ceremonies. The church law says you cant do more than one, but I dont know if the Muslim one falls under that since its more contract than relegious ceremony. People keep telling me its ok, but İm scared that These lawyers will only take a look at the law, where it says "no" and tell me so and then my OCD mind will take that as a sign telling me that God is against this marriage...so im basically worrying about possibly having to worry again in the future, but also I cant seem to relax until I know what their answer will be... I dont know if that makes sense..
- Date posted
- 6y
Have you sought the advice or a legal verdict from high priests? catholic clergy?
- Date posted
- 6y
Hey first of all congratulations! I'm not religious myself but I wan't to tell you its all going to be ok. You're very strong! You're going to be a happy married and loving couple :) x
- Date posted
- 6y
Also my strongest OCD theme is fear of me going to hell, so this situation is especially challenging .... :(
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks for your reply! I talked to him about it several times, he comforts me and says its gonna be ok, but I dont want to keep bothering him with it because then my OCD starts telling me how annoying I am to him and how he will leave me... :(
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you :) Yeah I have to work in my trusting...
- Date posted
- 6y
*on
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes, there seems to be no 100% certainty but those ı talked to said they thought it was ok because its more like a contract and less a religious ceremony. Also this lady I talked to asked a bishop for me who told her the same so İ stopped worrying. But now my friends is asking these church lawyers and Im scared they will say no and then ı will start worrying again...
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you so much Ruthi!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Hi everyone, I’m reaching out for support. Right now I feel like OCD is “winning” in my life and I feel suffocated and alone. This is my story and I would love any support, guidance, or advice. Long post, but I appreciate anyone that reads it. I’m a 28 year old Muslim middle eastern woman. My family immigrated to Canada when I was a kid. I’ve never been very religious but I consider myself a believer. I also believe that religion is extremely personal and that my relationship with God is mine only. My faith hasn’t always been strong, it goes up and down. My family, although not super religious, has always valued tradition and my parents have always wanted me to marry someone Muslim and Arab. They are very adamant about that and very against mixing with other cultures and faiths. My father passed sway in my early twenties, and I’ve always struggled with doing things that he wouldn’t approve of and having him be disappointed or ashamed of me. I was very close to my dad - his death was really traumatic and I miss him everyday. I am in a relationship with a kind, caring man who loves me and takes care of me. We were friends first and I tried to not let things progress past friendship because I knew my family would never approve. But eventually we both confessed feelings and that led us to a relationship. He makes me happy and has healed many things in me that were wounded from past relationships. He’s Punjabi Sikh, so our cultures and faiths are different. He is not religious at all. When we first started talking about dating, he said to me that if he had to do an Islamic marriage to be with me that he would do it. If that’s what it took to be with me, he’d do it. That for me was the push I needed to go for it, and let myself get into a relationship with my friend and now lover. He even says that he’s open to our kids learning Islam. He just wants our kids to also learn about where he comes from, of course. I knew that my family wouldn’t approve, but having the Islamic marriage would be extremely important to maybe eventually have them accept my decision. My boyfriend has always been aware of my OCD and is always willing to do whatever it takes to support me. As we’ve navigated dating and being in a relationship we’ve had some challenges with my ROCD, and we’re actively working on it with exposure therapy. We’ve also had general relationship obstacles that we’re learning to work through, like communication and having different love languages. I tend to be anxiously attached and I get panic attacks when I think I’m losing people close to me. So even just the idea of a break up makes me feel sick. In all honesty, being in a relationship has been really hard on my mental health. My therapist says it’s like being in constant exposure- which can be exhausting (I always have the thought “being single is so much easier because there’s way less triggers” but I don’t want to believe that or let it dictate my life). My big struggles right now are guilt from hiding my relationship from my family, and dealing with constant ROCD intrusive thoughts like: “is he the one? You want someone from your own culture, your mom is right, this is never going to work and you’re going to be unhappy and divorced. You don’t want to mix cultures, you’re going to hate it, stop pretending to be open to it… your aunts and uncles are going to disapprove and cut you off, you’re going to be judged by everyone, your kids are going to be so confused about their identity, travelling back home is going to be so weird and not the same, so you should break up with him”. Often, this causes me to “test” the relationship or look for problems and create arguments. It’s a toxic cycle, and I’m so ashamed of it. I also often struggle with thoughts like “you’re lying to yourself, you want someone from your culture, you’re a bad person for leading him on, you’re a liar”…. “You did this to yourself by dating outside your culture”. Ultimately, I feel torn. How am I meant to know if I actually want to be in this relationship or if I want to do what my family approves of (and what would be easier)? How do I manage the thoughts that tell me opposing things? I have frequent panic attacks and when things are bad, they happen daily and are very debilitating. This is where I’m at right now, and this is the part that terrifies me. I don’t want to be stuck like this. I don’t want to lose my boyfriend. That thought terrifies me and I don’t think I can handle that. He means so much to me. I also don’t want to be suffocated by thoughts - if I have them every day first thing in the morning, does that mean I need to listen to them? I’m struggling so much and I feel so hopeless. I wouldn’t wish these feelings on anybody, ever. I want to feel at ease, more than anything.
- Date posted
- 23w
I have terrible ocd. Lots of different subtypes but the one that bothers me most is religious ocd. The advice I've been given is to go to only one priest for confession (I'm Catholic) and to listen to his advice. I've been doing that lately and I'm actually taking his advice (like, for example, that if I committed a mortal sin, I'd know for sure.. When there's doubt about whether or not I've done smth wrong, it's likely not mortal and I can recieve communion). I've read that this is good advice for scrupulous ppl. So I'm finally taking his advice but it's so scary! My biggest fear is receiving the Eucharist in a state of mortal sin.. But I need to trust what the priest is telling me. Any other Catholics in this situation? I'm proud of myself for actually taking his advice but it's terrifying at the same time..What if I'm fooling myself and can't admit to myself that I actually did commit a mortal sin, but he sees it as doubt..like, I don't know if I'm doubting I've sinned or if I'm in denial about sinning.. If anyone knows what I mean..I also realize that full will needs to be involved in mortal sin and the presence of doubt is often a sign that even if I did sin, it wasn't fully willful so that's why it's not mortal.. But I'm still unsure and afraid. But that's probably cuz I have ocd and anxiety. Lol.. I'm just wondering if anyone else has been in this situation.. And if it gets easier to listen to your confessor's advice even though it's scary and not what your OCD wants.
- Date posted
- 20w
Could this be OCD or is this a valid reason to want to cut things off. I like a Muslim man, but I’m not. He lives in Europe and I live in the US, and I feel like this has created a huge rift for me. I’ve started to give up on the idea of pursuing this because I don’t want to get married early and I don’t want to waste his time on someone that doesn’t have his beliefs. What is the best course of action?
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