I breathe and my brain goes: “You should stop. You don’t deserve to be alive. Die.” I don’t know what to do I’m genuinely tired of my thoughts and the pain. I want to stop existing.

Sadly, going out somehow makes me even more anxious.

I used to love running but now, after the pandemic started, the idea of going out, even for a walk, terrifies me.

@sire What about if you just mask up and go out and run find like a secluded place where u don’t have to be around people

@Dre83 I am going out now and when i come back home i am gonna reward myself with cup of coffee

@Dre83 Where I live there aren’t any places like that nearby I’m afraid.

@snugglles Nice

I tried exercising in my room but my anxiety just made it really hard to breathe and I just ended up crying on the floor. Also, I tried to look for an OCD specialist where I live and there are none so I don’t know what to do. (Sorry I deleted the post accidentally)

I’m currently getting therapy from a psychologist but they don’t specialize in OCD. However, I don’t know if what I’m feeling is mostly from my OCD or from my depression and anxiety. I feel hopeless.

@sire From what I’ve learned from therapy is that OCD stems from anxiety. For me personally, my depression stems from the anxiety and OCD. If you have been diagnosed with OCD it may be beneficial to see an OCD specialist unless your psychologist is trained in ERP therapy. Just trying to offer some suggestions, I’ve been there hopeless, irritated, frustrated and empty. The NOCD program works because it equips you with the tools to battle this jerk each day it pops its head in to see what else can scare you. I hope you find a solution that’ll work for you

@sire Ok so I see you aren’t in the US. Have you tried using the app for exposure therapy? Try to list an obsession that is gives you the least anxiety first and do an exposure. The app will help you set it all up

@NOCD Advocate - Danielle I have but it always ends up with me getting even more anxious and blaming myself for not being able to do ERP.

@sire Ok I understand been there, done that, took a pic and bought a souvenir. It was my story each and every day. I still have to push myself in good days to do ERP. I believe the app has upgraded so it may give you suggestions that coincide with your theme. Baby steps..

@NOCD Advocate - Danielle I will try to do more ERP soon. Hopefully it will slowly help.

@sire Ok. You’ve got this! I know you’ve heard it already but I know you can do this! Remember baby steps, be kinder to yourself, we all on the same journey, just put your best foot forward in trying. 😁

@sire I had to get a reminder today from my NOCD therapist to write my exposures down, which I was afraid of, saying things is quite different from reading your own writing and repeating the exercise until I don’t feel quite as anxious anymore. But I can and I will! I can either be the problem or solution. I pick solution!!

@NOCD Advocate - Danielle Thank you for all that advice, it truly means a lot. I will try to work on doing ERP slowly to see if it helps and remind myself it’s okay to take my time.

No :(

@sire Sorry :( Have you talked to your therapist about doing ERP ?

@Hopefloats227 I have not because I’m terrified of doing ERP......