i’m not sure if this is a part of ocd, something else, paranoia or something that most people go through .. but i have an issue with posters or action figures “staring” at me. i feel like they can hear me, see me, or know what i’m thinking. it was worse when i younger. i couldn’t even get changed in my own bedroom unless i took down my posters. that’s why i my room has been minimal in decorations since. i recently went against my own uncomfortable feelings & put up a figurine on my dresser. when i first did it, i thought, “what if i’ll never stop thinking about this every time i enter my room.” and felt an unhappy feeling wash over me. but i forced myself to let it be. it hasn’t been a problem. (i am talking abt it now / thinking abt it so i’m a little anxious again) i’m wondering if anyone goes through anything similar ? am i just nuts?

does anyone else get flashbacks of things they’ve seen due to giving into their compulsion??? whenever i’m having a remotely normal time or having fun or thinking of making a big decision i have flashes of videos or pictures or just made up scenarios that are related to horrible things i’ve seen and compulsively watched and did stuff with. it immediately kills my mood and makes me ruminate about it and i think about it over and over. i find myself wondering if ocd drew me to do those things or if it was genuine attraction. what if im a horrible monster who’s into awful and illegal and morally wrong stuff??? what if im using ocd to cover it up and it’s not ocd it’s just i thing i was into??? these thoughts are never ending and show up at the worst times. i’m terrified all the time. it renders me sick & unable to make any decision because i’m afraid if i choose to do so it’ll make everybody aware of the things child me/young teenage me did. it feels like all my past traumas and experiences are being blasted on a jumbotron. i’m even scared to post this. again does anyone else know what i mean + does anyone know how to “get over” this feeling/any tips???

I have OCD around being a bad or a “weird,” person. I use to be in therapy twice a week for two hours at a time because I was in such bad shape with it. Eventually I moved to once a week at two hours at a time, and now I’m down to just once a week, an hour at a time! I was also put on Lexapro, stayed on it for a year and just weened myself off in Nov. I do feel proud of myself, but today someone said something that was pretty triggering and I’m feeling funny now. Since I was a little girl, if I find someone I liked a lot, I wanted to know everything about them. This typically only happened with older adults and always women. It was always very harmless. I just lived in my head a lot with them always on my mind. Then Facebook came out where you could find out anything about anyone. I could go on to someone’s Facebook page, scroll through their page, pictures, and if I was really interested in them, could find out who their family was through their friends list, etc. Then I’d visit their families FB pages all the time out of just interest (or I guess you could call it being nosy, I don’t really know.) If I really felt interested in them, Id google them, look up their house, just weird stuff like that. I could end up knowing everything about them or their family. It had never caused me any harm or them any harm. I never really thought about it being weird or anything. But one day I woke up and was like, “what if I’m a stalker. What if this person knew that I knew who their parents are, their siblings, etc., etc.?” I got in to an absolute downward spiral about it and felt like such a weirdo, a creep, a freak. Seriously, I’m a pretty normal person. I’m married, kids, husband, stay at home mom, have the same friends I’ve had since middle school, high school, whatever. My therapist didn’t think this was a big deal and I was always scared she was just being nice. I made her promise me to tell me if anything I told her sounded off. Anyway, I was on the phone tonight and the person I was talking to, was talking about someone else and she said, “yeah, I mean she just looks people up and needs to know everything about them. That’s why she could be so good at being a private detective, or something like that. She’s kinda stalkerish.” It hit me hard. I felt like I needed to tell her that maybe she wouldn’t like me either because I can be the same way. I didn’t though. I didn’t get off the phone or do anything with it. If this was a year ago, I’d be in the bathroom vomiting, pacing the floor, taking my anti anxiety med. Today, I just dealt with the uncertainty of her not knowing that I can be the same way. I’m doing ok, but I’m so curious, is it just me that does this kind of thing? Is there anyone else that does this kind of thing? Is this abnormal? I know that it is what it is, but my phone conversation tonight kinda opened up that stuff for me a little bit and now I’m feeling like a freak. Thank you if read this and if you respond.😊

i have been diagnosed with OCD & generalized anxiety disorder. for some reason, i’ve been very hyper aware of everything. like the way i talk, the way i see the world, how certain things sound/look/feel, and it’s very distressing. i feel like the hyper awareness makes me afraid of things? like for some reason, my mind attached to cartoons, and i was hyperfocusing on it, and got extremely scared, like scared of the cartoon for no reason? i’ve done this a lot, and i get scared i have psychosis or schizophrenia, or something that makes you afraid of things for no unknown reason. i feel so scared that this is my new normal…. im heartbroken. so many what if’s. did i just ruin my own life?? 💔