How is everyone today?

Better than I was yesterday

Regardless of what type of OCD we all have it all boils down to the same thing.. ANXIETY!! It’s not our thoughts that get people into trouble. Thoughts can not hurt us! They simply cannot and I know that’s hard to grasp but that’s the truth in the matter. 95% of all people admit to having intrusive thoughts and the other 5% are full of fucking shit. The problem is our REACTION to a particular thought that gets us in a bind. If we can all go day to day believing that our thoughts can do no harm then that really is the first step to a recovery base tactic. I’ve had severe anxiety for over 16 years now and when I look back to my patterns as a young boy my overall reaction to a lot of what I was thinking or how I felt is what led me to develop OCD! If I could only go back in time but I can’t. I still have intrusive thoughts ! Daily ! Hourly all day every day but a part of me has learned to accept my brain as partially broken. We all try so hard to surprise the thoughts and this is what gets us into more trouble and gets us further down the rabbit hole. ACCEPT, EMBRACE, CONTROL! These three steps of practiced can really make a difference. Accept your thoughts. Accept your mind don’t run don’t suppress ! Embrace. Run towards and demand more anxiety when your feeling it come no matter what type of OCD you have ask for more . Say is this all you got!!! Demand the pain demand the thoughts to hit stronger and harder. The only reason OCD is such a fucking beast is because we’re all scared shittless that we’re either insane, bipolar, possibly schizophrenic, or that we are capable of the unthinkable. The fact of the matter is that it couldn’t be further from the truth but we don’t believe in ourselves enough to embrace the fear and challenge it! When you let your thoughts be they will let you be and that quote comes from an individual recovered from pure O! When we can get to a place where our minds no longer scare us then guess what?? The thoughts stop coming, and even when they arise we know what it is. We accept the thoughts for what They are which is just a thought and move on. Use humour. Laugh at your self laugh at how stupid your thoughts truly are. I don’t care if you think about harming people. Killing family members, raping children or committing suicide! At the end of the day the fact that the thoughts we continue to have are uncomfortable because of the irrationality of them is a perfect indication that we would never act on them anyways. Fear is not real! The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts about the future. Control! Once we can all learn control of our minds combined with Acceptance and embracing the fears then your one step closer. I’ve personally been wasting a large amount of my life worrying that I’m going insane, crazy or that it’s only a matter of time before I finally lose control. I’ve had some of the worst cases of OCD from harming my beautiful babies, to urges of attacking strangers and all the people in my life that I value. I’ve been fighting this fucker a long time and I’m to the point where I’m really starting to just let go! OCD is known to attack all the things in life that people hold most value to their heart so ask yourself is this really me? Or is this just OCD. Your OCD will tell you that it’s just you but if you look close to your values and who you know that you truly are you’ll soon see that this is just OCD and that your anxiety disorder is just as lame and boring as thousands of other people. Knowledge is power and the more you can educate yourself on this beast of a condition the less it will continue to ruin your life. There are some awesome audio books I like one is OCD anxiety and related depression. Listen to that 8 hour book and you’ll soon see anyone can get over this. DARE is another good book . And if any of you sign up to OCD stories and listen to the podcasts it’s $11 usd per month and can really help out as well. Happy weekend everyone! Now go fucking live your lives to the fullest. When you die there is a date on the left side of the grave stone. This is the day you were born, and to the right is the day you die. Between those dates there is a dash and that dash in the middle of those two dates are the most important thing on that rock. What you do with your life between those two dates is the only thing that matters , so it’s time we all utilize the short time we have on this planet to live, and quite wasting precious time running on the endless hamsters wheel stuck in our own minds worried about shit that ain’t even fucking true !! Cheers guys Curtis

Ya it definitely does 100% less than a year ago I wanted to die and there are still times if question wether or not I can get through life. My passion these days is to turn it all around. I’ve been repeating the same ways of life combined with the same thought process for a long time. They call OCD the self doubting disease for a reason and that’s why it feels so real. It’s listed as one of the worsts mental disorders so there is no doubt that for anyone with this that they question themselves regularly on if it’s real or not and I’m no exception. The thing that has helped me is I’m starting to believe in myself if only just a little bit . I started obsessing as a young boy and I grew up in an alcoholic environment. I turned to alcohol and drugs at a young age and coped and hid my shit for over 2 decades. When my first child was born in 2013 I had a thought of harming him or killing him! It was one of the worst times of my life. I got to a point where I couldn’t even pick up a knife in my kitchen to cut steak without breaking into a sweat. You wanna talk about self doubt that’s as bad as it can get. I fought and suppressed these thoughts for the next 5 years . I never even knew I had OCD I just thought I was fucking crazy. My second son was born in 2015 and things never got any better and by 2018 I was sure that I probably should just kill my self before I got to someone else. Here’s the thing. I love my children they mean the world to me. I’m a successful man that owns two homes in one of the most desirable places in western Canada and work for one one the largest oil companies globally. I’m a good husband a great friend and an excellent father. My point is no matter what you got or how good it looks from the outside OCD can torture you daily hourly weekly and yearly. It wasn’t till I seen my psychologist and he said something that I will never forget. Curtis if you were going to act on any of all the intrusive thoughts that you’ve had over the last 6 years you would have done it a long time ago. That combined with audio books , meditation and exercise and diet is what is steering me in the right direction. Long answer to your question but yes it feels real but it’s not! It’s just fucking not and the more you allow yourself to question yourself if it is real or not the longer it lasts. Every harm thought I have right now pretty much just comes and goes and I pay very little attention to them. Not to say I don’t struggle in other areas because I do with relationship OCD with my wife, and other self doubting thoughts of going crazy . I work on this shit daily and I’m going to be challenging myself in 2019 like I never have before. I fly from AB to BC Canada every week for work and this July 4 I’ll be riding my bike from Kelowna BC to Calgary AB over 500 miles in 6 days. The reason I mention this is because I can sit back and and live the same life and spin in circles or I can start to challenge myself and do what people do to recover. I’ll be riding for OCD and mental illness and I don’t care if I earn 2 bucks I’ll be doing it for myself. OCD is no joke and it does feel real, but once again it’s the furthest thing from the truth

So far pretty shit. How about yourself?

@deputydean I hope you feel better soon:(( I’m not great either really, what type of ocd do you have?

It’s bloody shit at times tho ! But I stay strong n try n not challenge my thoughts

I’ve had a few different ones, but latest has been pocd, which is bloody hard to deal with. I’m doing a lot better than I was a month ago

What’s yours Keeley ? It is hard but I’m doing a lot better, at times just hate it but at times I’m ok

I’m 18 and always feel like I’m the only one going through it but I know that there are hundreds of young people going through the same thing

@keeleylouise HOCD and lately ROCD. It's pretty tough. I see you have HOCD as well.

Just need to stay strong ? don’t tangle with your thoughts as you will make them worse. Let them ride and in time you will be ok, breathing techniques are good !

Shit to be honest

You're on a good path. Half the challenge is not paying attention to the thoughts. I reached a point where I felt like I wanted to die and that my life had no purpose.

@deputydean I’ve been there too

Wow you have certainly been through a lot but I’m so glad you are pushing yourself and getting better! And that’s excellent that you are doing that for ocd it’s something I would like to do when I recover (if I ever do)

Don’t say If I ever do! Start telling yourself today that I will recover. Set up a challenge. Focus on your dreams and chase them . Don’t wait for a miracle to fall on your lap it won’t happen! And if you have something in mind that you think will benefit you anxiety or OCD then make that your obsession. I’m far from recovered my friend I’m just getting started , and what I decided to do this year seems impossible for most people including myself . If anyone ever wants to get to the other side it takes commitment and dedication. Don’t sit back for 20 years like I did thinking about all the ways that you can make your life better just hop on board with me and make this shit happen

Thank you! This may sound stupid, but did you ever worry that exposing yourself to your obsessions would make you realize they are true ?

Today was okay actually ?

@jqybaggs8 I’m glad to hear

@jaybaggs8 what type of ocd do you suffer from?

@jaybavgs8 you are doing the right thing but I agree it is incredibly difficult

I haven’t had pocd but I can’t imagine how terrible that would be, that’s great your doing better though

I have Hocd it’s horrific

@cato4 sorry to hear that but it will get better keep pushing on

@deputydean my Hocd is at the point where I’m more used to the thoughts but it still freaks me out :((

@curtis thank you! Does your ocd ever feel real? It’s so annoying

Even though they’re not

That’s very typical of most people trying to practice ERP. For example one who might think he’s gay for example might worry that if he exposes himself or herself to the obsession that they will find out that there worst fear of being gay might come true. BTW this has nothing to do with my story I’m just making an example. By doing this the person may not want to try exposure therapy in case there obsession is not just an obsession that it is in fact FACT. If your struggling with this , no matter what the thought is all I can say is just do it ! Don’t run from the truth because eventually it can catch up to you . If you know darn well that your obsession is not true then you can simply write this off as nothing more than OCD. However if your not sure and your afraid of exposing yourself to your obsession because your nervous to find the truth behind the thoughts then I can only say go for it. Finding yourself and learning to believe in yourself like I said earlier is truly the right step in the directions you need to take to find peace of mind.