Today has been horrendous and I just need help

I’ve posted a few things today. I’m having a really hard time with erotic dreams. I have SOOCD and my dreams and current intimate relationships have made me fall even further into ocd

@wellwellwell Do you want to talk, I can give you my snapchat?

@amineb04 I don’t have a Snapchat! I’m sorry! Can we talk here?

@wellwellwell That's okay, wdym by erotic dreams or do you not wanna talk abt it

@amineb04 I have dreams where I seduce men. But I get turned on by like doing sexual things to them in the dream. Not them doing things to me. Which makes me think my brain is only turned on by women not men

@wellwellwell Ah okay, well have you noticed that it's men that you dream about, not women? And some of the things women do to men, you can't rly do sexually to women?

@amineb04 No I know. But it’ll be like me exposing myself to a man or something and that turns me on. So is it that I liked naked women because I’m naked in the dream?

@wellwellwell That's a good question, and I can't come up with the answer for you, but if it helps, I'm a bisexual male and I still tend to dream about women way more than men. Dreams don't determine your sexuality :) that being said, i don't think you are attracted to women because there's no women in your dreams, only you

@amineb04 Yeah that’s true. I mean I have no idea. Normally, I’m always having sex with a man in the dream but it does feature me exposing myself or something. Which scares me because I’m not dreaming about penis or something. I think I’m over thinking. Who knows. Thank you for your responses, I know I sound really weird rn

@wellwellwell Nah you don't sound weird, you need to remember that OCD is weird, but never you. You're nice, ocd isn't. You're not a liar. Ocd is. Maybe you could be exposing yourself because you're just, simply, having sex with the guy?

@amineb04 Yeah, I mean I don’t think it means anything. It’s just arousing in the dream to have a man look at me sexually and to be sexual toward a guy. My brain just can’t accept that unless I dream of penis lmao

@wellwellwell Wdym?

@amineb04 Unless my sex dreams about specifically about looking at penises or just looking at men naked, my brain thinks it means I like women

@wellwellwell Well you do wake up, so you can't know what would've happened if you stayed asleep?

@amineb04 No. I’m saying more like if my sex dreams involve kissing and stuff, but it’s arousal from that and not looking at like the male anatomy, even if I’m with men in my dream, my brain finds reason to doubt. I should note I’m not super aroused by naked men or penises so this definitely plays into those fears

@wellwellwell Oh I can see how hard that must be for you :(

@amineb04 Yeah🥴

@wellwellwell So pretty much I’m perpetually afraid of being gay bc of that

@wellwellwell Sorry to hear, ik you don't have snapchat so if you ever want to talk then try message me here somehow

@amineb04 Okay! Thanks for talking to me!! I’m married so this has really messed up my intimate life

@wellwellwell I can imagine :( how old r u?

@amineb04 23!

@wellwellwell Wow, I'm 16, 17 in less than three weeks aha

@amineb04 Aw awesome!! Happy almost bday!

@wellwellwell Thanks :) hope you and your husband figure things out soon :)

@amineb04 Thank you. I just want to be okay again without constantly fearing I’m gay in denial

@wellwellwell It seems like you the time you don't spend wondering whether or not you're gay is spent searching for proof that you're straight. Have you considered that u may be bisexual like myself?

@amineb04 I mean maybe? The thing is I just don’t really find women attractive in person or romantically. I’ve only ever desired men. In like a pornographic sense, women are appealing. But I usually imagine myself in the female shoes. I just have always wanted to be with men and I feel attracted to men. Does any of this sound like your experience?

@wellwellwell More than anything, I fear I don’t really like men

@wellwellwell I started questioning when I was 14. I was getting changed for PE/Gym and I noticed another guy who was topless. I couldn't stop staring at him. Then I noticed that there was another guy. Why couldn't I stop staring? After a few weeks I started to question. "I like girls so how can I be gay?" But then I was also like "how can I be straight if I keep looking at his chest?"

@amineb04 Eventuality I realised what bisexual actually meant

@amineb04 Yeah, I just didn’t really have that with girls in gym or anything? Or in person ever. It was always porn. Thank you for sharing your experience!!

@wellwellwell The label doesn’t seem super right for me but maybe I’m in denial. That always scares me. I’m way more concerned I don’t like men

@wellwellwell Well you said the dreams turned you on, were there other girls in the dreams or just you? No problem :)

@amineb04 Just me! Maybe there would be a girl but I wouldn’t interact with her. If I was turned on, it would be by a man using her sexually

@wellwellwell I'd say try to take note in your next dream of whether there is a girl and whether it turns you on.

@amineb04 Okay! I’ve had those on occasion when dealing with the obsession but even if I was turned on, i felt really stressed in my dream and upset

@wellwellwell Do you think I sound bi?

@wellwellwell To be honest, I kinda think you do, but that's okay :)

@amineb04 May I ask why?

@wellwellwell It’s okay! I asked. I just don’t understand because I genuinely never feel attracted to women in my life or feel for them that way

@wellwellwell Well you just said you've had dreams of women that have turned you on

@amineb04 Well the thing is, it was like straight porn. Like watching a woman interact with a man in my dream

@wellwellwell I basically only dream of sex with men

@wellwellwell When you had the dream, were you focusing on the man or woman more

@wellwellwell You know what though, it doesn’t even matter regardless! I’m trying to accept my feelings. More than anything, I fear not loving men or being attracted to men. So these fears about being attracted to women have nothing to do with that anyway, right? I’m letting anxiety get to me. I just want to be with my husband lol

@wellwellwell I don’t remember to be honest, it was after I had sex with a man in my dream

You’re right! I’m just scared of being gay so I’m afraid to have sex

@wellwellwell Just go ahead and have sex. I’m pretty sure your husband wouldn’t mind 😂😂

@OCDhurts I know, but I’m afraid I’m leading him on. Ugh I don’t know, it doesn’t make sense

@wellwellwell Lead him on and then let him takeover. Sex should be mutually giving. I don’t know anything about your guys relationship but I am a guy and we like to lead unless we’re tired and then we’ll let you let you lead till we catch our breath 😂😂😂😂