TW 18+ I’m 3 months free from my porn/masturbation addiction. It was horrible and it caused a lot of pain to me and my relationship. As proud as I am to say I’ve beat it, I am also extremely ashamed and guilty. My OCD has focused on making me feel guilty about it every second of every day. I was introduced to porn at age 9 by my dad. By age 14 I was already a regular user and I never went more than 3 days in a row without it until age 26. I feel so guilty to have hid this from my partner and I was only able to break free from it once I came clean. I feel like a horrible human being. I know a lot of people will claim that porn addiction isn’t real but I’m here to tell you that it is. It ruined my life. The fact that my partner still wants to be with me is surprising to me. I feel both grateful and unworthy at the same. Coming clean enhanced my ROCD and Cheating OCD. I became suicidal because of the shame. I feel like my relationship will never be the same, but ill die trying to make it up to her. I’ll do everything in my power to make my partner as happy as I possibly can and if she decides to leave me then I guess I deserve it. I know this post isn’t too OCD related but I just wanted to get this off my chest. Thank you for allowing me to vent.

I’m so proud of you! I know how hard it can be. You got this. Sending you love and success

Thank you man I appreciate you

It really is. I think society tries to downplay it by saying “it’s just porn everyone watches it”. I’m glad I was able to break free now instead of another decade or two from now.

@Soulful Livin They do try to downplay it for sure.

You got this man. I know you can also break free. You’re a lot stronger than you think. I was scared and embarrassed to share my story but I’m glad it served to inspire you. If you ever need someone to talk to that can relate I’m alway here man. Let me know how I can help. Bless up my brother

@Soulful Livin I appreciate that man - I’m going to follow you on here ... I don’t think there is a chat option on here

@DefeatingThis! Yeah they should really add a chat option but you can always refer back to this thread and I’ll be more than happy to help. The one thing I would suggest if you’re serious about quiting is to come clean to someone. It doesn’t really matter who as long as you tell someone. It’s liberating and if you give that person your word that you’ll stop, it will give you a sense of accountability and motivation. The day I told my fiancé I promised her I would never watch it again and I haven’t done it. Not only for me but for her. It’s for both of us. I don’t wanna let her or myself down. I’m sending strength and love your way my man