Is ruminating on a thought a compulsion? Even if you don't know it was intrusive?

Well, I don't know. I guess to find if it means I will rebel. My obsession is that I will rebel and go crazy. I fear being made fun of and acting out. I had this thought that maybe if I just started branching out and being less uptight or something then I would stop feeling this way. Now I feel like that means I want to act out and do bad things. I can't figure it out :(

@Anonymous Rumination will do this to you! The best thing you can do right now is to try your best not to analyze the intrusive thoughts and the fears because that’s how ocd traps you in it’s cycle! It’s such a mind game but if you can catch yourself starting to ruminate and stop it trust me it helps so much. You can do it!

@Anonymous Okay. I just think it wasn't intrusive but I'm not sure. How do I even know? :(

@Anonymous I’m gonna try to explain this without giving reassurance or anything that will cause compulsions because that is what ocd wants! For me personally, the intrusive thought causes anxiety to flare up and I get super panicky and worried and immediately spiral into “what if’s”. It might be different for you, but if you find yourself constantly worrying about the same thought and trying to reassure it then it could be intrusive!

@Anonymous Okay! Thank you! That makes sense!! I just think I really thought it but then I got anxious but I suppose it could still be intrusive it just felt natural and not random like usual

@Anonymous If you have the time definitely listen to the podcast that’s posted! The ocd stories have a ton of great ones that help those dealing with ocd and those who don’t understand the difficulties of this disorder!

@Anonymous Thank you!! I will have to take a look!

@Anonymous “To find out if it means I will rebel.” Yes, that’s a compulsion. If you are doing it to figure something else which will relieve your anxiety, it is a compulsion. An “intrusive” thought doesn’t have to be something off the wall that comes out of nowhere, it can be anything that you attach to that causes you distress.

@christinejg94 Okay. Thank you! I feel so scared right now and I am half way through ERP. Im afraid it isn't working

The initial thought that caused the fear would be considered the intrusive thought and then all the thinking after that is rumination.

@Anonymous I asked a lot of questions in ERP because I was worried too. Do you have mostly mental compulsions?

@christinejg94 Oh okay! That makes sense. Thanks!!

@christinejg94 I do. I had a couple physical ones like i would scratch my hand but mostly mental

@Anonymous With mental it’s often tricky because it’s kinda hard to differentiate between obsession and compulsion. But for me personally, rumination (all sorts, playing it out to judge how bad it is/was, imagining “confessing” it and how the other person would react and replaying it over and over in my head were common.) I often felt like I had to replay things because the more I did, the more I felt like if I could just do it onnneee more time I’d figure it out. I’d REALLY know how bad this is or what I really did. It’s like an itch. That initial fear is a little poison ivy scratch. You scratch it. You itch even more, suddenly what was just a scrape on your hand has moved up your whole arm and is migrating to your torso. Because your scratching it. Don’t really know what that had to do with what you asked but I just wanted to share that. 😂 I have a pretty firm grasp of ERP now and what’s what so ask away if you have any questions. It’s important to recognize your compulsions so you can prevent them.

@christinejg94 Side note though: the takeaway here is that if your are ruminating to figure something else it is always a compulsion. It doesn’t matter if the thought was intrusive or if you deliberately brought it up in order to ruminate, it’s a compulsion if you are doing it to bring yourself assurance.

@christinejg94 Okay. Thank you. I think it may have been real or true but I'm not sure. Its not that it was bad it just made my mind go to me going bad crazy. For me I mainly get intrusive while i work on my small biz that I don't wsnt to do it, someone will make fun of me for it and I will rebel, thay I think its lame, too responsible, ir that I wsnt to be out parting and doing drugs and alcohol all the time. I can't tell if its real. Maybe I really want that and that makes me freak out and stop working. Working then feels like I hate it and dont want it and do think its lame and I can't shake it. Should I just work anyway and let these thoughts come even if they are true and I really want to be out doing whatever crazy thing my mind comes up with?

@Anonymous Yep. Just work anyway. Doesn’t matter if the thoughts are true. The content of the thoughts isn’t the OCD, it’s the way you relate to them.

Also thank you for this!! I will have to check it out